NEW 90 Day Challenge - Start on Sunday 22nd May 2016

Haha, thanks for the flattering response. That definitely gives me those "With great power, comes great responsibility" vibes. So thanks for that.

Cheers, yo!

 

Just here to say hello (I'm checking in on the website everyday since I'm doing the new habit challenge).
feeling confident lately. Hope it is the same for you. See you guys.

 

Over halfway. That is an accomplishment in itself. Way to go guys. I never thought in a million years I would get this far. I feel better everyday, the cravings are less and less.

 

I'm not sure if you'd consider the following a reset or a relapse.

I've been fap free for 5 days, and feeling more confident about getting past a week without PMO. But since Day 3 I've noticed more and more semen in my urine and I haven't done anything. I'd be going to the toilet more frequently and sometimes there'd be lower pelvic and sometimes light testicular pain of the left gonad. My bladder would fill up, I'd go to the toilet and relieve myself and the pain would mostly go away instantly, the rest a little later.

So today I'm going through my day and the same symptoms appear but my balls are starting to hurt a bit, and were looking both a bit red and retracted inwards. I couldn't take it anymore and I PMO'ed a couple of hours ago, I felt shame and I was going so well but boy do I feel relieved, the pain has subsided.

Is this considered a relapse? But more importantly, what the hell is going on inside me? Are those symptoms a somewhat common occurance and what would you guys suggest as treatment?

 

@theprophet93 About ten days after beginning the challenge, one of my ball hurt me a little (the same kind of pain, you're describing). i suppose that it is due to the fact that you're storing more sperm than usual and that your body is used to produce a lot... No PMO is likely to change the biorythm i suppose. but I'm really not a specialist... Anyway, after I had made love with my girlfriend, and everything went back to normal. And up to now, I didn't have this problem anymore.
Anyway, sorry but I would consider it as a relapse. If you do not, you could be tempted to find excuses in the future. But don't worry, we are not in a race andyou're doing great! I suppose you will be able to go further now (and of course without pain).

 

hey @theprophet93

I agree with StraightEdge. Here is my take on it: For me it would be easier to consider it a relapse because that way I will learn that I won't be able to use that pain situation as a reason to fap again. When you create a possibility of doing something you shouldn't, while staying inside the rules, it gives space for you to abuse this opportunity. It sounds like this: I won't fap for 90 days, as long my balls don't hurt, as long I can have sex with my GF once a week at least, as long I'm happy with my worklife. So I believe it's much easier to see it simple: I won't fap for 90 days, period. If I do, for whatever reason, I relapsed.
It's important to note that this is my view on it, other people may be more comfortable with more flexible rules, and there is nothing wrong with that. I just find easier to do it like this.

Having said that, I also believe that there are levels of relapse. In this case you didn't relapse to porn for example, you didn't fap 10 times for 3 days in a row; you fapped once because of that pain issue and got back on track, which is a good thing. So I probably would keep this counter and maybe create a new one to start out with very defined rules? I don't know, there are so many possibilities, there isn't a rule that works for everyone. Just do what works for you.

The important thing is that you can't cheat or have double interpretation of the rules you created for yourself while doing nofap, and if you actually do have strict rules and you end up breaking them, you can't see it as an end-of-the-world-failure and wind up in a reset induced binge. Get back on track as soon as possible and you'll be fine.

And last thing, look up Blue Balls on google. It hurts but it won't kill you.

 

Hey guys. Just checking in.

Had a stressful day with work and other stuff, and I can say that yesterday was the closest I reached of relapsing in the last 57 days. Went to sleep early and it worked. Definitely glad I didn't give in, but it also serves to show how some triggers are still strong even after almost 2 months.

Cheers

 

Hey @maske . So cool you made it through! lately, I don't have any urges, but I know that it can happen anytime...
@fookeh and @theprophet93 : I hope your doing well.

 

Thanks man! Yeah, I know I would be feeling like shit today, so I'm happy I didn't do it.

I'm also not having those "casual urges" anymore, when you have nothing better to do and feel like having a drink just to feel good; which is a good thing. But what I experienced yesterday was more of a "Fuck it, I hate my job and I might as well overdose on porn, I don't care."
And that scares me a little, because if I had relapsed I would probably have spent the whole day drowning in a porn binge.

I believe depression/outside problems are a bigger red flag for me now than the procrastination/free time alone.

 

For sure, I 100% agree. Compulsion is a (false) way to feel more alive. Compulsion with porn, sex, food, alcohol, drugs... We "use it" because we think that we are somehow incomplete and that we need more of "external stuff" to deal with our depressed thoughts. But compulsion is always due to a lack of consciousness. And pleasure and pain are the 2 sides of a same coin. The more we seek/have pleasure, the more we suffer when we don't have access to it.
I believe that equanimity is the only path to experience a joyful life.

And to go a step further and be a little philosophical, I don't really believe in outside problems. I think that they are all inside. Even the hard events of life (death of a relative, losing your job or your beloved one)... All we experiment is inside.

Anyway. Good luck to deal with your problems.

(sorry for my english, I feel like I don't express myself very correctly )

 

I've been MIA for a few days but I'm hanging in there!

Maske, you are right about depression/personal challenges vs. free time/procrastination. I think we're at a point where that is what we need to be most aware of for our triggers. The proverbial "Ah-screw-it" moments come in all shapes and sizes. People who are trying to eat healthy have a handful of chips and then decide to sabotage their whole diet. Someone who starts an exercise program and misses a workout a week in and never goes back.

