I'm new. Please be nice

If I had a partner or a wife I would most likely have told her as well, so it only make sense. Honesty is the way to go and especially in a relationship since a porn addiction can be more noticed then. Like ED isn't something that should be a happening for a healthy man, so something isn't right, she would most likely think.

An a addiction is never something to be proud of and it's just embarrassing and shameful. It's very unfortunate that addictions today is very common. In my opinion, it's because we have to many things today that can be solved with "quick fixes". If you want sex or feeling horny and don't have someone to do it with, you can either, watch porn and masturbate, buy a service from a prostitute or buy a sex toy. Those three things would I consider as "quick fixes" because they are easy to get and achieve.

I have reed about a sex toy brand called "Fleshlight" that has become quite popular by males. According to Fleshlight themselves, it shall be the closest thing to a "vagina" on the market. Maybe it's true, maybe it's not, dunno, because I've never tried or owned one. But since it's seems to be the most popular sex toy for males, they have to do something right, even though it will never be like real intercourse. Are you familiar with this brand as well?

 

Absolutely not, I just wondered if you knew what a "Fleshlight" was, not that you should get one. To be in a committed relationships is a much healthier way, than buying one for self pleasure. When you said "I did at one point when I was single" did you mean that you owned one at that point or would you consider getting one?

Yeah, has to be annoying when you are up to something important and all of a sudden those urges grows inside of you and you need to go and release that built up pressure, especially at work. If I were in your situation and got those urges during work, I don't think I could manage getting to the toilet and rub one out. It would feel hella weird to do that outside of my home. To me it would feel like doing it "in public" even though it isn't technically, since you are at a private area on the job. But that's just me, some take risks because they can't hold against it.

 

Gotcha! Well who knows, maybe your partner wouldn't have appreciated if you had a "Fleshlight" either, since it's a artificial recreation of a female genital.

Even though I would not consider getting one, but sometimes I might wonder why it's such a popular male sex toy. I suppose it makes you get the job done and has a more nice feeling to it compared to your hand, i dont know. Many sees male sex toys as "taboo" today as well, so I don't think males that own such a thing is very open with it. If I remember correctly, I reed somewhere that they even make porn stars genitals. Which is hella weird if you ask me but if you are really into a specific porn star and uses her own Fleshlight while watching her, maybe it could be a whole new masturbation experience. But you can also pay a high price because of it, maybe it will make you masturbate even more because it's something new and nice.

I hope my Fleshlight topic doesn't make you get thoughts about relapse or something. I was only curious and wanted to ask you a simple question.

 

Good! Because I don't want to bring up sensitive stuff that you already struggling with. This is a forum to get rid of the addiction and not to make it worse or make things trigger you

What didn't you know? That Fleshlight makes products of porn stars genitals or that it's considered "taboo" for a male to own one?

 

Gotcha! Yeah it's pretty weird that females are allowed to use toys for self pleasure without it being considered "taboo". Maybe it's because some aren't able to get an orgasm during vaginal intercourse and therefore need a toy to achieve that pleasure as well, while males has it easier to get an orgasm during intercourse.

How's your NoFap journey going btw? Is it still as bad as it was in the beginning or has it calmed down a bit?

On sunday I've reached my first whole month and it has gone better than expected. Sure the "urges" are still a pain in the ass somedays but I manage to control them. I don't know if I've reached the "flatline" yet though. I don't feel my sex drive to be as strong anymore but I'm still being able to get erections but they won't last long and they aren't stiff more slack.

 

Here we can help each other by encouraging to avoid or somehow gradually limit PMO until we can control it.

 

I know its difficult bro. I‘m struggling too but everytime you fall stand up again stronger.

 

Thank you, I wish you the best of luck too in your continuing journey!

I'm happy that some users has been able to guide you in the right direction and maked it easier for you to avoid relapsing.

My first month hasn't been easy either. The urges some days has been a real pain in the ass and all that goes through my mind is if I'm gonna be able to avoid a relapse or relapse. But because of my strong will and determination I have manged to fight aginst it. Now I see the urges more as a competition rather than something hard.

What I mean by that is that I see the urges as something my brain makes me feel because it wants to test how strong or weak I am, if I'm strong I will continue without any relapse but if I would have been weak I would have relapsed without a doubt weeks ago.

I also see the urges as something I need to go through because it's part of the rewiring process. The urges is the things you need to experience because your brain has started to delete all the bad content you have seen as well as the habits I have had for many years.

 

That's understandable!

Ever since we started posting comments to each other I have understood more and more why you are having such a hard time, since your addiction seems to be quite stronger than mine. You have really struggled with this addiction both at home and even at work. Been watching porngraphic content for hours and been masturbating multiple times at some points.

Even though you still haven't feelt any major differences and is still having a hard time to complete each day, you still should be proud of yourself. To go day after day with bad urges and still not fall for your brains tricks to relapse makes you a strong person and I truly believe that you will break free from this one day and be able to get a healthier and happier life together with your amazing partner.

I hope this new place of yours can be a new chapter in life for both of you. A life without any shity addictions and more real and healthy love. A life that will make you find your true YOU again with the passion for horror, playing games and guitar. A life where you are able to get your normal dopamine level back and be able to see a nude girl in a horror movie without getting the urge of masturbate

 

You welcome, always happy to help!

Yeah, move to a new apartment or house does take time and energy. Things shall be transported from your old place to the new place and than set everything at it's places. I moved about a year ago as well and it was pretty hectic for me too. Lot's to do before and after the move, but that stress will ease with the time when everything has started to calm down.

Of course you do, a lot of people wants to be able to get rid of their addictions and start to enjoy their real passions in life instead. Porn and masturbation is something that can be done in a couple of minutes, same with sex. It's just temporary pleasure while playing video games, watching movies and other hobbies will be much more time consuming. Hell no, that I would spend as much time watching porn and masturbate as I play games during the weeks, if I would have, my penis would have separated from my body by now most likely, LoL!

Joke aside, it's good to want too get rid of porn, masturbation suppose to have benefits if you of course doesn't abuses it. Even though you masturbate without porn your brain will still release dopamine and if you still have problems with your dopamine levels, I think it's a good idea to stop masturbation until you have reset your dopamine again.

If I'm not completely wrong, NoFap allows sex but not masturbation? Both will make you orgasm and orgasm = dopamine, so for me it doesn't make sense. Of course you will get a more emotional experience when you do it with someone you love but still. Is this a rule only to be respectful against you partner? I can't see why sex would be so much more innocent if you struggle with dopamine problems. Maybe I'm over thinking it all.