Nice guys finish last

Theultimatefighter_21 · Feb 10, 2018

Thanks for the tips! Maybe, in the future when i get older, this will be useful.

Erick Pastora · Feb 11, 2018

elevate said: ↑

You can be nice / caring / compassionate / gentleman and be successful.

When people talk about nice guys finishing last it's about people who trade their self value in order to be liked. So the outcome with the woman becomes more important than their own personality / desires / intentions. They think they're not good enough and their desires are something to be ashamed of. So they act in a way that they think the other person will like them for while hiding their real intentions. That's what being creepy is all about. Creeping / maneuvering / strategizing / deceiving / manipulating your way into owning and controlling an outcome or person. They try to decode everything they say / do and all their various signals in order to determine the right time to take action. They become so invested in the woman that every little word and action becomes too big of a deal. Thus unable to take any real action. So they end up trying to be friends with them in order to buy time and hold on to access with her until their perfect opportunity presents itself. After a while, they justify that they don't want to jeopardize the friendship so they don't act on their real intentions anymore. It becomes an unrequited obsession from afar. This grey zone is a place where they never risk losing the woman, but also never go for what they want. Basically a place where nothing happens and you hold on to a fantasy.

This is why these types of people finish last. This is why they trade their self value in order to be liked and not take any risks.

I know plenty of people who are nice / caring / compassionate / chivalrous people, but they don't hide in shame of their intentions / desires / personality and they go for what they want no matter the outcome.

Playing games / convincing someone who isn't interested to be with you / putting on a performance / being liked for somebody who you aren't are what a lot of people would rather do than face the possibility of rejection.

It's not nice guys finish last.

It's dishonest, manipulative, and cowardly guys that finish last.

They can justify it all under the veil of love, friendship, or fear of rejection, but it's simply acting in a deceptive way to avoid facing the possibility that she's just not interested in you.
Click to expand...

Wow, I really loved this comment

Erick Pastora · Feb 11, 2018

Theultimatefighter_21 said: ↑

Thanks for the tips! Maybe, in the future when i get older, this will be useful.
Click to expand...

How old are you?

Theultimatefighter_21 · Feb 11, 2018

Erick Pastora said: ↑

How old are you?
Click to expand...

Well, i'm 14, about to make 15.

Erick Pastora · Feb 11, 2018

Theultimatefighter_21 said: ↑

Well, i'm 14, about to make 15.
Click to expand...

Ok you still have a lot of time hahaha. Enjoy your youth!

romlel · Feb 11, 2018

@Erick Pastora Great post man, great post!

THEdally_llama · Feb 11, 2018

If any of you are tired of being a "nice guy" check out How to Beast on Youtube.

..Anna.. · Feb 11, 2018

Truegamer007 said: ↑

One of my fav YouTubers made this recently. The timing is quite a fortunate coincidence.

Click to expand...

I am not into vlogs at all, but I couldn't find anything wrong in the things she said. Agreed with her 100 %. Perfect points

..Anna.. · Feb 11, 2018

So many ''nice guys'' are in a relationships, and so many jerks can get only one night stands, but otherwise get dumped pretty quickly if they try something serious.
If the goal is to sleep around as much as possible, then, yeah, jerks and muscles win, so go to gym (although I hope majority here are for developing themselves, not becoming more shallow)
But if you are worried because of not developing relationship, there must be other problem than being nice.

Truegamer007 · Feb 12, 2018

..Anna.. said: ↑

So many ''nice guys'' are in a relationships, and so many jerks can get only one night stands, but otherwise get dumped pretty quickly if they try something serious.
If the goal is to sleep around as much as possible, then, yeah, jerks and muscles win, so go to gym (although I hope majority here are for developing themselves, not becoming more shallow)
But if you are worried because of not developing relationship, there must be other problem than being nice.
Click to expand...

I feel a relationship is something that you only find when you're not looking for it. Because if you are happy and fulfilled by yourself, you're automatically a better partner than someone who's desperate.

Deleted Account · Mar 1, 2018

This thread cannot die!

THEdally_llama · Mar 1, 2018

Truegamer007 said: ↑

I feel a relationship is something that you only find when you're not looking for it. Because if you are happy and fulfilled by yourself, you're automatically a better partner than someone who's desperate.
Click to expand...

Well said

Erick Pastora · Mar 5, 2018

Truegamer007 said: ↑

I feel a relationship is something that you only find when you're not looking for it. Because if you are happy and fulfilled by yourself, you're automatically a better partner than someone who's desperate.
Click to expand...

