I'm starting again (180+ days streak broken) [Some advice]

[Deleted Account]

Hey everyone!

We'll just refer to me as "Ax" here.

Now I have been a lurker and a supporter of NoFap for the longest time, and I was here under another alias. Sadly after day 180, I relapsed and binged into the worst possible situation. I was collecting way more disgusting material than I ever had. I was constantly forcing myself to masturbate even with a limp penis. It was dreadful.

I felt extremely crushed after breaking such a huge streak. And it's been almost a year now, and I've recently just started again. This time I am very determined to stop this madness once and for all.

Common lies that made me relapse:

• "You already looked at porn/triggering media, you might as well PMO and start clean". [NO! This is absolute bullshit. If you look at these things and don't do anything about it, you're basically telling your brain that you refuse to associate that with your sexual release. You're rewiring.]
• "You should start on "___ date" [Once again, no. You should never have any reason to PMO in the first place once you're on this journey.]
• "You won't have sex or be with someone now, so what's the point? Might as well PMO until you meet someone." [This is horrible because chances are you will develop PIED based on the fact that most addicts have increasing fetishes and vanilla will never compare. So when you eventually do meet someone, you'll just be setting yourself up for failure and then get even more depressed about it]
• "I just want to look at these pictures of pretty women, just to appreciate how they look" [Needless to say this just leads to more pictures, and eventually a relapse]

These are the things that have affected me, so I hope they're useful to you guys.

Here's to a new life, free from these shackles my brothers and sisters.

 

[Fenix Rising]

Hey everyone!

We'll just refer to me as "Ax" here.

Now I have been a lurker and a supporter of NoFap for the longest time, and I was here under another alias. Sadly after day 180, I relapsed and binged into the worst possible situation. I was collecting way more disgusting material than I ever had. I was constantly forcing myself to masturbate even with a limp penis. It was dreadful.

I felt extremely crushed after breaking such a huge streak. And it's been almost a year now, and I've recently just started again. This time I am very determined to stop this madness once and for all.

Common lies that made me relapse:

• "You already looked at porn/triggering media, you might as well PMO and start clean". [NO! This is absolute bullshit. If you look at these things and don't do anything about it, you're basically telling your brain that you refuse to associate that with your sexual release. You're rewiring.]
• "You should start on "___ date" [Once again, no. You should never have any reason to PMO in the first place once you're on this journey.]
• "You won't have sex or be with someone now, so what's the point? Might as well PMO until you meet someone." [This is horrible because chances are you will develop PIED based on the fact that most addicts have increasing fetishes and vanilla will never compare. So when you eventually do meet someone, you'll just be setting yourself up for failure and then get even more depressed about it]
• "I just want to look at these pictures of pretty women, just to appreciate how they look" [Needless to say this just leads to more pictures, and eventually a relapse]

These are the things that have affected me, so I hope they're useful to you guys.

Here's to a new life, free from these shackles my brothers and sisters.

Congrats man, 6 months is a great achievement. I've been in very similar situation last year. 6 months of strict monk mode, followed by full blown relapse lasting for 4 months. Yeah, things escalate after abstinence, I did plenty of binge PMOings until exhaustion and caused PIED again.

I've come to realization that focusing on abstention alone won't do the trick no matter how hard I try. I've started to watch, listen and read stories from people who went through drug and alcohol addictions, neuroscience behind addiction and addiction therapists to learn the most useful tricks how to beat it.

Here are the most important ones I've learned so far:

1. Diet, daily exercise, sleep (healthy body is prerequisite to healthy mind)
2. Identify and address underlying psych issue(s) (every addict has them)
3. Set short and long term goals you'd like to achieve and focus your mind on achieving them instead of focusing on abstinence
4. Letting go (past is the past, you can't change it, future is uncertain, all we have is here and now so focus to do your best in a present moment)
5. Slips and relapses are part of recovery process-> learn from them and move on immediately (feelings of guilt and shame have no place in recovery )
6. Gratitude and positive thinking transforming your thought process from a glass half empty to glass half full thinking)
7. Determination and Self-discipline (started practicing 5 min cold shower daily routine. It builds up self-discipline when you're willing to go under cold shower the moment you wake up)

 

[bigboibez]

Congrats man, 6 months is a great achievement. I've been in very similar situation last year. 6 months of strict monk mode, followed by full blown relapse lasting for 4 months. Yeah, things escalate after abstinence, I did plenty of binge PMOings until exhaustion and caused PIED again.

I've come to realization that focusing on abstention alone won't do the trick no matter how hard I try. I've started to watch, listen and read stories from people who went through drug and alcohol addictions, neuroscience behind addiction and addiction therapists to learn the most useful tricks how to beat it.

Here are the most important ones I've learned so far:

1. Diet, daily exercise, sleep (healthy body is prerequisite to healthy mind)
2. Identify and address underlying psych issue(s) (every addict has them)
3. Set short and long term goals you'd like to achieve and focus your mind on achieving them instead of focusing on abstinence
4. Letting go (past is the past, you can't change it, future is uncertain, all we have is here and now so focus to do your best in a present moment)
5. Slips and relapses are part of recovery process-> learn from them and move on immediately (feelings of guilt and shame have no place in recovery )
6. Gratitude and positive thinking transforming your thought process from a glass half empty to glass half full thinking)
7. Determination and Self-discipline (started practicing 5 min cold shower daily routine. It builds up self-discipline when you're willing to go under cold shower the moment you wake up)

lifestyle Is honestly key to keeping PMO at bay

 

[Guysavi]

Hi.
I was on 175th day today, and i relapsed. Did it 03 times in 12 hours, including around 6 hours of edging.
Now i'm making a *word file. i'm writing down things i need to do. Positives of my streak. what caused relapse? And how to move ahead.
Hope that helped.

 

[Deleted Account]

1. Diet, daily exercise, sleep (healthy body is prerequisite to healthy mind)
2. Identify and address underlying psych issue(s) (every addict has them)
3. Set short and long term goals you'd like to achieve and focus your mind on achieving them instead of focusing on abstinence
4. Letting go (past is the past, you can't change it, future is uncertain, all we have is here and now so focus to do your best in a present moment)
5. Slips and relapses are part of recovery process-> learn from them and move on immediately (feelings of guilt and shame have no place in recovery )
6. Gratitude and positive thinking transforming your thought process from a glass half empty to glass half full thinking)
7. Determination and Self-discipline (started practicing 5 min cold shower daily routine. It builds up self-discipline when you're willing to go under cold shower the moment you wake up)

Thanks so much!

Also I really agree with you on all these points especially 5, 6 and 7.

People tend to severely underestimate how important discipline is in all things. Especially slips and relapses. I used to think that a slip would mean my entire progress was over. I felt guilty about it and it was a never ending cycle. Well I'm glad that's all done now! I hope we can help others who are at far worse stages than we're in now!