My first attempt..

My initial goals: A soft reboot, 2 weeks no PM, which I wish to follow with another 3 weeks of no PMO. Then who knows!

So 7 days into a soft reboot of 2 weeks no PM, (I have actually done no PMO for now) and yesterday I felt quite strange. Hard to put my finger on it, but will try. I felt mildly light headed and little disorientated. In the afternoon I felt like going home and resting, but pushed on through it. I slept well last night. I have had urges but I have been able to distance myself from any counterproductive action, by being strong and a little objective about it, which I put down to daily meditation that I have started strongly with since new year.

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My brief history.. (if you are interested!?)
Have been indulging in P&M since I was about 13 and have hardly had a break or gap of longer than about 4/5 days (crazy to think about it, even though I could be ill, I would still masturbate, seems nuts now!). I have also masturbated on cannabis for years (although not a serious user) and this made the orgasm extra strong, but I also noticed more of a hit to my "powers", and wellbeing overall was not great, not that this stopped me much.

During my 20s (I am in my early 40s now) I was really ill and dropped out of Uni. I had chronic fatigue and depression and stopped enjoying all life's activities that I had once loved. Over 5-7 years and through good nutrition and determination I got my life back together towards my late 20s and with the help of healthy eating, TAO, colonic irrigation, fasting and generally putting my health first (yes I stopped the cannabis too) and managed a significant positive change.

(Age 27) I did try not orgasming about 15 years ago whilst reading and following TAOism (and I avoided porn too), but it did not last more than a 2-3 months, and this was not strict, simply that I would pick and choose my orgasms more carefully, whilst enjoying sex with my girlfriend (some benefit I suppose). She did not mind at first as I could go on for a long time, but eventually she worried I was not enjoying myself, so I relented and went back to normal. Normal included porn & masturabtion too, which then began interfering in my sexual appetite with her, this in hindsight was a crippling blow to an otherwise healthy relationship, which overall lasted 5 years.

My 30s were great overall and by comparison, but I still sensed I could be healthier and achieve more.

Last year was a successful one for me in a personal sense, as I achieved over 220 days no alcohol and cold showers (still going strong) and this reboot will be a new string to my bow for feeling good and enjoying life. I want to enjoy a really great relationship with my girlfriend (4 years together! ), have children and raise a family.
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I am going to Kenya next week to help people build a school and also aid with an elephant corridor, that has been built to assist the animals migrate properly without fear of road traffic (a motorway was built across their path!). I want to use this opportunity away to abstain from PMO and hope that I can handle the challenge, whilst away on foreign shores and in quite odd circumstances, this will be an unknown quantity that I hope I can manage.

I will update here to relate my progress to anyone who is interested..
Thanks for reading my story!

 

Thanks Reptiler for the vote of confidence, appreciate it. I think I can do it and I am lucky that my girlfriend so far has been really supportive. She was again when I gave up drinking socially, she decided to join me, not because I urged her to but because she could relate to the positives about it. So I think she is really helping me too.

It has been 9 days now and I am starting to get into unfamiliar territory again. I quite like this idea though, it seems exciting to see what might be around the corner and what benefits might come about.. lets see..

 

Small Update

I have now been 12 days PM free and 9 PMO, so far pretty good, and haven't felt any strong urges or reasons to break the protocol. I did have a little temptation this morning but managed to stay focused on my ultimate goal.

In terms of how I feel, I haven't noticed massive differences yet, although I have been a little more confident (socially) the last couple of days. I do put some of this down to the placebo affect, however I believe that if should this continues, and if this confidence remains or even expands, then it will signal more than any placebo affect would accomplish.

I am going travelling to Africa in a few days so it will be interesting to see how this affects me and the nofap mission that I'm on.

 

You are right, PMO is not improving anything, and yes it is better to focus on the future and how I will feel and not so much how I feel today.

 

I'm finding this PMO quite straight forward so far, I have no interest in watching porn and I can sense that my body's normal urges are diminishing, I think they will come back healthier in long run. I was getting quite fed up with porn to be honest and was finding it really flat and one dimensional, so reflecting on that now.. I find not having it in my life a lot better emotionally.

I'm going travelling to Africa tomorrow and will be mostly sharing a tent for two weeks with unknown people, in a remote location, so probably ideal for "phase 2" of my reboot. Will probably be my last post for sometime, so I'll see you on the other side..

 

Ok I'm back from Africa and am glad to not see a tent for a while!

I have been true to myself whilst away and was not troubled by PMO whilst away. This was helped by the fact that I was sharing a tent with a friend, so all thoughts of straying off the course were easily put to one side. However since I have come back, I have had some fun with my girlfriend and I have found that I find myself tempted to look at porn. So far I have resisted but it's definitely on my mind.. have to be strong!

 

Thanks Iguana!!!