How wonderful it is to hear of your ongoing recovery, particularly in the face of opposition. May God continue to send you healing grace and sustaining grace. Praying for you, your Mom, your wife and all of your family and friends. May you draw each of them closer to Christ through your example of joyful perseverance despite difficulty. May God bless you!
Hello brothers and sisters. I haven't posted in this thread for quite a while so I thought I should give a update. Little by little, this mess that is me is growing and trying to become a better person. Actually, I have not posted a lot in the forum at all lately but I have been in close and nearly daily contact with a group of AP's. I plan to get back to posting regularly on here and especially this group since I was given the privilege to be a group leader. I'll share some thoughts from my recent journey, 1 I've experienced more freedom from PMO while being a member here than I have my entire adult life. I've found this all takes time and I believe to find freedom, you have to stay the course. I'm committed here for the long haul. 2 Nothing changes if nothing changes. I am looking to remove stress from my life. I've run a ecommerce business for years that is very stressful and very up and down. I am strongly considering selling this out and finding new work for my life. I have started a part time job that I am hopeful will become a full time job. I have shared the details with my AP's but do not want to share publicly. I hope everyone understands. 3 I am finding the counter to be of less value. Actually for me, it may be better to get rid of it. I have allowed it to be a source of pride before and do not want to make that mistake again. Also, I do not believe one slip justifies going back to 0. Should that happen to me, I still have all the accumulated skills and wisdom from this journey. To each their own but I may remove the counter before long for the reasons here. That is all for now. Keep pushing forward everyone!
I haven't posted in this thread for a while. Since I am a part of this group I feel like I need to post something here for those who maybe are not active on the main site. While I try to update my journal every day, I will make a weekly summary post on this thread. Feel free to look at my journal for more that is going in my journey if you like. Just some notes for the week. I usually make this post on Sunday but I had to work all day. I stand almost 2-1/2 years into recovery. I had this notion that when I joined this site it would be my quick cure and everything would instantly get better. That did not happen and it was a unrealistic thing to think. In fact, some things have got worse since I started on here but it was because the ball was already rolling downhill. I do feel things leveling out and I believe I am heading the right direction. My ecommerce business has been on a steady slide for years. A lot of it was due to my habits but also a lot due to the events and the economy of the last few years. I feel we are getting things lined out and building it back right now. I started a part time "gig economy" doing deliveries about the time I came on here. I am still doing that and it is working out good. I am making good extra income and I like getting out of the house a bit. I also started another part time job in November. I get to work on average 1-2 days a week at that. It is going well. My ultimate goal is to rebuild our business right and phase out of these other things. I write all of the above to say that for me recovery takes time and it is more than just quitting PMO. It has been exploring the reasons that got me into in and kept me there. Those things had to be explored and corrected. I still work on some of those things to this day. It is about rebuilding all that PMO messed up. I've found that the longer you stay in it, the more damage it does and the more it destroys. Now it is about finding the life I truly want to live and moving into it. This is the part I am putting the most effort into. It takes time. Have a great day everyone!
