Non-pornographic sexually stimulating material

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I don’t know whether this was discussed in the group already but I just want to say that despite avoiding pornography that there are non-pornographic non-paraphilia material out there which can be sexually stimulating. The problem is that even these aspects can get interfere with a successful reboot. Here is a list of items. Please feel free to add more to the list by commenting below.

  • educational videos with nudity
  • educational videos about sex
  • sex education videos
  • music videos with sexy models
  • belly dancing
  • twerking/grinding videos
  • pole dancing videos
  • erotic stories (novels and podcasts)
  • films about sex
  • songs about sex
 
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I got this close to resetting when I saw some hip hop music videos yesterday which features sexy models in bikinis and monokinis shaking their asses and twerking. I later so some twerking videos which sexually aroused me. I got several erections and had pre-ejaculate fluid staining my underwear.

It later sank into my mind that even though this is not pornography that this is sexually stimulating material and it does interfere with the rebooting process.
 
What are you going to do about it?

I don’t ask this in a confrontational way, nor a condescending way. I ask this because, to me, it’s an important question I ask myself in order to not succumb to my triggers. This is among the questions I ask myself to prepare.

Now, thoughts, and the brain in general, play a tremendous role in sex and sexual stimulation. If you entertain bad thoughts or other sorts of negativity, then you’re in a terrible mindset to relapse. Instead, think of thoughts you’d consider uplifting. Hum an uplifting song, and do that every time the temptations come. Anything that can replace the thoughts will put you on good ground.

In our society, we unfortunately have a tough time boycotting sexual innuendos that lead to such destructive thoughts, but This is when we need to take control of our own thoughts.

Dgould91 said:
Got to 20 days and relapsed so fucking disappointed in my self now I can't stop fapping i wanna die so bad
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Simultaneously (in reference to my above message), don’t beat yourself up every time you fail. Use failures as an opportunity to learn, because many times, the only time we gain wisdom is from failure. The path to success has many failures; what matters is if you get back up and continue. I stopped using porn in 2010 after I adopted this mindset; even a few months before then I was PMOing many times a day, and I thought I would never succeed. But, I did, nonetheless I had hiccoughs along the road.
 
Papsy said:
I got this close to resetting when I saw some hip hop music videos yesterday which features sexy models in bikinis and monokinis shaking their asses and twerking. I later so some twerking videos which sexually aroused me. I got several erections and had pre-ejaculate fluid staining my underwear.

It later sank into my mind that even though this is not pornography that this is sexually stimulating material and it does interfere with the rebooting process.
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Thought nobody would ever talk about this but I'm glad you did - as a matter of fact, every now and then I watch some of the vids you mention (k-pop dance covers, OOTD's, bikini hauls, etc.) as a way to distract me from looking out for porn (since all that non-P stuff is available on YT).

Also, I do it to appreciate the feminity, delicacy and even the personality from the girls featured on the vids (whether they're dancing, posing next to a car or something) but I've always wondered if doing so might end up triggering me to relapse?
 
I think that looking at ‘porn substitutes’ will interfere with the rebooting process. Since I am really determined to reboot beyond the point where I have no trace of thought which would make me want to look at porn or masturbate to orgasm, I hope to avoid these types of substitutes. Basically to avoid anything which arouses me during the rebooting process.

In the NoFap manual using substitutes and developing addiction to them is cross-addiction. It means that our addiction has not changed but it has been channelled in a different direction.

Not needing to watch porn or fap is just the surface. What really counts is the disciplining of the mind so that we have control and not allow our temptations to control our lives.
 
You shouldn't watch any of those P-subs i you want a faster recovery. If you feel that they sate your addiction's hunger even a bit, you should avoid them. The chaser effect might kick in too, and we know where it leads.
In time you'll be feeling fine watching some of those videos, but give your brain time. That's my opinion.
 
Roady said:
What's the difference between porn and porn-substitutes?
I've learned myself: everything that creates sexual stimulation = porn. Period.
And I should stay away from it and when it reaches my eyes, I have to move on asap.
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Anything that is artificial and not an interaction with a real life woman I would consider i p-sub sometimes we watch things unintentionally something triggering happen but that wasn’t are intent I wouldn’t count that as a p-sub but I try to steer clear of those type of programs showing half naked women
 
Please feel free to add any category which is sexually arousing which would hinder the process of rebooting.
 
Welcome to a hypersexualized world.

I shall not add to the list, but say that anything can be used to fap with if one is inclined. I have fapped to regular pictures of females, so I know sexualized media is not the root of the issue yet I realize one must be diligent to guard their eyes.
 
This thread hits home. It's also good to remember that these subs are where the addiction began. There is some progress in turning to them because it's at least a form of de-escalation. I agree that they have to go though. Time will lessen their influence. Yesterday I actual had an urge and then became bored with the fantasy. It was not tempting because it seemed...dumb. I don't think that would have happen earlier in the process. I do still have a long way to go...
 
If anyone wants to add any list of items to the type of content above then please do.
 
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