Help, I'm in desparate need. I'm so lost.

Yup, I often come on here instead of doing the alternative!

 

Make it three, you can do it.

 

The problem is that you 'associate' PLEASURE ' with PORN. You need to associate 'PAIN' with Porn. Your wife needs to leave you or you leave her. This is demoralisation for your wife. She must feel totally inadequate and insignificant. Imagine walking in on you wife masturbating to pornography Everyday, you would feel the same. You see, you're not feeling the consequences of your addiction and temptation, I.E. the PAIN of you actions, your only feeling the PLEASURE. Start advertising in your mind what life would be like if you wife left you, the loneliness, the tears, depression, insignificance,...etc

 

If they have children, they should try to not leave each other. That is the first thing to aim for. This problem can be fixed.

 

That will do. You/he/she/it can do it. Best of luck.

 

Maybe the problem can be fixed, but how? And would his children want their mother sexually demoralised. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM is that compulsive sexual people masterbating to porn don't feel any pain or consequences of their actions. Over eating has consequences,obesity,alcohol addiction has consequences, liver disease, compulsive gambling has consequences, financial ruin, and so Masterbating and sexually lusting women outside of marriage MUST have consequences. There should be no excuses for this behaviour, NO support, and NO justification. And most of all NO TOLERANCE. If she supports him by tolerating his addiction, she is enabling him. That's why he's not getting RESULTS

 

The man said it, I think. The kids come first. Absolutely.

 

Start a daily journal on the forum. It will keep you coming back here. Log how your day went. You can go beyond your urges and how your overcame them and talk about your wants goals, dreams (both kinds if you want!). It will help you understand yourself and why you use porn. Why do you get from porn? What does porn take away from you? What could you lose because of porn? The more you understand yourself the more tools you will have fight the good fight. Let me tell you, this is what I have done. I used to masturbate 4-5 times daily. In the car - at work, you name it. Everyday I come on here and see my badge is a day higher. I get to know myself more. And sometimes when I have an urge I think of the post I will write after I relapse. I don't want to write that post so that is another reason. You will need all the reasons you can get your hands on and this forum will give you that and more. Come back and come back often my friend. Let me tell you, it is hard but it is worth it. You will get your life back.

We can do it my friend.

 

Well done. You can do it.

 

You have three days of self control. Well done. Do not tell yourself that you find this hard. You are changing.

 

Stay strong bro. It's not worth it. 3 days is awesome! Just mess around on this board until your exhausted and go to bed.

 

A huge part of the appeal and power of internet porn is the endlless novelty - there is always another *different* girl just a click away.

No woman can compete with that. NONE, no matter how perfect.

Look up the "Coolidge Effect", here or at http://yourbrainonporn.com - specifically https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/search/node/Coolidge effect .

 

My friend, I know that you would never leave your wife for another woman physically, in your heart, you are leaving her, when you are masterbating to porn.

 

Are you religious at all. I might be able to provide some direction through Christisnity. I was Agostic recently, but turned to Jesus and counselling through the bible. All the Answers are there. Don't give up, I'm here to help...