I have a problem that has gone far!

welcome to the forums brother! we all struggle it is what makes us human. it is great that you became aware that you have a problem. now you can act upon it. and believe me, it is possible to be free; just go read some of the success stories here! also i recommend you read to all about nofap here https://nofap.com/porn-addiction/

 

Welcome to the community friend. You are not alone in this struggle.

My story is similar to yours.

Relapsed 100s of times. Cried myself to sleep many nights.

In my opinion, the first thing is to make a specific list of WHY you want to quit. Write it down, keep it near, and refer to it often.

There are tons of strategies guys have found helpful in their fight for freedom. These are some that work for me:

1. No cell phone or computer in your bedroom or bathroom.
2. Don't be the last one up at night.
3. If you're alone in the house, go for a walk or run, call a friend, pray, cook something, vacuum, or whatever. Do not remain idle.
4. Cold showers! They reduce lust and clear your mind.
5. Exercise daily, make yourself sweat! Your body and urges have had their own way far too long. Time to show them who's the boss!
6. You can't help seeing a cute girl, but you can hold back from taking a second look or fantasizing.
7. If you're not ejaculating, wet dreams may increase. No sweat. They do NOT break your streak. Their your body's way of relieving build-up. Just don't fantasize about them the next morning.

Here are some other strategies shared to me by some wise person

Displacement Activities

• Work out (squats seem popular with many nofappers).
• Do yoga or stretching.
• Groom yourself (shower, trim fingernails, shave, floss, brush teeth, use tongue scraper, wash your clothes, etc.).
• Get squeeze balls for your hands (squeeze the squeeze ball and not your dick).
• Go for a walk.
• Read a book instead of surf the web.
• Hang out with people.
• Join a club (or clubs).
• Clean the house/apartment/room.
• Fix something around the house.
• Start a chore that you have been putting off.
• learn something new (a language, a musical instrument, cooking, solve a Rubik's cube etc).
• 2 minute time out.

Avoidance Techniques

• Delete your porn folder, delete your porn links.
• Install a porn blocker (no more looking at sexy pics).
• No edging, period. Touch yourself only when cleaning your body or urinating (see squeeze ball above).
• Stay in public places.
• Stay off the computer or phone except for a dedicated task like
  banking, work, school work, email, texting, checking nofap, checking the
  news, etc. and then log out.
• If you are surging stay off the computer or phone completely.
• Do not mindlessly surf the web because you will eventually click on a trigger.
• Wear thick pants with a belt.
• Go to bed only when you are about to sleep.
• Get out of bed immediately after waking.
• Beer, wine, liquor and pot: avoid these until you have solid control of your fappy impulses.

Mental Motivation

• Remember why you are doing this.
• Acquiring that strong sense of self-pride and being able to look people in the eye.
• There will never be a day where porn will leave you happy and fulfilled.
• Remember how shitty you feel right after you fap.
• Remember that as your pleasure centres rewire you will start enjoying the experiences of your life more vividly.
• If you fap then you are training yourself to be mediocre.
• If you fap then prepare to lose your manliness.
• When you fap then your sex life is watching other people fuck. This trains your brain to be a beta male.
• If you fap you will numb yourself to your life (your only life) and you will never have a hope of completing yourself.
• A fraction of the women in porn are leading abused lives. You don 't want to contribute to the harm of another person.
• Porn and fapping makes you look at woman in the wrong ways. You don't want to be that guy.
• People can sense you are a beta male when you fap. They can sense it.
• When you don't fap you will become more alpha. Alpha doesn't mean
  aggressive douchebag, I know buddhist monks and lay meditators who are
  very alpha and very good people at the same time.
• Don't do nofap to get a women in your bed, do it for yourself.
• Remember that if if you don't have ED you will eventually get it.
• Remember that if you have ED then nofap will cure it (if there are no underlying medical issues).
• You will have the freedom of not worrying about your browser history.
• You will have the freedom of not having that second, hidden, fappy personality.
• You will have a more sensitive and normal genital response (i.e. no more death grip/death schlick syndrome).

Improve Your Commitment

• Acknowledge to yourself that you have a problem, an addiction even.
• Make a public commitment to stop fapping (for most of us this is an
  anonymous but public commitment like here on nofap, for some it could be
  a trusted buddy or your SO).
• if you have an accountability partner, call or text them when you are surging.
• Mark out your nofap days on a calendar ('x' out each day with a
  coloured marker, if you relapse then 'x' out each subsequent day of your
  new streak using a different coloured marker). It doesn't have to be
  paper, I use my iPad calendar.
• ... but remember that every day is Day 1 no matter how high your counter is.
• Also post your progress on nofap every so often. Post daily if you are going through a rough patch.
• "Low fap" does not work, cold turkey is the best way to go.
• Go to nofap and help others.
• Meditation.
• Identify your triggers (stress, anxiety, boredom, some kind of perceived failure) and realize that a fap session will not help.

Tricks of Last Resort

• Cold showers.
• If cold showers are too traumatic for you then wash your unit with a
  cold face cloth until the urge passes. Washing your face in cold water
  may also work.
• If you are not doing hard mode then get your woman or man to "relieve" your tension.

This post is only about Phase I of nofap. Phase II of nofap is about living for purpose, not pleasure.

Finally

• Fall down. Get up.
• Fall down. Get up.
• Fall down. Get up.
• Fall down. Get up.
• Fall down. Get up. Stay up. Help others.

Good Luck!

This is one tough battle, buddy. Stay strong, determined, and vigilant. Be patient with yourself.

 

Hi, welcome to the forum!

I just wanna tell you a couple of things:
First of all, you've done the first step: Realizing you have a problem. Almost all people today, specially teenagers like you and me, masturbate everyday and compunsively and they don't know they're addicted, they even feel proud about PMO and they think they are more "masculine" if they masturbate. Instead, all of us who are here in NoFap have realized we have a problem and we want to stop PMO. So, thank you for sharing your story, I wanna let you know that nobody judges you in this forum (or at least all the messages I've seen are positive). We are like brothers fighting for the same problem and that helps more of what we think.
I also wanna give you a little advice that helps me. Write a list of all your triggers and what cuases you urges. Then write a solution for each trigger. For example one of my triggers are erections. My solution to that is instantly start doing push-ups to focus on another thing. So I recommend you that.

That's all from me, hope it helps you Good luck brother and keep strong because we all can win PMO!