Journal for Self Evaluation

The Story of my addiction

I was 15, when I watched my first P. Before that first P, I watched a lot of nude images, I watched FTV swimwear models, etc. It's been 7 years and now I am 22 that I am addicted to that stuff.​

Things I am suffering now

• Addicted to adult sites, especially chat sites
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Panic attacks
• Low self esteem
• Social anxiety
• ED
• Laziness
• Less courage
• Seeing some girls as just body parts
• Thinking bad about the unknown girls
• Negative thoughts
• Less strength physically and mentally
• Lean body

What if I can change

What if I can change and become the man that I want? I am just asking this question to myself. I am not going to give up. Everything which is happening to me is because of the addiction that I have created by a long time.
I want to change for my beloved.
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My love is my motivation

Now I have a purpose to live. I want to protect my love. I want to whatever it takes. Because I am not the man who want to live a life like this. I want to be in a good position, mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. Even if I loss my beloved, I will not give up. Because, if I loss It's only because I couldn't do anything to protect my love.
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I will win and help the people like me to win this battle

 

Hello,
What do you mean by things you love?