P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Thank you so much for answer. Do you think everyone can recover 100 % ? I have not seen a more bad case than myself sadly.. Frequent urinating for exampel will go away early in the reboot, i am almost 1 year in now and still have big problems..

 

No problem.

I definitely think so, but I think the last few percentiles are very slow. It could take years to reach 100% for some guys.

With that said, as long as you stay off the poison and DON'T relapse whatever you do, you will see improvement in your symptoms to the point where life is bearable again. If you do relapse the symptoms WILL get worse and it will take even longer to recover. I think 20-24 months and upwards of that is where the magic happens for bad cases, but I wouldn't get too fixated with a certain number of months; it'll happen when it happens, and there's no rushing it.

 

I try to have patience , waiting for morningwood or a 100 % erection, but as time pass i really doubt it will happen..

 

Thank you for your support. I can not get a full erection to porn either.. its like i have a flatline to porn to.. I will try like you max 4 years, if i not healed i will never be..

 

Guys, I wanted to share one method here that, in theory, could really speed up the reboot. The method may seem ridiculous, but it is based on observing the process and what is being written here. I have finalized the text and will post it here tomorrow in the hope that you will express your opinion

 

Id say you only made things worse by not having an orgasm for so long but still using P and edging.

 

Month 38 currently and still no morning wood.

Hardmode. No relapse.

Am I the worst case ?

 

Same here, brother. I'm hopeful that there will be measurable progress around 24-36 months, but I'm just going to let this take as long as it takes.

I agree 100%. Granted, most of it was just me fantasizing in bed in the early morning (while staying up late every night; terrible combination), so the P was mostly mental throughout that "streak," but that's still enough to keep the pathways lit up, combined with the occasional porn that I saw. I wasn't making any progress whatsoever, even though I wasn't orgasming at all and could go months at a time without seeing porn, because I was still making up porn scenarios in my mind.

Hard mode is the only way; I see that now.

 

Addict between 2005-2013.. From 2013 until now i have always come back to porn in periods.. But also have many streaks of no pmo.. 8 months is the longest after this streak which is almost 1 year now..

 

Given the fact that you've done many streaks, and have always come back periodically, you have to give yourself time, brother.

This is what withdrawal symptoms do: they do hell to your body and mind, and the longer your streaks are, the more damaging the relapse can be, because of a phenomenon known as kindling. There are reports on these forums of people who, on their first streak ever, experience amazing benefits in just a couple of weeks, but after relapsing begin experiencing benefits later and later in their streaks, and developing more and more annoying symptoms as they go along.

Do yourself a favor and go on Google and type "BenzoBuddies frequent urination" into the search bar. You'll see that this is a common symptom among sufferers there. Although I believe benzodiazepines are way more destructive than porn, and the PAWS is much less forgiving, there are many similarities between benzodiazepine withdrawal and porn withdrawal. Obviously you might not have to wait 4+ years like people who took benzodiazepines do, and these are often severe cases, but you have to be open to the possibility that it will take a longer time than just a year, especially given how you've been on and off for such a long time.

Everyone's withdrawal symptoms are different and the time it takes to get rid of them varies because we are all different, but it's all withdrawal.

 

Yes i think orgasm even with a girl slow down the recovery a lot. Its not enough to avoid porn and masturbation.. I have a girlfriend and we can not have sex beacuse this shit. I will never have sex agian if i not have a 100 % erection and feel horny , even if that means i will never have sex again, this is my mindset now.

 

Hang in there. It gets better, even if you don't believe it now. Just a matter of trying to enjoy everything else life has to offer.

 

How is it for you ? Bad case?

 

I'm one of the worst cases, at least cognitively speaking. I have severe cognitive impairment, to the point where I feel like I have dementia despite only being 24. It's been this way for so long that I've pretty much forgotten what "good" feels like. I started ramping up my porn usage in 2011, when I was 12 years old, and I began feeling that something was wrong on the tail end of 2013.

