NoFap doesn't create girlfriends

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by cuddler, Nov 4, 2015.

  1. Danny Lee

    Danny Lee Fapstronaut

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    I totally understand, but all I was trying to say was that you should never obsess over anything. Too much is always bad. Craving for sex isn't a "sin," unless it's not healthy. I doubt that anyone was suggesting that. All I want you to know is that everything should be modest.
    Good luck!
     
  2. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    Guilt transfer from people who watched more extreme porn than you
     
  3. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    @cuddler

    Get out of your head, man.
    It's simple.

    Regarding that highschool girl. If she smiled at you, you're attractive.
    If you're attractive, why do you masturbate? Slap yourself.

    You will meet a girl, whether you're on Day 5 or Day 31. You don't know what the future brings.
    Just don't stay inside and watch porn. Destroy old habits.
    Build new ones.

    I joined a social club, where foreigners learn my native language. I've met a whole crowd of new people.
    I have no fear of people. On Day 3 I could talk to 3 girls, at the same time.
    No pressure, you see? There is no pressure other than that which we make ourselves.

    Fuck those usual thoughts of insecurity. Just go to the girl after she gives you the eye, and say something nice & funny to her.
    Don't be like
    'Would you care for an orgasm?'

    Be more into the NOW of the situation. If she wears something pink, tell her that your favorite T-shirt is pink as well and you can both engage in a philosophical debate whether pink does make a guy girly or not.
    There are hundreds of possibilities.

    I can't tell them all to you because you need to go outside to discover them on your own.

    Also, if you're feeling rejected, don't fap. Nobody deserves your anguish.
    Love yourself more and stop beating yourself if you fail.
    We all fail but it's the intention that matters.

    Forward, to Victory!
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2015
    Getting clean likes this.
  4. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    Trust me, bro, I wasn't talking about porn.
    The only guilt you feel in my words is the one in your head.

    Heal yourself and try helping others, for a change.
     
    Haggis likes this.
  5. cuddler

    cuddler Fapstronaut

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    I don't feel like having too much sex right now. Really.
     
  6. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    This is an interesting topic idea, and while yes simply cutting out pmo wont turn you into superman (we have to determine the choices we make), I kinda disagree with the premise that it doesn't create girlfriends. By cutting out the pmo and fulfillment it gives us, we have to learn the natural, normal way of having a healthy sex life, by, shocker, having relationships with other people. I don't know about you guys, but my desire and drive to be with someone hasn't been higher than when I was in highschool, before pmo. Seeing how I created my loneliness drives me mad sometimes, but I can see why I chose to be alone (because I thought pmo was the solution to all my problems, when it was the main cause).

    At the end of the day we have to find it in ourselves to obtain what we want in life, but for me personally at least, by not having pmo in my life I really have a huge desire to meet somebody, which never existed during my pmo habit.
     
  7. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    I don't feel any guilt in your words. Over on your brain rebalanced one of the biggest white knights admitted that his addiction progressed into "illegal" porn. I didn't ask him what that meant.
     
  8. so true, I have been pmo free for about 4 years, still no girl friend, there is a lot more in to the equation besides fapping.
     
  9. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    All true, but at least for me, the desire to attain a girlfriend is so much more now than it ever has been. During my pmo days I had given up hope of ever having a girlfriend and the thought of even having a significant other NEVER came to me. I am gaining the confidence that girls desire and now have the drive to go after what I want in life, all thanks to no pmo. Will it take me a while to actually get a girlfriend? Probably. But at least now I have the drive to go after it instead of conceding after the first rejection.
     
    JoePineapples likes this.
  10. TheBeachvillain

    TheBeachvillain Banned

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    Everybody on this thread go read only Cuddler's posts from beginning to end and tell me he's not a troll. smh.
     
    yoyo1, Haggis and JoePineapples like this.
  11. Solitude

    Solitude Fapstronaut

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    What the hell ARE you? Some kind of goddamn CUDDLER or something??? :mad::mad::mad::mad:
     
  12. cuddler

    cuddler Fapstronaut

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    The problem when you want a girlfriend is that most people will just insult you, discourage you, hate you, manipulate you. Probably that is the reason why guys who don't give a shit get girlfriends, because they don't listen to all those whining people.
     
