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Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by 0111zerozero11, Nov 11, 2018.
Thank you; stand tall
I have my game face on.
Bring it, boys
Praying for you today.
5 years ago, I would have been intimidated & a blubbering mess.
Not today, Satan, not today.
Your girl has apparently grown immensely in the past couple of months. I held my own & then some as his attorney hurled heinous accusations/questions at me.
Are you melodramatic? Do you think you're crazy? Aren't you a little narcissistic? Are you sure you were traumatized? Maybe your paranoid. How many men have you slept with? Do you use toys to masturbate? Why did you threaten to call the cops when you found the hidden camera? Why haven't you told all of your friends? Humiliation & shame, you say? Why are you humiliated? Because your basic human rights were violated? How were those violated? You think you were violated because you were filmed in your own home?? Are sure you're not the crazy one?????????????
I took no shit from him or his attorney. No one will dehumanize me ever again & I made that very apparent today.
Couldn't have done it without the support here. Thanks to all for helping a wounded bird start learning how to fly on her own.
I kicked ass & I'm so proud of myself.
The truth will always set you free.
I felt all the prayers
Awesome! I'm glad you held your own. The self content of meeting your own standards and being confident in that is priceless.
I really regret not blaring Calm as a Bomb with my fist held high as I left.
Maybe in my next life
I totally had to look it up. I thought you meant this.
I love the shit out of Breakfast Club.
I had to.
You are a survivor and you'll pull through!
For sure! I have 2 littles counting on it
A demo for the song
“Beware of Darkness”
Seems a helpful song of experience
Warning as a kind uncle
helping steer our way.
of record companies...)
I once found this forum a way for me to have a safe place to learn & be open about my experience with sex addiction. It has been a saving grace in many of my darkest times, as no one on the outside of this addiction really understands what it's like to be caught in the crosshairs of it. It was a place where I truly felt that by baring my soul & having no filter, I could help others while helping myself.
Unfortunately, an abused & traumatized spouse of a sex addict can't find safety anywhere.
I have been letting too many things slide on this forum for far too long. If I let it continue, I will be a hypocrite in my desire to finally give myself a voice & stand up for myself against toxic people. A voice that has been silenced by fear, control, & manipulation for over a decade. Not anymore, for I have absolutely nothing to be scared of & I will not let this go on.
I am being harassed on here by users (or a user with multiple personalities). It's almost more than harassment at this point; it's borderline stalking. These users were closly tied to my ex when he came on here seeking "help" in July of 2018. I'm not sure if these users are actually 1 person helping my husband psychologically abuse me via passive aggressive stalking, or if this user(s) is just that infatuated with me that they've now started stalking me.
The weirdness started around Christmas & continues, getting worse with each day I post in my journal. Again, I don't know if this is the workings of my ex or if there's someone infatuated with me on a really scary level, but they win.
This is what real abuse looks like, guys. I am being forced from the only place I felt I could be open & honest, because there are really really sick people in the world.
Because I give no fucks anymore at this point, the user(s) absolutely re-traumatizing an already traumatized human are @Lavrans @GhostWriter @The Black Dog . My ex is @Tryingforfamily .
I'm 100% positive they/them/him? will play victim, & that's fine. Whoever is involved with running someone who has had their entire world flipped upside down off of a place they sought safety, will have to take that up with God. My conscience is clear.
Well, since you've called me out by name...
My first revelation that something was going on with you that was mysterious was December 30th when I received a message from, @The Black Dog (since you have openly accused him as well) that began with...
...and ending with...
I responded with...
...and ending with...
When I reached out to you to inquire as to what this was all about, your response to me was...
Really, you must ask me the first time to even ask me again. But whatever. I didn't know what had precipitated it, nor did I care. You set a boundary. If there is one very important thing I've learned about this addiction is respect for boundaries. Thus, you haven't heard from me since (until now when you so eloquently accused me openly and publicly of being a participant in this conspiracy of yours).