Since that time, it's gradually worsened year by year. I didn't discover porn might be the culprit until 2017 or so, and I've been on and off NF since that time, so it hasn't really had the chance to heal due to all the relapsing and binging. In fact, it's only gotten worse—much, much worse. Kindling is the most insidious thing. It's worth noting that I started experiencing these symptoms when I was still using porn, long before I resolved to quit. Maybe I unconsciously went for a long period of time without (family vacations, for instance), and that caused me to kindle when I started again.

@Don Quixote, @DarkSektur, @areborn27 and a couple of others dealt with similar problems.

The list below is very messy and repetitive, but I didn't want to leave out a single symptom. That way, everyone can get a good idea of what I'm dealing with, and of the potential negative consequences of porn:

Cognitive:

• Extremely clouded thinking, lots of brain fog (on some days this is milder, but it's not enough to make a real difference)
• Severe memory loss (used to be mostly short-term but now I struggle even remembering things that happened years ago whereas I used to be very sharp in this regard, even on previous streaks; I don't even know exactly what I had for breakfast this morning unless I struggle to remember, which isn't even worth the energy)
• I forget things constantly, I have to write things down for fear of forgetfulness
• Difficulty retaining things I've learned
• Inability to concentrate and focus
• Difficulty reading (I just read lines over and over and none of the information ever "absorbs" into my brain; this applies to listening to people talk and watching videos as well, I just rewind videos trying to get the information to make sense but I eventually just give up)
• Trouble finding words in a conversation, even online, even though I possess an extensive vocabulary
• A feeling of dullness (I used to be very witty; now I'm only witty on good days, and they come maybe a few days a year)
• Dull imagination
• Coordination problems
• Difficulty articulating myself
• Difficulty conveying thoughts into words/explaining myself/expressing myself; I often think of what I wanted to say after a conversation ends, but during the convo I can't think of anything to say
• Poor reaction time, sluggishness
• Losing my train of thought really easily
• Forgetting the next word or sentence I'm going to say in a conversation, like it just disappears into a vacuum (the harder I try to remember, the more blurry it gets)
• A feeling of being detached from the world, like there's stained glass between me and everyone and everything else; derealization
• Social difficulties
• Difficulty visualizing objects, colors, scenarios, emotions, etc.
• Abstract thinking is very difficult

Emotional:

• Extremely irritable (this comes and goes)
• Strong desire to be away from other people
• Easily upset
• Low stress tolerance
• Numbness (I don't feel as strongly as I used to, even though I still take joy in some things like writing, music, videogames, food, nature, etc.)
• Anhedonia
• Paranoia
• Tendency to think about the past
• No motivation to do anything
• Almost zero creative energy
• Tendency to postpone and procrastinate until the last minute (PAWS-related due to the fact I struggle to do basic tasks, so I postpone everything because it sucks to do... well, anything)
• Mild to moderate social anxiety/nervousness
• Jealousy

General:

• Chronic fatigue (I can sleep 11+ hours and not feel rested, I feel like I'm dragging my body around most days)
• Poor balance and clumsiness (sometimes I just lose my footing for no good reason)
• Muscle weakness, especially in the legs and in the hands
• Sporadic tingling in limbs and fingers
• Trembling fingers and hands (it's difficult to keep an object perfectly still while holding it)
• Twitching muscles (a random muscle/muscle group every time, happens for no discernible reason)
• Twitching eyelids
• Oily skin and acne on my face (not as bad as it was when I was a teenager, but not great either)
• Oily hair (my hair gets greasy very quickly after a shower, it's clean for about a day or two)
• Thin hair (my scalp is visible from certain angles because the hairs are so thin)
• Passively shedding hair; weak, brittle hair (I can find hairs on my clothes constantly)
• Uneven and weak beard growth
• Dark circles under eyes
• Dry, peeling lips
• Very slow healing of bruises and wounds
• Random headaches/migraines
• Constantly having to clear my throat
• Eye floaters
• Eye sensitivity (when I roll my eyes it hurts sometimes, and on occasion I have a very uncomfortable feeling like I have to open my eyes and can't keep them closed)
• Air hunger/occasional inability to take a full breath/excessive yawning (this came on recently, after I quit on January 1st; I strongly suspect it's another symptom of PAWS that I "gave" myself)
• I seem to be invisible or unremarkable to other people no matter how much I assert myself, how I conduct myself, or how good I look/weak aura or energy/no magnetism; I'm not taken seriously

