Is okay to healthy masturbation without porn?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Whitemyger34, Jan 22, 2019.

  1. So you think masturbation can be healthy? What about the anxiety or fatigue it causes among other negative effects?
     
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  2. What do you mean?
     
  3. You know, guys come on here complaining that masturbation even in moderation leaves them feeling tired or socially anxious and stuff. Heck, I've experienced it myself... sometimes after I've rebooted for a while and decide to masturbate, I end up feeling really tired and need to sleep for a while before I can start feeling OK again.
     
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  4. I understand that some people may have this problem, but the op specifically asked about moderation and what is "ok". I was just answering his question based on my experience, like you. Is there anything specific you think I have wrong?
     
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  5. What is BRS? And why do you think you need to find a way to incorporate healthy masturbation into your life? Didn't you join this site in order to quit forever?
     
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  6. https://www.oregon.gov/dhs/children/providers-partners/brs/pages/index.aspx

    BRS is a form of intervention used to treat people with behavior problems. It utilizes a safe space, treatment goals, and specific and general issue counseling, usually in groups.

    I don't think it is necessary to incorporate masturbation itself, but if you are going to, it might as well be healthy, right? I think you probably don't think there is such a thing in your experience, but I know there is a way it can be healthy.

    Originally, I joined this site because I felt guilty about my fantasies and how much I masturbated. That was 3 years ago. Today, I don't feel that way at all (except to critique myself) and I find masturbation to be enjoyable. Today, I joined because I wanted to share what I learned in those three years, which is that masturbation is not unhealthy, but how we feel about it.

    Edit: how we MAY feel about it. If there is a way masturbation can be healthy for us, and we enjoy it, then why not? That's my belief.
     
  7. OK fair enough, to each his own but do you think it's healthy to incorporate porn in your moderate use of masturbation?
     
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  8. Whitemyger34

    Whitemyger34 Fapstronaut

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    I haven’t any stress or anxiety. I was clothes on and watched fail epic games on YouTube while my penis suddenly turned hard on with no reason. I tried ignored it but still stay on. I gave up and played it while think about my friend and I hooked up few days ago. Yea i masturbruted myself. I have no problem to masturbate without watch porn. That’s good thing because I don’t need to depend on porn. I used to hard on to porn before joined this nofap site. Now, Porn have no control me. I have more self-control. I didn’t watch porn since almost 3 months ago. When I thought about porn, I will cut it off immediately.
     
  9. I think porn is never okay. It creates a separation from empathy, which creates guilt. I believe fantasies involved with having empathy are healthy, and as long as you are able to do that with the material inside your head, you're all good. A lack of empathy is why thinking about girls or guys we don't know presents problems in that we feel bad about masturbating. At least, ime it does.
    Self control is all about self discovery, not self discipline. Self discipline is just demonstration. Try thinking about why you decided to masturbate.

    As far as a rogue penis goes, there are number of causes:
    1. Do you need to take a piss?
    2. Is anything stimulating it physically?
    3. Do your thoughts contribute to this?
    4. Is there something about your experience you like particularly, even if not sexual? Sometimes being hard does not mean we want sex.
    If not those, then maybe it's physiological? I would see a doctor or a counselor if it continues to happen without any known cause.
     
  10. AddictMaster

    AddictMaster Fapstronaut

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    If you’re attempting to remove porn-induced fetishes from your brain then I’d say healthy masturbation to ordinary vanilla fantasies (without porn of any kind) is actually a good thing. As long as it’s on rare occasions, you’re rewiring your brain to what it naturally finds arrousing. This way you get the “superpower” benefits of nofap along with it. Although, I’ve heard many say that porn-induced fetishes have been cured by nofap alone. As long as the general progress is upwards, I’d say masturbation, on occasion, without porn can be healthy
     
  11. Whitemyger34

    Whitemyger34 Fapstronaut

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    What I suppose to do when my penis suddenly turn hard on by itself? I don’t watch porn or any nude pictures. I tried ignored it but still stay on while I watched funny video on YouTube or something. It bother me for some reasons. If I had morning wood, will leave it alone.

    I think I decided to masturbate because I didn’t succeed to stay hard on long when I sex with my friend. I seem my penis always on and off during sex. I haven’t any stress or worrying. I have no idea what’s going on. I try figure something issue. maybe anxiety... don’t know.

    1. Nope. I never thought that I take a piss when Penis turn hard on.
    2. Yes, I do but I don’t think I have any stimulating that time.
    3. No, I watched funny games video and laughed. So I didn’t think about anything nude or something.
    4. No. This was my first time since I stopped watch porn and fap.

    When I stopped watch porn or mastication to porn, I had wet dreaming, turn hard on in middle of work, hard on by flirting , etc.. but didn’t work during sex. :(
    I think it’s problem with psychology and not physical.
     
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  12. Okay first off what is happening to you is normal. Porn may kill your libido, but so does anxiety.
    You said anxiety, and that sounds exactly right. My first time having sex I was so anxious I couldn't get it up at all almost. It seems like, once you felt better, your body then responded with an erection because it felt safe enough to do so and was still aroused, if after trying to have sex. Plus, from what you said, you had lingering sexual feelings.
    Any of that seem right?
     
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  13. Whitemyger34

    Whitemyger34 Fapstronaut

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    I hardly think about what you said. How you know I had lingering sexual feelings? I try understand because I don’t see any what I said.

    You are right about anxiety. I tried focus only on my friend’s body. Kiss and body contact made me turn hard on. After that few minutes, it always on and off. How I can avoid anxiety? I need out of my head.
     
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  14. It was just a guess. You never confirmed it though.