I really believe you hit the nail on the head earlier when you were discussing the importance of "rules". No fapping for 90 days - regardless of the circumstances versus justifying fapping if a certain set of criteria are met. That applies to many aspects of life. No smoking for 90 days, no drinking or 90 days, no getting angry for 90 days, and so on. If you had a clear set of rules and expectations defined, then the more likely you are to not only be successful, but deal with the obstacles that will no doubt be in your way.

I have had some close calls and some casual urges but I can manage them - so far. I am weary of the ah-screw-it moment. One of those really stressful days where I just say I don't care about anything at all and just go into a huge porn binge. I feel like where we are at now, we have made it past the free time/procrastination urges. That being said, it's so important to prepare for those days and have an action plan of what we will do when we're hit with those really awful days. What will you do if the perfect storm hits? You're all alone for an evening, you've had the most stressful day since you started this challenge, and you just don't give a shit about anything? What will you do? As I write this, I realize I need to find the answer to this question.

Keep pushing forward! Almost at two months!

 

@StraightEdge I couldn't agree more with you. I used the expression "outside problems" because they happen externally, but as you said, what really matters is how we perceive them from inside. So If you can manage to see something as "Shit happens" instead of "The world hates me", you are on your way to success. Thanks for reminding me that.

About the english, I'm also not a native speaker, so my english is a little weird sometimes too. But your english is pretty good. I actually thought you and @fookeh were both native english speakers.

@fookeh Glad you're still with us. For a moment I really thought you had dropped the ball. Heh, I have the bad feeling that all these guys that posted in this thread didn't manage to keep it up and that's why they stopped posting here. I hope they come back some time.

Regarding the "being prepared" thing, I also haven't thought about it. Specially when talking about work related stuff, daily stress and things like that. This for me is definitely the biggest trigger right now. Maybe find another way to release that? I don't know. Sometimes it also frightens me the idea of getting out of an addiction just to fall inside another. I don't smoke or use drugs on a regular basis, drink every two weeks or less, etc. 6 months ago I started to take music lessons, and that definitely helped me when I feel stressed.

That might be an interesting talk, by the way. What do you guys do to relax/as a hobby?

 

hi,it is really hard to insist these rules everyday.And my question is what should we do after 90 days ,will you masturbate again? or you never masturbate anymore.
although I don't know what will happened after 90 days ,I want join you
I will never masturbate in 90 days
today is 2016/7/15
good luck to you

 

@maske thanks a lot for the compliment! And I can say the same: I thought you were a native english speaker! No need to mention fookeh: his english is perfect and it's obvious his a native speaker.
@fookeh it's good to read you!
@katanaR Honestly, I didn't think about it when I undertook the challenge. After some time, I asked me this very question few times but never had the answer. Today, I deeply know I don't want go back there...

 

Hello @maske, @Joseon2016, everybody - thanks for making the effort to invite me over to this thread. I'm doing well, pumped about hitting the 50% mark soon. Have another free and empty day on my own today; yes - I'm going to get out and do stuff and I'm going to try and see people but I just had this thought that I wanted to share:

There are things you can do today that will make you feel good, there are even things you can do today that will make you feel whole but porn or obsessing about sex really isn't one of them.

 

@maske - if I've had a rough day, I go for a run (I run regularly). For those who don't run, one could also go for a nice walk or take a drive to the coffee shop and blast some music. I have fapped before this challenge because I had a miserable day - more or less did it out of anger. I am waiting for that day to hit where it's been a disaster and I find myself home alone free to do whatever I want. Hopefully I can stick to my guns and get out for a bit. I wish I new how to play an instrument, maybe it's a good time to learn one!

@katanaR - After the 90 days, I'll be making it a "One Year, NoFap" challenge, then the "Don't Fap Down" challenge where I go the rest of my life without it. No p ever again. Just the thought of that still makes me sick to my stomach because subconsciously, I'm still going through withdrawals occasionally even after this long. Ideally, after 90 days, you will see such benefit to your life, you won't want to go back. That's the whole purpose. Focus on the 90 days because it's unrealistic to say "never again". Once you get the 90 days in, then you have the option to go back, but my guess is the majority of folks who complete the 90 days set their sights on never going back.

@stephanD - Glad you're doing well and I completely agree with you!

One thing I've noticed is that I've been having a lot of sex dreams lately, it's really weird. Have you guys ever experienced anything like that?

 

Hey @stephanD Welcome! I'm glad you're here. This thread specifically has helped me a lot in the last couple weeks and I hope we can inspire you to keep going too. These guys aren't playing around.

@fookeh Yeah, I should really get back to a sports/exercise routine. Last year my job made me drop the daily gym and never got back to it. I believe I would be seeing even more improvements with nofap if I had been exercising for the last two months.

 

All right I hope you can do that

 

One year sounds great, It will be a hard challenge.And I think you can.

 

@fookeh I'm exactly on the same page. I think that i'll go for a year after this 90 days. But I suppose (and hope) that after a while you don't need any challenge...

Actually, at the very beginning, I wasn't planing to stop forever. I wasn't ashamed but I was just inconfortable with this fap habit. But now, I completly changed my mind. I feel really better, with more self esteem and more energy without this unconscious and compulsive behaviour.

Welcome @stephanD