After you sent me this message, On January 1, you followed up with another private message to me that went like this (you know, after you said "...Leave me the fuck alone...") ...
Like the previous message, I didn't dignify it with a response either. But please allow me to share with you my thoughts on it. I don't give a shit if you contact the Garland police, nor do I give a shit if you contact the police in the town that you live in. I don't even know who the fuck the Garland police is anyway. And even if you did contact them, NONE of the dots will connect to me because I have never stalked you, nor anyone else, nor will I ever. So knock yourself out and contact whosoever the fuck you want to.
I also recall a time when you suspected another individual of being your husband a few months ago that you brought to my attention. And maybe it is your husband that is stalking you if someone is indeed stalking you. Maybe it is someone entirely different. Who knows. I know it isn't/wasn't me. I'm so very reasonably certain (99% at least) that it wasn't @The Black Dog, as he and I had dissected it when it unfolded and became completely unglued and we both came to the conclusion that either somebody was stalking you or you were being catfished. Either way, both of us, consistent in our post mortem evaluation of the events that unfolded are satisfied that neither of us had anything to do with it, and both of us are heart broken that somebody is taking advantage of the vulnerability of a Betrayed Partner in here when everyone is here to seek help. Whosoever would do such a thing is a pretty fucked up sickopath (I made that word up).
I hate to see you leave on account of someone doing this to you. I'd also love to find out who is doing this to you. I have respected your boundary to leave you alone. If that's what you want, then don't PM me, don't Tag me, don't Reply to me, and don't call me out on unsubstantiated claims that are just not true, for I won't stand for it. I refuse. All along, following the events that unfolded, and they are certainly welcome to corroborate it if they so choose, the only thing I have said about you, about this, to anyone, is "I don't know what's going on in your life for you to feel so threatened (paraphrasing)" and "I hope and pray that you find peace in all of this shit that is unfolding (also paraphrasing)." Never once have I spoken badly of you in spite of the false accusations you have laid upon me. If this is how you wish to proceed, leave me out of it, as you have so eloquently stated to me, "...leave me the fuck alone..." If/when you ever decide I am not the enemy anymore, and you no longer want to accuse me of that which I have not done, I'll be happy to resume helping you. Only this time, it is I who will be on guard, as I cannot trust you not to do something similar again. Until such time, we really have nothing else to say to one another.
I think you crossed a line on this forum by calling people out by name publicly when you don't have any proof of anything. If you had proof, you would need to take it up with Moderation Team so that they could take appropriate action. Otherwise, you are conducting what amounts to a public lynching of four people out of desperation.
Don't know how your conscious could possibly be clear, but mine certainly is. Whatever you do going forward, it is my hope and prayer that you find peace and that God walks with you by your side and lifts you up so that you can navigate the shit storm you find yourself in and live a happy healthy life. You deserve better.
Other than that, please get some help. Have a blessed day however you wish to proceed.
Woah! I am so sorry that you have been attacked and harassed here on NoFap.
If you do leave this community, I just wanted to say that your letters and your writings have been helpful to me--and many others I'm sure. For me, it has shed light on how a betrayed spouse processes things and views things.
I have heard good things about bloom for women..as another site to get support.
I wish you the best as you continue to grow stronger through life's struggles.
Screen shot taken from the "How To Use NoFap.com" guide.
Only this feature doesn't work worth a damn. You can ignore someone else, and it prohibits you from seeing anything they post. It presents problems when they post a Reply to something you posted (because they continue to see what you Post), and you have no idea that they did so. Consequently, the conversation becomes extremely awkward because the natural flow of the discussion is missing key elements for the User that Ignored them. It's why I do not use it anymore. The only way this feature would be useful was if you Ignore someone, not only do you not see what they post, but they shouldn't be in any position to see what you posted either such that they wouldn't have any ability to Reply to it. This feature is USELESS! It is fundamentally flawed in its design and implementation.