On the edge of suicide

Hey Dani, I've been in your place so many times and so I know what I will say will probably have no impact in the state you're in but please, by all means, know it's a journey, not a destination. It's 10000% ok to try over and over again, there is no finish line, no set point at which you've "won" or anything. The very fact you're trying proves you're a very valuable individual that deserves not only as much love and care as anyone else but maybe even more since you're an addict in recovery. Please reach out to me if you want to talk, I'm available.

 

@dani01S

What I'm going to tell you is contrary to the NoFap ideology, but it is true.

For centuries, civilization has been condemning young men for masturbating.

They have been humiliated and made to feel irredeemably hopeless and lost.

Young men have been made to fear God's wrath after they've masturbated.

Even if "God" is not invoked in this, the condemnation and it's consequences are the same.

All of that has resulted in nothing but depression, mental illness, and even insanity.

This has continued to our present day, and few have successfully stopped masturbating.

Internet porn has simply intensified the masturbation experience and given moralists additional reason to condemn.

It is not masturbation and porn which must stop.

This kind of puritanical condemnation must stop.

It comes from religion, and we also see this absolute stance on the forums.

You are a victim of this in your feeling of hopelessness.


You are at a point where you must stop worrying about PMO.

You have not been able to remove this from your life, and you must accept it.

Accept that you are a young male with a powerful and overwhelming sex drive and that you will look at porn, masturbate, and orgasm.

Once you do this, you should no longer feel the despair of "failure."


In time, you may or may not take up the NoFap challenge again.

This program, when done right, should positively foster personal growth.

Obviously, this is not how you are experiencing it.

For now, you must surrender this--give it up--because it obviously has become too much for you.


Frankly, it is better to look at porn and jerk off all the time than to lose your entire life.

 

This, when you free yourself of the shackles of your own morality, what you can accomplish will astound you.

 

Dani PLEASE dont kill yourself. You have SO much life to love. This is a battle you can definitely win. We are definitely here for you. Please you can still fight. Ive dealt with suicidal thoughts as well but ive pushed through them. Please dont do it.

 

mate I've been where you are, Not going to preach or anything i know theres a cross on my profile pick but my teenage years where rough for me, self-destruction doesn't work... suicide will be a waste of your life, ODs are never good believing me taken a few of them not as seriously more for self-harm reason, just do the best you can do if you can't quit, do harm minimisation instead. But would Seriously talk to a Dr about the concerns you have, get a referral to people that can help rather than a bunch of random strangers on a forum.

Get the help for the suicidal thoughts, then hopefully it will ease your impulses. Though i would say this if thats your main issue thats causing low mood its best to also have a discussion with whom ever you speak too... I wasted a lot of time skirting around issues i had with my porn use and still do skirt around the issue.

I cant say the help was too forthcoming but it was still worth talking to the person i spoke too. But I have other issues... like schiz and stuff. Would say im still a lot better with an aim in life(Art, Vector graphics etc). Find something your absolutely passionate about healthier then porn. Also discovered religion as you might be able to tell thats helped a faith bit what with being able to direct my fears and what not to my creator... so maybe find a religon you can have faith in.

Also avoid alc and especially drugs, they will only make you more impulsive and what not in my experience, or just leave you with a wrecked brain for a whie if you go into psychosis(more common then just schiz honestly) and if you do have underlaying mh issues will make pretty much all of them worse.

Anyway best imo to hit it head on. At least talk to a professional.

Anyway seriously hoping you havent done any harm to your self please pm me if needed. idk if i can be much help or reach out to the moderators, call samaritens or the like.

 

Listen champ, there are two sides of everybody, the worm, which is despicable and useless and full of vice. And the hero, a monster itself, full of the potential to push human knowledge and capability to its limits, to create, to love, to live in virtue.

This is your worm talking, and I'm sure you certainly don't want to kill yourself over porn of all things, as if you'd want to become another statistic when you and I know that you have the potential to love a women, advance a field of science, rescue a life, experience what the majority haven't seen.

Check out on YouTube The Academy of Ideas
Itll certainly help you out in times of mental crisis.

Now use this breakdown as a form of psychological rebirth, like the Phoenix rising out of the ashes. Go learn some stuff the majority doesn't know, become confident, become competent. (Go to the gym for sure)

It's not about where you're at brother, it's about where you're going to be.

