My Journal - 42, married, two kids

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Hey there!
After >25 years of porn use it's time for me to get rid of this addiction. It started so soft with old Playboy magazines of my father when I was 13 and turned out to be both a safe escape from unpleasant feelings or a reward like it's for others drinking a few beers every night. My wife knows about it and accepted it to the last. For her it was no big deal but as I make my decision on New Year's Eve 2018 to reboot she supported me a lot. Unfortunately after a streak of more than 60 days I gave in to my cravings to watch nudity. Since then, I relapsed a lot of times. But now I'm more willing than ever to manage my final reboot. That's why I would like to share my thoughts and feelings in a personal journal.
Good luck to everyone of you.
 
I like the words "final reboot". That's the one I'm on. But I will say this:

"Final" has a feeling of "fatality" or "death" to it which is great! Consider this the death of an old part of yourself. Be ready to meet the new you on the other side. But don't be afraid to let go of the old you. He will struggle. He will fight. But you must throw him into the abyss and let him go for good.
 
@SuperiorMan95: You are so damn right man! Actually I'm waiting for the necessary superpowers to do so. Today I'm feeling tired and a bit depressed but I remind this as a side effect of the rebuilding of the reward circle. I try to workout a bit to get some dopamine...
 
After a few push-ups, pull-ups and short sling trainer workout I'm feeling much better. My advice to everyone out there!
 
You can do this. Good work on opening up to your wife. Never give up, stay open and you will beat this.
 
Hey everybody!
Haven't been around a few days. I didn't wanna hide but my rebooting journey is actually symptom less. Feeling fine without superpowers or cravings. No so bad I guess. When it's like this I focus on my daily routines and not so much on the process. This includes the forum. I apologize for that.
But: “I'll be back”
 
I'll_be_back said:
Hey everybody!
Haven't been around a few days. I didn't wanna hide but my rebooting journey is actually symptom less. Feeling fine without superpowers or cravings. No so bad I guess. When it's like this I focus on my daily routines and not so much on the process. This includes the forum. I apologize for that.
But: “I'll be back”
Click to expand...
Stay vigilant. Your reboot will not stay symptom-less. Keep up the good work.
 
SuperiorMan95 said:
I like the words "final reboot". That's the one I'm on. But I will say this:

"Final" has a feeling of "fatality" or "death" to it which is great! Consider this the death of an old part of yourself. Be ready to meet the new you on the other side. But don't be afraid to let go of the old you. He will struggle. He will fight. But you must throw him into the abyss and let him go for good.
Click to expand...
I really like this . It's like a constant fight with the evil side for me.
 
Day 14 is running. Everything is still fine. But tonight I entered the next step of my rebooting process. At first, it was like an erotic dream. Then the observing view zoomed out and I realized that I caught myself watching P. Immediately I didn't like what I see. I stopped watching and feeling guilty in the first place till I get it that was dreaming. It was kind of wired but I remember having such dreams in my last streak. I'm curious what's next...
 
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