No direction, no goals, numb...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by VanillaMochi, Mar 27, 2015.

  1. tomtom

    tomtom Fapstronaut

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    For me hitting the rock bottom was something that really changed me and got me started with nofap. Without that experience I might still be wasting my life with PMO.

    7 months without PMO says it was a good thing in the end.
     
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  2. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

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    Day 5.

    Had some urges but they've subsided. Fantasized a little bit while in the shower but caught myself.

    Low energy right now.
     
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  3. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

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    Day 6.

    Had a WD that I watched porn. And while I was typing in the website in the address bar I thought to myself "It's only been 5 days..."

    I'm thinking about relapsing but I'm not going to do it. Instead I'm going to get ready for my day and possibly go outside and read a book.
     
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  4. jbastoniv

    jbastoniv Fapstronaut

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    That's a plan, get out of the house, don't be alone and change up the routine, that is some of the best strategies. Make some new friends, keep busy with other peoples company, do not be alone if possible.
     
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  5. Z Dog

    Z Dog Fapstronaut

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    Giving up PMO is much harder than giving up smoking but I wouldn't like to try giving them up at the same time.

    Personally I am trying to give up sugar but I have waited until i am about 2 months into my PMO abstinence before I started.

    Right now I feel flat as a pancake. But it'll pass.
     
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  6. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

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    Day 0.

    Busted my poker money again. Got rejected again. PMO'd again. Got two packs of cigarettes, again.

    ..
     
  7. SerpentEagleHeart

    SerpentEagleHeart Fapstronaut

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    *disclaimer* sorry for posting advice on here when I am just a fellow human being who probably doesn't know anything *disclaimer*

    Man, I really think you're being too harsh on yourself by trying to make yourself give up all these things at once. You're inevitably going to fail because you will never have enough will power. Seriously, do one at a time. If all your focus is on the one habit it'll be ten times easier to change.

    Sorry if that sounds quite stern (and what do I know, right?), but I really want you to achieve your goals and I feel sad it's not working for you. I don't think it's anything to do with you as a person, it's just the way you're going about trying to achieve them. I was totally in the same cycle as you before I realised this and now I am doing sooo much better. Abstaining with will power is like trying to hold back a flood - you may be able to last a few days, but ultimately the flood will always win.

    Hope this helps and isn't just douchebaggy.

    YOU CAN DO IT!!!

    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2015
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  8. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Don't give up Chicks_Dig_Nofap. Do you think you could explain what happened which lead up to you faltering? Explaining your rationale could give clues to how exactly you can beat your addictions, whether that may be one by one, or all together. I'm assuming that being rejected by a woman lead you to rationalise to PMOing. But what about gambling and smoking? Also, what about the audio blog? That was really good.

    Don't give up buddy.
     
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  9. Stranglethorn

    Stranglethorn Fapstronaut

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    Came here to concur with SerpentEagleHeart and NoBrainer. Check this thing out http://bigthink.com/insights-of-gen...ion-and-attention-a-new-model-of-self-control
    According to what these guys found out, if we don't have anything to pull us through tough decisions like resisting temptations, we're feeding of a limited supply. Just like SerpentEagleHeart said, you might take a stand against one, but that exhausts you and you can hold up against the draw of another. At the end of the day, you might have actually resisted a lot, but since you didn't resist them all, you feel like you didn't accomplish your goal and that pulls you down.

    So boost your strategy, trick the lizard brain. A) Do one at a time - once you've kicked one habit, you know you can do it! You can kick the others, too. B) Get a motivating factor in play to pull you through the hard times. Why are you doing this? Find out what your key memories and mnemonics are (e.g. failing a test because instead of studying, you p-binged and the night was gone). Write them down, put this weapon in a special place. When it gets tough and you need help, you get help from your past self that way. The self that more vividly remembers, in one of those moments when the urges don't have the upper hand, why you want to do this.

    Hang in there, mate.
     