Cheers

 

I have no clue what to say as I have yet to experience such hardships. But don't give up man, take it day by day and remain hopeful for a brighter future. I really hope you will defeat this mental battle within you and come out stronger.

 

What dayone44 said is not all true but the part about staying alive is true. Now the part about staying alive but living a fapping existence.. you don’t have to do that either. I was never told once masturbation is wrong and still have rarely heard of anyone who thinks that. When I figured it out by accident as a teenager it felt terrible. The hormonal balance is out of whack. Check into the difference in prolactin and oxytocin levels between sex and masturbation. Masturbation does not leave the mind satiated or happy. So if you feel bad afterwards thats normal, no one feels better after masturbating. The reason society has been telling us its normal for so long is because people believe that men must release semen regularly. Very few have understood that men do not actually need what is referred to as sexual release. What men need is to understand how to work with retained sexual energy. I have been and its fantastic. As a teenager, up until age 17, I had raging testosterone and never released except through wet dreams, because I had not started masturbating, and it was one of the best times of my life. Constant energy, constantly happy. And now, through reading, a daily routine, Karezza, and other means, I am learning how to retain sexual energy without “going crazy”. Meditation is huge. You have to have a form of natural stress release or your male body will try to have you orgasm to relieve stress. Daily meditation, prayer, an accountability partner, internet blocking, throwing away devices, exercise, cold shower, Podcasts, living life to the fullest, waking up early, taking care of yourself... its all worth it. Give it a shot. I have an accountability group on Telegram, let me know if you’d care to join. Either way, I wish you well brother and remember, your life is precious.

 

I know I'm just some random dude on the internet, but trust me when I say that nobody would be made better off if you were not around anymore.

Remember that things will not always be easy, but they will not always be hard neither. From the sound of it, your mental state is at a low point, but this is only temporary. These situations will eventually pass. They always do. When you recover from these emotions, you will be very glad that you did not swallow those pills. The hardship you are experiencing with PMO addiction (and possibly with other parts of your life) can be overcome and when you manage that, you will see how valuable your life really is.

 

I suggest you call a help line to talk things through.
There are people who will listen to your concerns and have some helpful suggestions as what to do.

 

If all else fail just know that suicide is like really painful and i speak from experience.

 

Every problem has a solution, if previous solutions didnt work then that should be your motivation to find a new solution, just know you are not alone in this addiction. Do not let an addiction be stronger than you, you are stronger and will get through it, if you need an assistant or an therapist it is not shameful, you are even stronger for admitting you may need some help or guidance. You got this brother. Do not put too high expectations, work from the bottom to the top and at the end you will reach what you want but it takes time and steps!

 

Yes Porn feels like a trap but you've been PMOing for 4 years? That's really not that long in the scheme of life. You have so much potential. You might not be religious, but I know God has a purpose for you on this earth. If you ever feel down come here and let someone know because we understand and we only want success for you. For me it was huge to tell my parents about my struggle, and most parents would be surprisingly understanding. I am sure your mom can help you or at least help you to feel like someone is there for you. Porn kills, but it's never too late. There's guys on here that have recovered from 30+ year addictions. I know you can beat this. Do what you need to do. Shut off your phone, stay in public when on media, and don't take your phone behind closed doors. Keep trying man it just takes practice. Many guys relapse 100 times or more before they are free.

 

I was exactly where u r now 6 months ago... i was Unable to start after relapse... But now I am over 6 months ... All it takes is a week of SERIOUS WILLPOWER... And after that u get rhythm....I Still depressed alot.. But Its withdrawls... Earlier It was fruatration of not able to start again..... what healped me was to have a accountablity partner just for first 10- 12 days... U message him Daily and discuss ur problem... Its Really helpful to get a start .. dont even think to suicide or anything stupid.... ... we all are with u... Feel free to messge me... Just go for one FUCKING week.. It all will get better

 

Porn doesn’t kill.

 

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/the-secret-technique-to-never-pmo-again.301816/

 

There's a warrior within you. Go through this TEMPORARY pain to unlock him. You are powerful and you are wanted. We're all in this together. Stop worrying about anything else right now, keep abstaining in the meantime, and treat yourself (you deserve it).

All the best