    Well, anxiety is normal. It just tells you that for the time being you aren't fully comfortable with the situation. You can do two things:
    One, spend more time thinking about your friend in a healthy manner. Try having vanilla fantasies ie fantasies not involving sex. Try to make it as emotionally connected as possible. This will both make you more comfortable with the idea of being with them and increase your arousal to things about them besides things involving sex.

    Two, talk to your friend. Just about anything. Develop the connection you have with them and the understanding between you. This will help ease the nervousness about pleasing your partner.

    Remember, move at your own pace. Don't think that have to get it right just to prove yourself. That will lead you down the road of objectification.

    Instead, talk with your friend about your problem and see if they can help. Getting them involved will increase the amount of trust between you and hopefully decrease the anxiety. I'm not saying tell everything, just maybe that you're anxious and need support. I stress this.

    Good luck. Hope you find any of that useful.
     
    ReclaimedLife likes this.
  15. If he wanted to masturbate, he would! You really aren't making much sense. Either you want stimulation, in which case PMO or excessive MO will defeat you; or you don't, in which case the questions are moot.

    You need to decide for yourself. You have all the facts. You know the consequences. It's your life to live or to screw up. It's your decision.
     
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  16. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    I dont know you. But its depending on the person. If you would know for a fact that you would never be with any person in your life, then go ahead, masturbate. As vigerously as you want. I would still say that abstaining from porn is better, because people just use porn instead of dealing with their actual problems.

    And you forget that life is still unpredictable. While we can influence a great deal of it, we absolutely cannot do so with everything. You just think that someone thinks he or she will be single forever. Only life will tell whether that was correct in the end.

    BUT

    Why would anyone purposely throw something away that makes them have a better time later? Doing Nofap will bring anyone so many other benefits, like having more strenght while working out, generally more energy during the day and anyone can communicate with people much easier and have much better conversations because they are just more present in the moment.

    I would personally recommend it for everyone, because i dont see the negative aspect of it.

    The benefits of NoFap transition into the everyday life, and often are combined with going to the gym more regularly and also starting to do cold showers.

    Its never "just NoFap" that makes the difference. Its a change in lifestyle that changes everything.

    If you allow yourself to make your own happiness your priority, you are not forced to do anything.
    It depends how strong we become in our mind. Its never about the woman in the end. Its about your own happiness. She is supposed to be a compliment to your life, not a necessity.
    If you get to the point where you literally dont care whether your dick is up or not when you want to have sex, thats when you have won the game, and chances are, its going to be up at that point anyway.

    Sex is more about being in the present than literally anything else on the planet.
    Being in the present makes or breaks it for both parners.

    Listen to your heart and body, they will tell you exactly what you want and need at that time.
     
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  17. Capt. U

    Capt. U Fapstronaut

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    Simply, if it does not lead to porn then yes. Also if it does not become addictive the point where you cannot control yourself.
     
  18. I have this friend that thinks that masturbating is healthy and that nofap is cult-like. He thinks that all the guys holding in their load to the point of pain is unhealthy and he doesn't like the fact that his ejaculate will (eventually) expell from his manhood on it's own.
    He compares it to holding in your bodily functions. He also views it as a form of self harm to hold in your ejaculation to the point of pain...

    I tried to debate him, but it was kind of a hard debate and especially because I'm not a guy, I don't know what the pain is like nor all the embarassment it comes with to ejaculate into your pants, lets say, in broad daylight, without your control...

    I know that masturbating isn't a need...but in a way it does seem to come to a point where I think it is needed (if you don't want to ejaculate on yourself in an embarassing scenario) since your sperm expels itself (as it becomes vital for it to be expelled from your body)....

    then I started thinking that maybe if you guys weren't addicts, you could masturbate (just) once when the pressure is too much to relieve yourself..but not to pornography or anything harmful, just to a fantasy or the feel..like a holy fantasy :b
    but..you guys are addicts which I brought up to him and I said if yall were to masturbate to stop the hurting then it would start a cycle of relapse with maybe chaser days and then who knows how long it takes to accomplish a day 1 or get to day 7 ..and it just isn't plausible for addicts to masturbate when in pain to release a load..

    and then
    He compared it to food addicts...
    but obviously his comparisons to bodily functions and food addicts doesn't mesh well to sexuaal addicts...
    we wont die if we dont masturbate...but we could die/cause damage if we didnt eat or if we held in our bodily functions..

    Idk. What if we have a son who is in pain when he is 11/12 or whenever his balls are full..
    what are people with sons supposed to tell them? "Dont touch it. One day the pain will pass, you'll cum in ur pants. Feel better soon"
    ?

    :oops:
     
  19. To my knowledge, it doesn't hurt. I've never heard of that til just now.

    In my opinion and from what I've seen, Nofap isn't about eliminating masturbation at all. It's about controlling urges and taking back your life. If that requires permanent abstinence, then so be it. Not everyone can and will enjoy masturbation, and the idea that it is not necessary usually goes to helping us not miss it, not to point out that we are addicts. I myself am not addicted to masturbation, but I am addicted to pornography. I don't watch it at all and haven't in a couple years. That said, nofap is not a cult because no one is forcing participation or squashing members' beliefs. It is simply there for people with varying degrees of a problem, and people who are very adamant about keeping themselves and others like them in check just so happen to be a part of it.

    In regards to a potential twelve year old with a painful scrotum, depending on his maturity and our relationship, I would definitely educate him on how the body works. I would think that such condition might signal that puberty is well underway and that he is going to need context for all the changes he is going through, anyway. It's my responsibility as a parent to keep him out of the dark about such things, unless I figure he's got it handled. Either way, I will always try to help him out in whatever ways possible while still respecting his boundaries, though sometimes that may be impossible.
     
  20. Retentionman

    Retentionman Fapstronaut

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