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I tried it again...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by MrMurk, Feb 19, 2018.

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  1. Feb 19, 2018 #1
    MrMurk

    MrMurk Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    It was probably the 55th time I reinstalled the dating App Tinder. I was tired of using these type of apps. My friend suggested to me to install it, so that I could overcome my fear of social anxiety by talking to girls.

    There were still a few matches from a while ago. So I started to talk to one of them. Surprisingly enough she talked back. But then I stopped talking to her. And I did wonder why...

    I asked myself. Why do I not want to talk to these girls? She looks good though! What if I was talking to a guy right now, would it be any different? Was my friend right about me being into guys?

    I couldn't come up with a good answer. My brain cracked, but no clear answer came to me. The couch looked at me and said "come over here and chill". So I stumbled to my couch.

    There I was lying and thinking about the questions I asked myself just a moment ago, and why I did not feel motivated to even cook my dinner even when I was hungry.

    All of a sudden it dawned on me...

    I was fapping and using pornographic images, videos and even fetish related toys to arouse my sexual need for quiet an extensive time. And in the mean time my life was going in a downwards spiral. The link between how the person on the couch felt about himself and what he had been doing for months upon this moment became very clear. It felt time to really do something about it.

    My symptoms are very clear:
    • Social Anxiety
    • The feeling of "I have nothing to offer"
    • Quitting on life
    • Feeling less and less motivated to do things
    I had two periods of approx. 90 days without PMO. And I remember them as my most motivated, less anxious and most valuable and social time of my life. And also the most challenging time.

    The first period I relapsed was after I had sex with a girl and didn't had an orgasm. I had to "finish" it myself. One time masturbating became a second time. A second time became...

    The second period I relapsed was after a failed "sex"date at my home. Again... I had to "finish" it myself. One time masturbating became...

    I felt like I have become the person that I do not supposed to be in life. Before porn, when I was a kid I was always very social. Now I do almost everything by my own (and it sucks). I feel that porn and masturbating stands in the way.

    So now I start with 90 days PMO-free. In the meantime I will go to the gym four times a week and learn Spanish. Since I have no work or study at the moment, I will work on another project or hobby of which I haven't decided what exactly.

    I like:
    • DJ'ing / Creating music
    • Flying
    • Cooking
    I prefer doing something outdoors/social. A computer is actually a huge red flag for me. I will decide what I'll do by the end of the day.

    At this moment I feel very apathic, does anyone experienced this before?

    I hope this community will help me living a free life in the sence of free from (social) anxiety and porn/masturbation obsessiveness. My hope is that I can give back someday to the people that are then in need here by inspiring and sharing my story and insights to help overcome their obstacles.

    Kind Regards,

    Marek
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
    MrMurk, Feb 19, 2018
    MrMurk, Feb 19, 2018
    #1
    SteelshoT, Lions and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Feb 19, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hey @MarekvBeek ,

    Welcome to NoFap! You are in the right place.

    I'm just a regular member on here, so take what I say as my experience. I found that I needed to:

    1. Learn the NoFap program.

    2. Get involved with the community.

    The best resource I found was the “Getting Started with NoFap” guide. It is on the NoFap homepage and you can download it for free from this link https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/new-users-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/

    Then, watch this video:



    It is really good and explains so much about how the blasting of porn images into the brain in high definition on high speed internet while slamming porn sounds into the ears with headphones can literally change the way your brain demands sexual stimulation.

    The video explains it better than I can.

    Also, a great page is https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/new-users-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/ my experience is that by reading every link and watching every video, I learned so much.

    Then, I got involved with the community. I'm not anyone special on here, I don't have any magic powers. But, I can say hello to new members, post my journal entries, remember to “like” peoples posts, and offer my experience, strength and hope where appropriate.

    Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

    --> L

    PS - Think of pmo like a wolf. Stay near the center of the group with the winners and the wolf has a more difficult time finding you. But, stray near the edges of the community and the wolf can pick you off.
     
    Deleted Account, Feb 19, 2018
    Deleted Account, Feb 19, 2018
    #2
    SteelshoT, MrMurk and Lions like this.
  3. Feb 19, 2018 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

    I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

    Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

    @Alikersantti - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155162/
    ---
    @C. J. - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/153580/
    ---
    @Reverent - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143845/
    ---
    @KbLnW - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152710/
    ---
    @Struggle Bug - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/141911/
    ---
    @BigDawg913 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/145872/
    ---
    @kropo82 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/78164/
    ---
    @tet2vd - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144513/
    ---
    @Protagoras - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/109842/
    ---
    @JakeO5 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152940/
    ---

    There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

    This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.

    --> L

    PS - Starting a journal also helped me a great deal.

    The journals are listed by age groups on the forum start page. Most members run one journal only. That way both the member and others can go back and look at their journey at a later time.

    Hope to read your journal soon. Also, in your personal details you can put a link to your journal. Then, appears under your avatar.

    -
     
    Deleted Account, Feb 19, 2018
    Deleted Account, Feb 19, 2018
    #3
    SteelshoT, MrMurk and Lions like this.
  4. Feb 19, 2018 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship.

    Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles.

    I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship.

    @Gray Wolf
    @Chriss27
    @ludwig525
    @C. J.
    @hoping_cannon
    @DavidGibson
    @SteelshoT
    @Jewels
    @reystronaut
    @2525
    @weddingnails
    @PatrickR
    @Beamer

    Look at with whom they exchange messages and you will find more profiles.

    So, if you would have found more profiles yourself, why suggest these particular ones as a start? Those relationships started with just saying hello. So, my ESH is that saying hello has kept the fellowship alive for myself.

    Looking forward to your success and in seeing you say hello on these profiles,

    --> L
     
    Deleted Account, Feb 19, 2018
    Deleted Account, Feb 19, 2018
    #4
    SteelshoT, MrMurk and Lions like this.

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