I agree, but you have to be in the batter's box to get a home run, you won't if you're on the bench. Sorry for all the baseball references but they're great. What I'm saying is yes, you can't look for a relationship to happen, it happens when it has to. However, you won't meet your new girlfriend if you just stay on the couch watching TV, go out. And I'm not saying go to clubs and bars every day, I hate clubs as a matter of fact. I'm saying, go to the coffee shop, to the park, to the gym, to your friend's birthday, even in the library you'll get a chance. You just gotta go outside and talk to people, develop game, fulfill your physical needs if that's what you want and then you can see a relationship going on. If you're not one for one night stands great, no problem, you can just make new friends until you find a girl that you want to get with and go from there. Didn't work? Keep looking.

Erick Pastora · Mar 5, 2018

..Anna.. said: ↑

So many ''nice guys'' are in a relationships, and so many jerks can get only one night stands, but otherwise get dumped pretty quickly if they try something serious.
If the goal is to sleep around as much as possible, then, yeah, jerks and muscles win, so go to gym (although I hope majority here are for developing themselves, not becoming more shallow)
But if you are worried because of not developing relationship, there must be other problem than being nice.
Click to expand...

That's the whole point of this thread, either if they want one night stands or relationships doesn't matter, because they are not getting either. Guys got to understand that being nice doesn't get you either laid nor in a relationship, because if every girl went for the nice guy, every girl would have a boyfriend.

Erick Pastora · Mar 5, 2018

CrisReis22 said: ↑

This thread cannot die!
Click to expand...

That's the spirit! Come on guys keep replying, let's get this thing going on.

Erick Pastora · Mar 7, 2018

New thread guys, hope you like it. It's called "It's all about abundance" and it will help you out on your mindset for dating. Check it out here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/its-all-about-abundance.159894/

bobby_100 · Mar 8, 2018

very well said

Erick Pastora said: ↑

Hey guys, I have been writing some threads that a lot are finding useful, and I really want to post this because it's something that makes me so mad which is the phrase: "Nice guys finish last". You can check other posts here:

Social anxiety: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/the-harsh-truth-about-social-anxiety.153354/
Approaching women: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/this-will-help-you-a-lot.153742/

Now, back to the main topic, the reason that phrase makes me so mad is because it's not true, it's just an excuse. An excurse for what? For not taking action, for being afraid, for not leaving your comfort zone, and mostly to say it's not your fault you're single. We've all heard someone say that girls have been ruined for nice guys by jerks. It's not 100% false, but it's no excuse for you not to take action. Hot or pretty girls get hitted by jerks a thousand times and they do get sick of THOSE guys, which is why they tend to be a little more reserved or suspicious of the next guy in line. She is not unavailable, she is just testing if you're one of the many. If you're not a jerk, you DO have a chance being a nice guy.

The reason most guys think that phrase is true is because it's easier to blame women or other men, rather than blame themselves for not taking action, for not having game, for being single.. The truth is, it's not being nice what prevents you from having game, because there's a lot of nice guys out there that have game. The reason there are jerks who got game is because if you're one you're provoking a feeling inside the girl, although a lot of people may hate you, you're gonna be loved by someone too. On the other side, if you're being the nice guy you're awakening no feelings, which is why they don't love or hate you, they just like you like a friend.

I've come down to a list of 6 reasons I think nice guys don't have game and end up using that phrase to blame the world instead of themselves:

1. Inability to take action
This is something I talked about in the thread about approaching women. This is because of two main reasons: overthinking and putting all your eggs in a basket. Overthinkers can't take action and talk to pretty ladies because they think of all the bad scenarios that could happen and stress themselves about things that haven't happened yet. They usually imagine how the girl is going to react (usually a bad way) and they decide not to instead, but how do you know the way she's gonna react if you don't know a freaking thing about her? Psychologists suggest that when you imagine how other people think you're just projecting all of your bad attitudes in them, so you're not actually thinking how she may react, but you're thinking of how YOU would react being in her position. Putting all your eggs in one basket is putting yourself up to disappointment, because you don't know the girl and if you're thinking she's perfect or she is your only target, you don't want any other girl just her... You don't take action because you know if she rejects you, you won't be able to accept it.
My advice: turn off your mind. For real guys don't set yourself up for dissapointment, act and see what happens. Imagine you see this girl daily and you have talked to her a couple of times and she's been nice, then you start imagining how your life would be with her and then you don't want to ask her out or anything like that because you're afraid she might say no because you're already thinking about loving her when you have barely spoken to her!

2. Inability to be straightforward
This is a very good reason. You see, we guys are idiots. We think that because you like the girl she'll know you like her and will fall in love with you. Most guys like to play it slow, to the point where girls get bored of them because they never let out their true intentions and play stupid mind games that don't work.
My advice: you see a girl you like, go talk to her and if it goes well ask her out right away. Many guys really don't realize how girls love that you have balls enough to show your true intentions and ask them out. Let her know (without saying it, obviously) that you're a guy with a penis that knows what he wants and you're confident enough to go find more girls if she rejects you, you must come from a position from abundance.

