I don't understand what's happening, need help from the gurus

I am a journey to recovery I just don't understand what going on in my body head an everywhere. Long story short , I was on course to a 30 days streak when I relapsed on the last days that would be on a Saturday as I recall and you guys know the who self loathe and downward spiral that comes with a relapse but I was able to jump back on the wagon the next day and decided to start a fresh streak 90days this time. Currently i am 20days in and I don't know what's wrong with me.
I feel very stressed out, unmotivated, I don't even want to talk to my girlfriend, my d!CK feel lifeless, and shrunken, the quality of my sleep is subpar , and these days I find myself ogling at women with massive behind ( not on the internet but in real life and on the streets) I tend to admire their shapes and beauty ...I just don't understand please guys I need your insights
Requesting for reinforcement.... Sergeant Tipsy over and out!!!

 

That's true .I need to educate myself more on flatline also I always have this pee-gasm whenever I urinate....any thoughts on that