I'm socially r*tarded and mute.. What can I do to change my behavior?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Mally1990, Dec 16, 2018.

  1. Mally1990

    Mally1990 Fapstronaut

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    I want to change but over the years from all the isolation and friendlessness. I became a weirdo. I can't hold proper conversations. I feel like people are judging me. I'm currently on Day 0 I wanna start my streak. Sometimes I feel like it doesn't matter anyways since I'm never gonna change. Are there people who were worse than me who changed because of NoFap?
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  2. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Take small steps every day. Make yourself presentable and get out of the house and go do stuff. Anything but staying home playing video games or going on the internet.
     
  3. Mally1990

    Mally1990 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah but I keep making social f*ck ups. Sometimes I say dumb sh*t and realize it 1 minute afterwards.
     
  4. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    I've heard self-defense classes build confidence. Also, try going to a psychologist that uses the CBT technique (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). The best technique however, is experience. Actually going out and doing stuff.
     
  5. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    I don't know anyone that has not done that at least once or a few times. You get better with more practice.
     
  6. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Most people that are great at social interactions are people that have fucked up and said dumb shit way more than you. That's how they learned. They gained experience beyond their comfort zone despite being incompetent and insecure at first. They research and learn from other people. They learn from their mistakes. They gain experience, competence, and confidence.

    You want all the rewards and skills without having to go through the process of actually attaining those things. You want a fantasy rather than reality.

    I consider myself really good at social interactions and I still fuck up and say dumb shit on a daily basis, but because I'm comfortable and experienced with it, I'm able to adapt and learn quickly.
     
    CH3RRY, Ra's Al Ghul and Romans 6 23 like this.
  7. Romans 6 23

    Romans 6 23 Fapstronaut

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    what everyone else said^

    we often say "anything worth doing is worth doing right " nope - anything worth doing is worth doing wrong.

    Think about a 1 yr old learning to walk. when that tiny toddler falls down do we yell at it "if youre gonna walk, walk right!" no. we applaud that first step before the fall. Then its 2 or 3 steps then they're running before you know it.

    I can relate brother. I used to be extremely shy and anxious. I still have social anxiety. Honestly what did it for me was a job that forced me out of my shell. You need to get out of the house. you will stutter and stumble. but the next time will be better. hang in there brother
     
    elevate and SaveMeBeforeIFall like this.
  8. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure where this perfectionism comes from. The belief that we should never struggle, make mistakes, fail, get rejected, or be imperfect at something... especially something we don't have much experience with.

    Is it just a fear of being ridiculed by others? Anyone that's taking risks and putting effort into growing as a person doesn't have time to ridicule you. Only people that spectate and haven't experienced themselves the struggles to attain those rewards have time for it.

    Let go of the story that everything is supposed to be happy, perfect, easy, comfortable, certain, and instantly gratifying all the time. That's what porn was for. If you want something real, then you'll have to condition yourself to experience imperfect, difficult, uncomfortable, and uncertain delayed gratifications.

    Your ego doesn't like its perfect image of itself being destroyed whenever it encounters something uncertain or difficult. So it does anything to convince you that you shouldn't even try unless there was a guarantee that you would get your perfect outcome (which doesn't exist).
     
    Ra's Al Ghul and Romans 6 23 like this.
  9. The Swan of Tuonela

    The Swan of Tuonela Fapstronaut

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    You are still young. Find a CrossFit gym near you, and endure it for two weeks. What's two-weeks when you are trying to change your life? It will be the best thing that's ever happened to you. (The good thing about CrossFit is you do it as a group... not by yourself like a regular gym, and they are very welcoming)
     
  10. meatsandwich

    meatsandwich Fapstronaut

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    Crossfit is best exercising way to get spine injury though.....
     
  11. The Swan of Tuonela

    The Swan of Tuonela Fapstronaut

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    I won't deny the possibility, but once you become familiar with your body, you will be able to control your workload. I always tell people to not go too hard, keeping it reasonable.
     
  12. meatsandwich

    meatsandwich Fapstronaut

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    Still skipping pull ups where you can damage spine easily, then other stuff where they use tons of momentum where the form is thrown away fully.
    Otherwise it would be great way, but I mostly disapprove it mostly because of it.
     
  13. so you not gonna ever talk to anybody because u say dumb shit?
    If you say dumb shit people will laugh, just smile more so they have to guess if u are serious or not. If u smile everything might look there is a big chance u joking.
    Also be kind.
    Try to be kind, not hurt anybody and smile more . Thats it
     

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