futureyogi

Fapstronaut
Hi everyone,

A while ago, the thought of posting my story on a "NoFap" forum absolutely terrified me, but ever since I have been at university, I am probably less ashamed and more open about this topic (I now realise that addiction is an aspect of my mind which is malleable and in a process of change).

It started when I was 12 or 13, and I felt that I had little control over this. Sometimes, I used to spend hours finding the right video, but I am now performing PMO less frequently. Regardless, I have started my journey of sadhana (experiential understanding of my true nature), and I feel that PMO is quite a hindrance, especially as it indicates a lack of self control. I also feel that it was wrong of me to take pleasure from videos depicting women suffering, or even those where I find enjoyment in purely the physical aspect of a woman, rather than her whole being. I am not enjoying other people, only their bodies.

This habit may have also held me back in my personal relationships, from the subconscious impressions of the disparity between my personal and secretive life. Ultimately, this is a key hurdle in my self-mastery, through which I hope to benefit the wellbeing of others.

Please pester me and keep me motivated in my journey.

:emoji_pray: :emoji_blush: Pranaam
 
Welcome. When I read this:

I am not enjoying other people, only their bodies.

I thought - you're not only doing that for other people, you're also only 'enjoying' your own body rather than your whole being. As far as porn it is only the visual impression of bodies anyway, and on your side it is certainly mostly the body with some sense impressions and mental stories.

Anyway look forward to talking with you more.
 
Welcome. When I read this:



I thought - you're not only doing that for other people, you're also only 'enjoying' your own body rather than your whole being. As far as porn it is only the visual impression of bodies anyway, and on your side it is certainly mostly the body with some sense impressions and mental stories.

Anyway look forward to talking with you more.
Thank you bhai. :) :emoji_pray:
 
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