I'm starting to become ashamed of this community

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Castielle, Nov 16, 2019.

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  1. 010010010100000101001101

    010010010100000101001101 Fapstronaut

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    Well if you say so, I havent really followed this drama that much. Just kinda jumped in with my pack of popcorn and my Michael Jackson gif:
    [​IMG]
    But while I was eating popcorn I lost the gif... I think I ate it.

    Really wanna have no part in this or take any sides. If it were up to me everybody would just get along. Well, unless you count being against misogyny and/or misandry as taking a side; don't like either. And no, silly jokes does not count, even in a thread like this. There is real sexism and then there is obviously harmless stuff like that. If you can't take a dumb joke I don't know what to tell you... :emoji_face_palm:
    I agree it's stupid joke. But it is funny to me, so who cares...
    Poorly timed? Well, I grant you that. But then again, when do I make it other than now? A few hours from now when this thread gets deleted and there is nothing left to make it about? Haha.
    You seriously compare this dumb forum drama to Nazi Germany? :emoji_face_palm:
    I don't see how that comes across like that at all. Literary never said that either. Obviously you can have compassion and stand up for what you believe is right. All I am saying is that if you choose anger instead of compassion you lose your rational mind and what is left here is rage and upset. You being overly sensitive about a dumb joke kind of proves my point even. You care about this thing a lot. Because it hurts you to be treated that way and to see others treated that way. So you get angry. Tell me, is it a good feeling to be angry? And how constructive it is? Maybe some people believe that you can fight fire with fire... I don't know about that. If you think dropping down to those people's level is where you win then I guess good luck with that...
     
  2. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    K, so as I predicted, you think this is all a joke for entertainment, so you clearly don't understand how serious this is. Good to know.
     
  3. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I'm not doing that. I'm calling out an important issue. If you legitimately can't see the difference between the things I've said here, and the things these guys have said here, then you need to get your eyes checked.

    The problem here is that you don't see sexism on nofap as a big enough problem to talk about. So you think we are all just "bitching" about something silly. It's not silly. It's important. And there is a massive difference between women getting a bit angry while trying to take down sexism, and men getting angry and hurling personal attacks over being called out on their sexism. Again, if you don't see the difference there, then I don't know what to tell you.
     
  4. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I mean, do you think Martin Luther King Jr. needed to "calm down"? Or Rosa Parks? She should have just taken a seat and not gotten so angry? That's BS. Some things deserve a bit of anger, things like racism and sexism for example. And no, anger doesn't feel great, but neither does having sexism thrown my way all the time without anyone ever talking about the issue and trying to do anything to stop it. So I'm gonna talk about it. If you think I'm the one in the wrong here by bringing light to a serious issue, then honestly, you are part of the problem.
     
  5. 010010010100000101001101

    010010010100000101001101 Fapstronaut

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    It really is not that serious as you think it is. It's just some dumb forum drama...

    People are aholes on a forum? O my... preposterous! Meanwhile in other places of the world - female genital mutilation, legal rape, etc...

    Have fun with your anger, if that's what you choose. Bless you.

    Cheers! :emoji_v:
     
  6. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Dear @Bragi,

    I have not yet had the pleasure to address you on the forum. I hope my message reaches you before you are banned.

    First, I am a man. Socially, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and physically.

    Second, nofap exists for everyone— but everyone in it is not an addict. Know that the dynamics change when women are involved and I argue that change is needed and good.


    The first part of this is 3rd grade level to solving problems with GI Joes...

    Bro, Did YOU “just get your shit together ?” Do you even need nofap? Was getting your “shit together “ a males-only adventure ?

    Sounds kinda lame to be honest. I don’t even need a label to know that. Most humans in the planet don’t live in gender-silos... unless you are a nun, monk, or in a compound in the Middle East ....so online this expectation is ludicrous. It’s because of your limited ideological views women in nofap want to retreat beyond the gender line. Which is sad again.

    3. You sound single ... the world of Married fapstranaughts and SOs would eat you alive. That’s the world I describe in my first few days here.

    4. Very few women on this site venture outside of the partner bubble and you clearly don’t understand why—- but your comments tell us exactly why.

    5. As for my personal credentials. I am a former porn addict and recovering sex addict. My dad is still married to my mom for 40+ years. He’s an ex-marine. Don’t tell me shit About “just be a man”, I know how to be a man— if that means to hold your emotions, don’t cry, be a bully or a punk. Yeah, I can probably bench press you. If being a man is like a Romeo to get women... i don’t hide the facts ... i have women all over the planet, zero difficulty getting them.

    What I NOW mean by being a man is showing a vulnerable side , exposing our weakness our fragility, protecting a family , my kids, my health, reconciling with my wife and breaking up with multiple girlfriends. Developing a authentic relationship that laughs at attempts at seduction or jealousy because I’m filled with self and Holy love for my body and my marriage. That’s maturity and being a man.

    I don’t know about the “army of men” I’m nobody’s bitch; but Neither should you be one. Just because women don’t speak up in your country does not mean they cannot speak up everywhere.

    listen lil bro, I am here for you too. If we treat each other like we are here to heal, then we will get along a lot better. As the community grows, we too must grow. We can’t expect the small town mentality to keep us close.
     
    Castielle, Evig Faith and recon117 like this.
  7. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    (I've not read the whole thread, sorry if I'm derailing it or repeating things.)

    I'd be sorry to see you go. We often don't agree (I think you are misreading feminists, for example), but I always find your posts thoughtful and personally useful. Please do not go.

    @IGY and others have said this already, but why do you spend so much time in this sub-forum? You are not the first person I admire who has left because this sub-forum made their blood boil. It does mine too. So I turn away. I cannot find the post (I'll keep looking) but I remember you once posting that you found the Rebooting in a Relationship sub-forum frustrating and that was why you hang out in Off Topic (sorry if I'm misrepresenting that post). I didn't understand that.

