Letting go

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Lostneverland, Mar 24, 2019.

  1. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut


    This is just downright insane. You're good. Keep trusting your gut.
  2. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

    I have to know , what was in the box lol
    What I’ve learned about porn addiction and the men when they are IN it . They are so very immature. Like not much emotional intelligence! I have compassion and love for my husband . But I’m starting to learn how to have more for myself .
    I don’t envy the position you are in regarding the house stuff . That’s a lot of work for a woman that is emotionally exhausted ❤️
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Lostneverland

    Lostneverland Fapstronaut

    Lol....in the box was a basket of food goodies. Santa cookies, snowmen cookies, coffee pkgs, hot chocolate mixes, cake and brownie mixes...all six months old. When I opened it I said, “oh, Santa.” he said...oh ya I didn’t see that. Of course he didn’t ,..he didn’t even know what was in the box. (I shake my head)
    I still haven’t heard from his wonderful new friend who has our best interest at heart,(wink)
    As for the amount of work to do...I can hire an auction house to come in and empty the buildings. Problem is he owns stuff too and until I have it in writing that I can dispose of everything as I see fit I’m bound by law to work with him , kinda sorta I think! I’ll find out legally what I can and can’t do in a week or so.
    Yes , love and protection of one’s self...first and foremost. That’s all I have to do..is look out for me and my best interests. He keeps asking me what’s going to happen after 29 days...I’ve replied with I don’t know...what’s going to happen? NO RESPONSE!
    He said he would do anything to get us back together...I said, alright write out a plan of what everything is that you will do? He said, tell me what you want! I said, no put yourself in my position and figure it out!
    ARG...bad, very bad after school movie.
  4. Sadgirl

    Sadgirl Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    yet he can't give you his cell phone, stay away from other women, or commit to honesty. This addiction is horrid. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this when all seemed so hopeful just a few months ago. I really don't know if many men can be saved from this addiction-the stories of redemption are so few and far between. I feel like they live in secrecy and lies for so long that it becomes a woven part of their souls. I think the adrenaline they get from lying and being in secret (even if not acting out) serves to give them a high. I could be wrong of course, but these are just my observances 2 years in. I hope you continue to watch his feet, not his words and that you protect yourself instead of saving him. Go out on the town (with me!) and have fun. Flirt. Feel womanly and desired again. These men just steal our femininity and feelings of worthiness. It's abuse.
    hope4healing and Lostneverland like this.
  5. Lostneverland

    Lostneverland Fapstronaut

    Hey Sadgirl...ya I was hopeful too a couple of months back...I’m not sure if the SA step one or the therapist opened up his memory bank and that’s what’s tossing him over the edge or if it’s a mid life crisis, or if it’s a personality disorder , sex addiction, or WTF...but like I said it’s a bad after school movie. I don’t even know who he is anymore and I don’t think he does either.
    He’s changed his call name, so he doesn’t go by what you may have heard him called. He’s changed his phone number. Yup...I don’t know it’s just one shock after another. He’s a heavy duty biker dude now...muscle shirt and all. He has two other women friends in his life now. Both women have Harley’s and he enjoys riding with them. He says he has a hard time keeping up. I asked to see pictures, so he showed me and he looks very happy. So it is what it is....
    I’m taking care of me...best I can, and although my marriage was a sham and an illusion there are some good memories and those are hard. Were they real or just pretend. I’m still in my home until August 15th , if the sale goes through, then I am moving.
    We got married here too...so it makes it challenging. Sometimes as horrible as the last three months have been and all the lies and drama, it feels like I’ve lost my best friend...REALITY CHECK though as Tao Jones would say...this is the true him.
    I hope you guys are doing well and progressing.
    hope4healing likes this.
  6. hope4healing

    hope4healing Fapstronaut

    Hey @Lostneverland just checking to see how you're doing? Hope you're doing ok.
  7. Sadgirl

    Sadgirl Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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