  13. Haggis

    Haggis Fapstronaut

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    We've told you several times about our opinions on how to get a girlfriend. A girlfriend is someone you see as more than just body parts. Someone more than just a person to get off with. A real girlfriend is someone you form a meaningful connection with. Someone you respect and admire for their personality as much as their physical beauty. When we make our statements to that regard, your responses have consisted of things like "I just want them naked" and "I want to be a chick magnet", etc.

    If you just want to go bang random people instead of forming meaningful relationships, then more power to ya, dude. My only words of caution have been to not let casual sex replace your P addiction. There are plenty of posts and journals here on NoFap from people that have lots of casual sex and feel completely empty and unfulfilled by it. A casual sex addiction can become just as damaging as a porn addiction (if not worse, since the danger of STDs, pregnancy, etc. comes into play). Its just odd and a bit ironic that someone with the nickname "Cuddler" (which implies a romantic-ish person who desires an emotional connection in addition to the physical act of sex) continues to harp on the fact that he just wants to get laid.

    We're not trying to be un-supportive dude, I promise. We apparently are just looking at this from two different points of view. If you're just trying to get laid, my suggestion is to join a dating site. If you're trying to reset your perception of porn, sex, and all things of that nature, then this is the place for you.

    Cheers,
    Haggis
     
  14. cuddler

    cuddler Fapstronaut

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    I desire a deeper connection, but I don't fight against sex like you.
    I'd let casual sex replace my porn addiction. I think it's much healthier and social.
     
  15. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

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    You want to be a chick magnet. Learn to talk about your emotions and feelings with a woman. Tell a woman about nofap, tell a woman about your struggle to be a better person. They all respect it. And one will be magnetically drawn to you. Women like men who they respect. Become a respectable man and you'll be fine. Money does not equal respect, nor does looks, or social position. Respect is something about who you are... whether you are high or low self esteem, respect yourself and respect women and be vulnerable. Oh, and let out your sense of humor.


    So the list is this in order to be a chick magnet.

    Respect yourself, take care of yourself.
    Respect her.
    be vulnerable and talk about your emotions.
    Tell jokes.
    and grow a beard.

    Do those 5 things and you'll be alright
     
  16. Barnabas

    Barnabas Fapstronaut

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    That's a good point. But what makes them attractive is precisely the second part - they don't care what others think about them. The reason why is a terrible one, but there can be good reasons not to care what others think about you. If you adopt the reasons and the attitude, you will be yourself, and people will enjoy your company. It's hard for others to see value in you when you don't see it in yourself first and when you hide it away for fear of what they might think.
     
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  17. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

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    I don't like that "not giving a shit" attitude. We need to give a shit about what other people think. Otherwise we would never brush our teeth, wear decent clothes, be kind to people etc. The point I think is important is not letting other people define who you are. It's a tough thing to do.
     
  18. Gens

    Gens Fapstronaut

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    I just wanted to comment a little bit on this. Two things:
    1. It's perfectly valid to dress yourself up or clean yourself up nicely for yourself only, so it doesn't always have to be for others; being able to look at a mirror and say "that's a damn sexy man you have here" is really all that matters. After all, you can always be the most handsome man for one person but a pathetic-looking one for another. Why bother thinking about the opinion of others? You'll never know if they're just being nice or had a bad day.

    2. I understand what you mean, and I would say I'm the same way, although there must be a difference from not giving a shit about what people think to being a heartless jerk.
    The way I've looked at it in the past and I think has worked is by, rather than worrying about what others think, you should worry about how others feel, and not about you. Even with friends or strangers, do them a favor like gifting a small something once in a while as a nice gesture, why not make then feel good for a moment? You won't care if they think you're wearing a stupid or a cool shirt, but you care about making them feel happy.
    I understand it can totally backfire though - you don't want to end up being Mr. Nice Guy aka letmepleaseeveryone, since you'll also end up miserable. You also have to think about yourself.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2015
    Haggis likes this.
  19. richMann

    richMann Fapstronaut

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    I have one with fapping 2-3 times a week
     
    yoyo1 likes this.
  20. Swift Nickel

    Swift Nickel Fapstronaut

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    @Andrew0268 especially number 5. gotta grow that beard, especially this month
     

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