Help me please.

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Lonelybell01, Nov 5, 2018.

  1. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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    He is seeing a therapist today.
    He said he will change but I don't wanna believe him because my trust is 100% lost.
    He cheated multiple times, lied straight to my face and I feel so disgusted when I think about he videocalls others girls and then having intimate moments wih me after. I regret everything.
     
  2. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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    I wanna love him woth all my heart and God knows that I want him to be my lfirst and last. :( It makes me so sad to think about what happen to him. I know he is a good man.
     
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  3. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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    Will definitely do this.
    I want him to realize my worth.
     
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  4. I thought it was limited to just P, I know how tough it is for you to process this all, when we love someone & it all goes to drain.. I understand what you're going through but you gotta stay strong.. He's a human, we all make mistakes.. But if he's willing to go the distance & make amends, if you feel he's worthy of forgiveness then only forgive.. Right now, its a test for both of you to see whether you both can make it or not.. Sending positive vibes & strength to you :)

    This addiction is a tough nut to crack.. But with time, recovery & support, everything is possible!! Good luck!!
     
  5. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

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    good, make him realize what he is missing.
     
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  6. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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    Thankyou so much tho. Your replies are somehow positive and I feel like I need to approach it also woth just a positive vibes.
    I don't want this feeling of angriness fed upon me completely.
    I do, somehow, wants to make things work for him. I know it will take a month or year but I wish he will a long patience to deal with me
     
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  7. I'm glad I could be of help! Its a wonderful community where we support each other!! Hope you both make it & live a peaceful, happy & prosperous life !! :)
     
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  8. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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  9. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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    Thankyou!
    He admitted that he's a PA and he cheated on me for 2 years without me knowing it. He hides it very well.
    We have no children.
    However, he is my first boyfriend and I'm his 2nd.
    He said he want to stop.
    He visited a therapist today.
    He said that he wants to change.
    But to be honest, I don't know, I feel like I can't trust him anymore. I feel worthless right now. My mind is a mess. I kept thinking what I have done wrong to him and why I wasn't enough for him. I don't believe any single word I hear from him right now.
     
  10. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    What sparked this sudden admission
     
  11. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it's important to figure out why he chose to tell you now. Also when you say cheated, do you mean he physically and emotionally cheated? or just cheated with PMO? Like what are your definitions and his definitions. Oftentimes men don't see PMO as cheating.
     
  12. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

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    Setting boundaries is self-care really. You have the right to feel safe, and that is what a boundary is, it creates safety. If you want him to move out, that is a perfectly fine boundary. And often SO's wait 6 months to a year to make a final decision on whether they want to stay or leave the relationship. There are many factors to that decision, but right now, take care of yourself. This is a time to grieve, take space, and take time to think and reflect.

    With space comes clarity and hopefully you can figure out what you want to do moving forward after some time. The beginning is the roughest. The first 3 months I was a wreck. I can't really remember much of the first week of DDAy given how traumatic it was. It does get better though, you can heal from this! We are here to support you
     
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  13. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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    He said the guilt has pushed him to admit all of this. For 2 years he was cheating, and He doesn't realize it was PA until NOW.
    I feel so betrayed because he was so good in hiding all of it. I trusted him with all my heart but now, everything shattered. I feel so worthless right now.
     
  14. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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    He said that all the guilt pushed him to admit all of this. And he doesn't realize it was PA until NOW.
    He's videocalling and chatting girls that what's he said.
    We're living together and I just can't imagine how he did that.
    He said that when I was asleep, he was videocalling other girls and exchanging nudes and other horrible stuffs like that. And for 2 years he's doing all of this.
    I feel so empty right now, I don't even know my worth any more. I just feel shattered. I can't describe the pain.
     
  15. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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    Tbh I want nothing but the best for him. But as for the relationship, I don't know anymore. I feel like it is too risky for me to try out with him again. I don't want any regrets.
    As for now, he wouldn't accept the fact that I can't trust him anymore.
    He said he wants to change and He would not do it all again.
    But I don't believe him.
     
  16. Lonelybell01

    Lonelybell01 Fapstronaut

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    I feel like I can't trust him anymore bur on the other hand, I wanna help him recover.
    I think my real question is, how do I know if he's worthy of a second chance?
     
  17. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Only YOU can decide that... On the side of the devils advocate... He DID tell you without prompt, right??
    Most of the time, PAs torture SOs with years of sex withholding and gaslighting and trying to hide their addictions and affairs.
    He just told you.
    Because?
    Because.
    That sounds like a someone who wants to keep you to me.
    Idk... I wish my SO would have just told me about his affair and addiction.
    But I can't just Wish upon a star or for his addiction to be different... Some are worse some are different, they all hurt the SO and they all suck.
    You get the PA you get... That's it.
    It's about what you do next.
    If you had discovered instead, do think you would feel differently?
    Worse?
    Better?
    What would be different?
    How?
     
  18. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

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    Hey I hope things go well. I know that you're hurting right now. Give it some time and continue to be supportive of him. I think you should give him another chance because he's already done a lot of things that show he's going to quit this.
     
  19. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

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    I agree
     
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