    It is tempting to fight misogyny when it crops up, and to report the more egregious examples, but a forum for porn addicts and people trying to stop masturbating is inevitably going to have more than its fair share of nutters. I am impressed that you try so diligently to fight their mistaken views, and that you remain calm and logical while you do. My attempts have been disasters (as you've seen!) But if that is taking an emotional toll on you then step away from the problem sub-forums. Do you remember this XKCD cartoon?

    [​IMG]

    We've lost others over the last six months who felt like real cornerstones of the community (waves at @Kenzi & @Queen_Of_Hearts_13) it would be sad if you went too.

    I would suggest going back to basics and asking yourself the question "What do I need from this site?". Be selfish. Do you need another opportunity to fight prejudice, or do you need support to build a life for yourself free of porn (and masturbation)? I don't want to end on a harsh note but your last journal post was in October 2018! Since then you have written hundreds of posts in Off Topic. How is that furthering your recovery?

    Imagine you are talking to a Christian friend who is struggling with masturbation and pornography, you tell her about this site and she wants to join. Now write down the tips you would give her on how to get the most out of the community here. What would you advise her?
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2019
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  8. grungeisinfinite

    grungeisinfinite Temporarily Suspended

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    Doesn't seem you know, since a femal has to stand up for you.
     
  9. Two_Brains

    Two_Brains Fapstronaut

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    Your spirit is broken, I hope you find some wisdom and find the good path.
     
  10. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Yep. I recall complaining that another thread is entitled “milf” does the exact same thing. I hate that term as for some it’s bound to be a trigger as well , not to mention perpetuating a crude sexist stereotype.
     
    Evig Faith likes this.
  11. grungeisinfinite

    grungeisinfinite Temporarily Suspended

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    Can you please explain this to me with your two brains? I want to understand. How my spirit being broken and saying the truth connect together? I don't get it.
    It seems I have to repeat millions of times - we all are different - different views, opinions and stuff and I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying there's no connection. My spirit feels more than okay. Well, yeah. Not much wisdom when you're 19 and school had ended like half year ago, but anyways... I see things this way - Man should be able to stand up for himself. He doesnt have to depend on woman or something. He started crying about being bullied by women (not literally, but quite that way) and was thankful that a female stood up for a man. Seriously? In my culture it doesn't seem such a normal thing. Maybe for you it's always been normal, but not for me.
     
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  12. grungeisinfinite

    grungeisinfinite Temporarily Suspended

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    And I'm not forgeting my roots, my culture just because of a forum :) I'm not gonna change something that my family and culture had put in my head. Of course, I'm groving older and somethings I do in different way than they're supposed to be done, but roots be roots. They are there for a reason. I have my Gods, you have yours (and not literally) and that's the way it is.
     
  13. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    lol.
    Did You want to add a “nanny nanny booboo” to that profound quip?


    There’s nothing wrong with women sticking up for men.

    the fact remains, you are not comfortable being trounced, trash talked, or bitch-slapped unless it’s a guy who does it. The first time you have a female boss you will have a rude awakening I guess.

    you are likely to call me a homo next to prove how manly you are...

    damnWhere’s that popcorn eating gif when you need it ??
     
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  14. Two_Brains

    Two_Brains Fapstronaut

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    It’s about not seeing gender, race nationality, wealth or any other label but an individual and not to make sweeping statements. I can’t tell if you are ignorant or stupid but it equates to the same thing when you speak so boldly.

    Dude, do some travelling and learn about this world and the people in it. At the moment you just don’t get it.
     
    One Mic, Lilla_My, Castielle and 3 others like this.
  15. Wow this gotten over 7 pages long , looks like everbody has an opinion
     
  16. 010010010100000101001101

    010010010100000101001101 Fapstronaut

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    I ate it.
     
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  17. grungeisinfinite

    grungeisinfinite Temporarily Suspended

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    Oh wow. Really think so? Dudes wouldn't bitch slap me, believe me :)
    And once again I will stick to my shit. It sounds immature, sounds childish - but I see things this way - men should get their shit together :)
    Oh wow, females were not nice to you and now you feel really thankful cause some female stood up for you. I'm repeating myself, cause... It's just stupid and that's it! Me and my culture - we believe that a man is the one who stands up for someone, that females are the ones that have to be protected. You can keep telling how you can bench press me and get all the women in the world - you still seem to be weak for me. And if you don't really care, just stop replying :)
     
  18. grungeisinfinite

    grungeisinfinite Temporarily Suspended

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    That's what I'm talking about! Shit that I say may seem ignorant to you, cause it's what I've learned from MY CULTURE so far, and in your culture it just seems ignorant or something. Understand? Do some travelling and realise - we are all different :D That's why you feel right and you think I'm wrong and on the other way!
     
  19. Sawako Kuronuma

    Sawako Kuronuma Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    I am calm and rational, but I don’t and won’t feel compassion towards folks who put others down and are just horrible people. I’m not the type to give everyone compassion, I mean as an example look at @Bragi, he just recently made a thread saying how he’s got all these problems and he knows he’s just an outright arsehole, what does he do after that? Comes over here and personally attacks @Castielle and is just rude, why does he deserve any compassion for being a bloody prick to others?

    The point I was trying to make with what I have to currently go through is no matter how a person is struggling or having issues in their life, nothing is justifiable. It comes down to that individual, you are 100% capable of choosing between being an arsehole or not, that is most certainly a fact.
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2019
  20. Two_Brains

    Two_Brains Fapstronaut

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    Travel and you will see this not to be the case. Life’s journey is about learning and often undoing the lies we have been told!
     
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