3. Inability to accept rejection
If you don't ever want to be rejected by girls here's the advice: don't approach them, don't leave your house, never try to get game. If you're reading this post, I'm guessing you've been friendzoned and even though you are the nicest man in the world you can't explain to yourself why she only sees you as a friend. This friend of mine always seemed to me as a ladies man, he always talked about sex and that kinda stuff. One day I asked him his magic number and he said 5. He only had been with 5 women and he is in all truth an attractive guy. The thing is, no one, absolutely NO ONE gets 0 rejections, you have to be able to accept rejection. Not overthinking and not putting all your eggs in one basket actually helps you to avoid taking rejection as something personal. Girls don't have to like you just because you approach them and it's not personal because they don't know you. Think about this: of all the girls you know, how many do you like? Say you know 50 women and you would have sex with 30 of them and you'll want to be in a relationship with 6 of them. Ok, so if you can choose which kind of girls you like, why can't girls?
My advice: accept the fact that being nice isn't the only reason a girl would like you or not, accept the fact that you have more traits than just being nice, and accept the fact that girls can pick who they want to date as much as you can.

4. Inability to see the big picture
I wanted to have the stats of my city to see how many fish were actually in the sea, just were I live. It turns out there's at least 300,000 women my age in my city. I don't think I even know 200 of them. This is connected with rejection, which means if you're rejected by one girl, there's 299,999 others you can try to get with. Rejection by one girl isn't the end of the world, keep trying and you'll find what you're looking for.
My advice: pretty obvious, isn't it? Come from a position from abundance, that girl isn't the only girl in the world.

5. Being too nice
This is the only reason I can think of why girls reject you because of being nice. There's nice and too nice. If the girl you like asks you for anything and you get her anything she wants and always compliment her, you always put a smile and never say anything not nice, she probably won't like you. The reason is, if you're too nice and please every single one of her wishes, you're putting yourself beneath her (and not in a good sexual way). The reason is, if you always try to be nice you're just pretending to be something you're not, she won't see the real side of you. That other side outside of being happy, the one where you have a life outside her, the one where you're not always available, the one where you're not hers to play with. If you're too nice means you basically don't respect yourself as much as you respect her, which is why it's unattractive.
My advice: don't start being a jerk instead of being too nice. One of the things that makes a relationship work is that both parties have self respect and love for themselves that they don't have to be codependent of the other. Give yourself a place, don't filter your words so you always say something nice, be real, tease her or criticize her without being a jerk. Be nice in the way of being a charming gentleman but don't be her bitch.

6. Believing that the perfect girl will just show up
If there's any Batman fan out there, I know you'll love this quote from Harvey Dent: "You make your own luck". I believe that luck doesn't come from sitting out and doing nothing while the universe does all the work and it puts the girl of your dreams right in front of you and she's madly in love with you. Luck comes from effort, you don't even have to call it luck, call it prize or reward for all your efforts in having game, in approaching girls even if you're afraid, in getting back out there if it doesn't work with one girl, etc.
My advice: go out there, try all of the things you've just learned, get turned down sometimes and always keep trying. You'll eventually be able to see the big picture.

Hope this helps you, good luck to all of you!
Click to expand...

very well explained however my situation is different you sound like a true professional teacher . what should i do to get over my shyness which has killed me into faping for the last 30 years ... i am married
and need to be confident outside mariage to approach women

Erick Pastora · Mar 9, 2018

bobby_100 said: ↑

very well said

very well explained however my situation is different you sound like a true professional teacher . what should i do to get over my shyness which has killed me into faping for the last 30 years ... i am married
and need to be confident outside mariage to approach women
Click to expand...

Hold on man, let me get this straight: you want to cheat on your wife?

bobby_100 · Mar 10, 2018

Erick Pastora said: ↑

Hold on man, let me get this straight: you want to cheat on your wife?
Click to expand...

haha well u got me man

Erick Pastora · Apr 1, 2018

Hey guys, new post: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/do-this-before-approaching.164593/

Log in

Nice guys finish last

Theultimatefighter_21 Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Theultimatefighter_21 Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

romlel Fapstronaut

NoFap Defender

THEdally_llama Fapstronaut

..Anna.. Fapstronaut

..Anna.. Fapstronaut

Truegamer007 Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

THEdally_llama Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

bobby_100 Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

bobby_100 Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Share This Page

Log in

Nice guys finish last

Theultimatefighter_21 Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Theultimatefighter_21 Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

romlel Fapstronaut NoFap Defender

THEdally_llama Fapstronaut

..Anna.. Fapstronaut

..Anna.. Fapstronaut

Truegamer007 Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

THEdally_llama Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

bobby_100 Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

bobby_100 Fapstronaut

Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

Share This Page

romlel Fapstronaut

NoFap Defender