I need to get serious here

I’m sick of relapsing. Unlike others, the urges never get the better of me in the end. It’s the freaking withdrawals. I end up experiencing so many intense physical/mental symptoms whenever I’m on a streak that I end up relapsing just to get relief. So in that sense I’ve been weak, too weak to power through them and get to the other side of it like I know I need to do. My goal was to go the entirety of 2019 starting from New Year’s Day without PMO. That plan has already bit the dust. I do not want to waste a single additional day this year by throwing it away to fapping instead of recovery, nor do I plan to. This journey must happen, and it must begin now. Wish me luck.