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  10. NU-LIFE

    NU-LIFE Fapstronaut

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    I feel for you VM, I really do. When I first started on this site you were the one who made me feel better about my situation and my conditions. I know how you feel. In the last two months this is only my second time reaching 7 days. I know the mood your in, but think about what you've done. You reached more than 2 months man! That's something to be proud of. You've undoubtedly made changes in your brain. So your falling victim to the chaser effect. Who cares! Get back up now! Your not giving anything back. Your surely on your way to becoming who you want to be. Keep it up man. Maybe it's a good idea to talk to someone about it. I recently opened up to a friend about everything. It was scary, but I feel I've unloaded a boulder off my shoulders. just a thought brother.

    Nu-life
     
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  11. Happiness

    Happiness Fapstronaut

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    First of all, I feel your pain brother. But things will look up, as they seem to be already by your later posts. Keep your head high :)

    Secondly, you could always change the name of your current instagram to something else, then make a new acc with the same name as the old one (i believe.) Worth a try.

    love & light
     
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  12. Monster Carrot

    Monster Carrot Fapstronaut

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    Bro. I realize you are going to GA meetings, so I know you know that this gambling thing is a serious source of your problems. From my perspective it almost always correlates with PMO relapse for you. I can only think of once when you posted about losing money but not PMOing, back near the end of your long streak. I know it seems a lot to tackle at once but I kind of think the gambling needs to stop 100% because it seems to have too much control over your mood and therefore your PMO addiction. You don't need to lose any more control than you've already lost over this thing.
     
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  13. headedup

    headedup Fapstronaut

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    I just liked everybody's posts because everybody is right: you CAN do this. You were doing so well that the problem is clearly psychological; this is not something we on the internet can fix for you, though we can give emotional support and tell you not to give up.

    Dude, you need not only a program (Fortify, NoFap Academy) but a therapist. I'm 100% serious; it's an easy step and I know you can do it. How hard is it to go? Not hard at all. You will succeed. Please, please do this. For yourself. There is no reason to stay at rock bottom.
     
  14. KeenEye

    KeenEye Fapstronaut

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    I read a post these last two days where the fapstronaut says that the triggers are not just in the porn, nude pictures, or fantasies, but also in things that lead us to PMO. For example, being anxious in front of the girl you like stops you from enjoying the interaction or just approaching her. Then time passes by and you have to go home now that you're tired AND depressed. Then you go home and negative and compulsive thinking flood your mind and half of those thoughts somehow lead to big urges to PMO. And of course, by that time, you listen only to the negative ones. I don't know about the rejection thing but I'm guessing you mean you got rejected by a girl? if so, I think the gambling and asking girls out are both big triggers. I would get away from both but your priorities may be different. But I want you to be aware that certain things that are not porn-related but are part of the PMO psychology count as strong triggers too.

    Best of luck brother!
     
  15. headedup

    headedup Fapstronaut

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    To quote Cher Lloyd... we want you back, want want you back :)
     
  16. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Yea bro. Where are you Chicks_Dig_Nofap?
     
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  17. 20cents

    20cents Fapstronaut

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    Never give up giving up.

    Stay strong brother.
     
  18. 20cents

    20cents Fapstronaut

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    I dispute that.

    Likewise, I'm fairly new to the NoFap journey myself (had quite a few runs since I started in November 2014), but look, from experience, if you only give up some parts of the NoFap, you're not going to achieve a proper reboot.

    Say, you keep P in your life, or edge, or M, or MO; you still didn't PMO but those behaviours will only strengthen the reward circuit neurologically and you'll end up PMO'ing anyway.

    If you don't have a significant other, I'd even do Hardmode. Commit yourself to that elusive goal and you will have a higher chance of success; and if you fall, you'll still have experienced the light at the end of the NoFap tunnel rather than just bullshitting yourself that you "tackled one goal at a time".

    Please respond.
     
  19. SerpentEagleHeart

    SerpentEagleHeart Fapstronaut

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    Heya, no I would totally agree with you. I meant more because he was trying to quit smoking at the same time as quitting PMO, not about quitting only some parts of PMO. Hope that clears things up, and glad for your clarification, yes!
     
  20. 20cents

    20cents Fapstronaut

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    Okay, thank you for the clarification :)
     

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