The tingling and trembling occurs especially when I'm exposed to something arousing. Anytime I've seen something intensely arousing on my screen on a streak (this can be porn or a risqué selfie/nude from a girl with the intent to get me to react; even words, like literotica, can mess me up if I don't remove myself from the situation immediately), I've noticed my heart beating twice as fast, inexplicable coldness and shivering, jitters and lightheadedness, and my fingers trembling. I've also felt the brain fog thickening in real time. It happens every time, without fail. You cannot convince me that this is a normal, healthy bodily response to arousal.

Also, I've never had PIED (morning wood is not a problem, and when I see girls on the street there's no problem in that area either), severe anxiety, depression, or panic attacks, so as you can see we're all different and our withdrawals manifest differently. But I'm almost certain most, if not all, of the symptoms above are due to PAWS and/or POIS, because no doctors can find anything and I'm generally "healthy" according to all the metrics. There's no history of any real cognitive problems in my family tree that I know of, and I've tried numerous things to get healthy, none of which have yielded any fruit. I once water-fasted for twenty days straight out of desperation, and it didn't make so much as a dent in the symptoms (but my skin did clear up, among a few other very minor things), and another time for twelve days, as well as a series of shorter fasts. I even dry-fasted. Thinking back on it now, I understand why I felt very little difference; I am experiencing severe withdrawal, and the only thing that will solve it is time and abstinence. That said, I do think if there is something that can speed up that healing, it's fasting without a doubt—if done properly, and for a long enough time. But I am not sure how much it can speed it up.

I should add that I first saw porn at a very early age (around six or seven years old), and was masturbating without porn for at least a year before I reached puberty, which is when I got much more involved with porn than I had been prior. I believe I am one of the worst cases because my brain was so exposed to it growing up, and because I was so extreme about my use.

I've also never taken any drugs except over-the-counter painkillers (nothing crazy, just ibuprofen and paracetamol, which does almost nothing) for headaches; I stopped taking these a few years back, while the PAWS was already in full swing. My only real drug has been internet pornography. I have drunk alcohol, but I started doing that when I had already been dealing with these problems for years, in 2017 or so, and I haven't felt adversely affected by quitting it (knock on wood).

That said, I was a caffeine junkie from a rather early age, and caffeine can cause withdrawals similar to PAWS. I used to drink sweetened tea as a child, and graduated into drinking coffee, soda, and energy drinks. I was having several cups of coffee a day at the time my porn use was in full overdrive (binging every day, pretty much), and had been for a while. I remember drinking it throughout my teens, never really having a good reason to. I only quit caffeinated beverages a few years ago, but I do recall eating milk chocolate and dark chocolate (after a long time without it) the night before the day I developed the difficulty breathing. Caffeine kindling? Maybe. It was also a week after my last PMO "session," so it could be that, but there must be a link to caffeine or theobromine as well. I never felt much of a difference off caffeine, but maybe I just haven't been paying attention to staying away from caffeine. Now I know better.

 

It sounds like it to me. I've had the twitching of my eyelids and muscles for a long time, and it happens sporadically. I have no idea what really causes it, but I'm willing to chalk it up to withdrawal. People who withdraw from other drugs experience this often.

I also had a P dream today, interestingly enough. I reminded myself very quickly when I woke up that I wasn't going to act on it. I even prayed to God, and I honestly think that helps, even though I'm not sure how I feel about all of that. The nature of my symptoms makes it difficult to resist things with willpower alone, so prayer and focusing on other things very often helps.

Anyway, even if it's not PAWS, you have nothing to lose by continuing to abstain from porn... and everything to lose by going back. So the choice is clear to me.

 

I will try for a very long time to recover..But I am not convinced that I will ever heal sadly.. Think of if you hurt your body in other ways, sometimes damage never healed fully..