I'm starting to cold approach girls

You will learn a lot about yourself and what you want, that's for sure.

 

You went out sarging! Niiiice.

 

One thing I found that really helps is being “outcome independent”. You take a lot of pressure off that way.

 

I love hearing this! WTG. As opposed to yet another post reading "I don't know how to approach strange women! What should I do?" (Nothing wrong with that, mind you, if that's where you are with this.)

I hit up a woman making a drink at 7-11 last night on the way to the gym and, wow, she came right back at me with a smile and the bit of banter. Tiny little petite cutie, nothin' to her, and what a smile. She did give me a little encouragement by making eye contact, twice, before it just came out of me, "Hey, there! How ya doin'?" And blah blah blah, back and forth we went.

She had a boyfriend waiting in the car outside as it turned out, so that was the end of that, but, boy, did it feel good to have a little cutie bat her eyes at me, etc.

Not to hijack your thread...

I'm gonna put this experience in the thread I made last night after a date backed out with less than 3 hours notice.

But rock on!

 

i need to start approaches myself, work though the fear i feel, sine i dont want the guilt of not doing it afterword

 

How do I get rid of the fear of rejection to do this consistently like how would you even start to break ice

 

try "hi my name is ____"

 

Simply think to yourself “If this girl rejects me, so what? She is obviously not the right girl for me if she doesn’t want me as I am, so I’m better off rid of her now, before I’ve invested any emotional attachment into her, than later if she decided to go out with me for a while and then abandon me for some other guy who she liked more.”, because it’s true, if she isn’t into you, she’s never going to be, and you’re obviously better off looking for a girl who is into you.

A quote from one video (I forget which one) that’s a great one to remember is ‘You are the prize’. If you’re a good, kind, respectable, respectful and honest chap then this is 100% true, and if she doesn’t see that in you then that’s her loss, not yours.

And with regards to breaking the ice, @Discerning_Dubearte is right, a simple “Hello there, how are you?” is the best way to do it, because it shows her you’re friendly and polite, and interested in her wellbeing. Ignore PUA tactics because they’re for womanisers who just want sex, and if you try to be one of those when you’re not, you’ll just look a fake, nobody likes a fake man except a fake woman, and you don’t want to go out with a fake woman, do you?

 

@Vanquisher12 i wouldn't discredit pua tactics, if you're using them in a way to better yourself to whatever your goals may be. I am not proficient with progressing through a conversation, im good with flirting and making people laugh but beyond that i tend to overthink and psyche myself out. I dont buy the "just be yourself" mentatlity, i think thats one of those "half-truth" phrases, yes i should be confident in who i am but there is only so much i should show

 

Personally I feel I can better myself without resorting to PUA tactics, but I imagine it all depends on what sort of relationship you’re after and what sort of person you are. If you’re more extroverted and good at thinking of things to say on the spot, and you’re looking for a short-term largely sexual relationship, perhaps PUA will serve you well enough. Personally I’m looking for a sincere, committed, long-term relationship (with sex in it, but not until I feel the bond between myself and a prospective girlfriend is strong enough for us to remain loyal to one another). I’m also more of an introverted and conscientious man, so PUA just isn’t for me.

I agree the ‘be yourself’ mentality isn’t entirely the best attitude, because if who you are as it is isn’t getting you any partners, that’s not going to be enough. Personally I prefer a ‘be the best version of yourself’ mentality. Always be true to yourself and don’t be anything you’re not, but don’t hesitate to work on improving on the parts of you that are not up to scratch, because that shows you care enough about yourself to want to improve.

I seem to largely be the opposite to you, I am pretty good at going beyond the surface level of a conversation, but still need to work on getting to know my flirting style. But I simply see that as the next phase of my self-improvement, and I have the drive to keep initiating conversation with women to practice this, as well as conversing with people in general to keep my existing skills up.

 

Think less, never ask yourself any question that starts with "what if". Just go and do literally whatever, you're talking to a stranger, it either works out or it doesn't (and you'll both forget about it then).

 

The point i think i was trying to make is that, at least for me the suggestions they make are the first exposure to actual advice on how to approach women. I didnt seem to have much encouragement or advice from my father or my friends side from the "just stop being a pussy" attitude. Im not saying go out and "slay" it with all them that you can or making a judgement on those that try to do that. Im simply saying understanding how a conversation can go could be beneficial. At least thats what i see as a postive.