[PIED] 27 Month Recovery: Why is recovery taking so long

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by mentorr, Oct 8, 2021.

On average how long do you use the internet for each day? (Browsing, YouTube, Social Media etc.)

  1. 0-1 hour

    3.7%
  2. 1-3 hours

    14.8%
  3. 3-5 hours

    22.2%
  4. 5-7 hours

    33.3%
  5. 7+ hours

    25.9%
  1. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    Hi Team,

    I want to get straight to the point:

    I have been recovering from PIED for almost 27 months. My PMO addiction spans over 16 years and I currently sit in my early 30s. My overall progress involves a handful of misguided Orgasms from trying to rewire but not much else. After 2 years of recovery I have begun to notice a couple of things:
    • Overall I am gradually feeling better
    • Recovery is extremely slow
    • Morning wood is inconsistent and seems to be declining at the moment
    • After 2 years I haven't been able to achieve an erection stronger than 40%
    In short I am noticing that my erection quality is barely improving (if at all) and while many say not to measure your progress by your morning wood, I cannot shake the feeling that something is slowing down or even weighing down the quality of my reboot.

    After running through my journal and comparing the first 12 months of my recovery to the second 12 months, you can see that benefits and overall progress seems to have slowly decreased. Morning wood amongst other benefits seem to be more scarce in year 2 of my reboot. The only substantial difference that I can think of that separates the two years is Lockdown. I work in the IT Industry and Year 1 was spent heading into the office on a busy train every morning, constantly surrounded by clients and colleagues. Whereas Year 2 has been me spending hours on end, in my bedroom at my desk, in front of my computer, staring at multiple screens while browsing Netflix and YouTube to pass the time.

    When I refer to 'the internet being my girlfriend' the endless hours in front of a screen is what I am talking about. With a career that involves me consistently being at the mercy of the internet, I honestly think that internet use could be a key factor that is affecting my reboot. I am starting to realise that when bored, or stressed I will reach for either my phone or laptop, almost like an automatic response to feeling any form of emotion. P is rarely a problem, and in all honesty hasn't been that difficult to beat. It is the internet that is the real issue.

    Internet addiction seems to be somewhat of a taboo in this community, but I am interested to hear if anyone else who is (or has) suffered from PIED has had a similar issue.

    At this moment I have cut Instagram, Facebook, Twitter totally and try to use YouTube for no more than an hour a day. The moment I cut these platforms out (12 Days ago) I dropped into a flatline which has almost confirmed that it is likely an internet addiction that I am now dealing with.

    What do you guys think, can anyone relate to high internet usage having a negative affect on their reboot?
     
  2. I've changed gears in my recovery and have been doing tantric masturbation for the past three weeks. Before I would have scoffed at the idea but I believe it's helping me out big time.

    When I got out of flatline my libido was too chaotic, it would go from 0-100 in like a second and I'd have to struggle not to have an orgasm. After having sex for the first time after reboot my libido vanished again.

    What I've found is that slow self exploration and non ejaculatory orgasms (which I'm getting the hang of) is training my libido to be more gradual as opposed to how erratic it was post flatline. My plan is to continue this practice and to give a detailed report if there is substantial progress.

    Originally my goal was to simply stop everything until libido was back to normal but I've since changed my stance. I believe for severe cases like myself there needs to be a period of retraining the libido after flatline ends.
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  3. AndyR

    AndyR Fapstronaut

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    Try reading "Deep Work" by Cal Newport and The Shallows" by Nicholas Karr. These two, are great books on digital addiction and our decreasing ability to focus and fully commit to our work.
     
  4. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    I actually have a copy of The Shallows, but I will have a read of Deep Work also. I'm hoping it can add some clarity to things. Thanks
     
  5. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    @Grateful Retainer still no sign of your libido after your last O? I can also relate to my libido being out of control once leaving the flatline. Its almost as if you have to find a way to place it on a leash through emotional will. While it was nice to have my libido back, I definitely struggled to control it too. I would be interested to hear how things go for you.

    On a side note, during your recovery how was your overall streak? I know you have recently entered the later stages of your recovery where you are now very close to recovery. But I am wondering how 'clean' your reboot was. Was it 0 PMO over the past 2 years or have you had a few slips along the way? Sorry if you've answered this already, I know we have had conversations on a number of different threads. I am just considering that after the past 27 months, I may have to consider that prior slips/lifestyle choices could be pushing out my recovery time.

    Thanks
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  6. @mentorr I had a clean reboot for 21 months although I did fantasize frequently. The libido is there but it is erratic, this is why I've started doing tantric masturbation. As I said earlier before I would have scoffed at the idea but my body was telling me that retaining alone was not going to get me back to 100% full sexual health.

    If I have positive results I'll definitely share on this site.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  7. I've noticed braing fog increase massively from losing too much fluid(semen). MO constantly is not good if you are rebooting from severe addiction.
    I've noticed also my body is eating up each time my nuts produce sperms.

    ***Longest streak is 16mo hardmode*** with multiple 60 days in a row.
     
  8. WelcomeToReality

    WelcomeToReality Fapstronaut

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    I never had real ED problem. But had noticed that activities which trains vascular and blood circulation such as sprinting , specially sauna+cold shower makes me hard as rock next days.

    As I heard out sitting long time in front of computer is one unhealthiest things man can do. Our body need to move. And I experienced it myself. As an teenage I had normal weight, but very very strong body overall, then I got into MMORPG game- Lineage2 , where I played most of my time and after 14h per day for 9months, I lost huge amount of strength, endurance and muscles.
     
  9. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    14h days of gaming for 9 months sounds severe. Was it just physical symptoms that you experienced or were there mental symptoms too? How are things now?
     
  10. WelcomeToReality

    WelcomeToReality Fapstronaut

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    There are many men who playing such games and even longer. It was 12 years ago, there where some mental consequences ofcourse , but not as I remember. It wasn't that bad comparing to other life problems, I mean I learn strategies cooperation and leadership from having clan in the game , learned what is consistent goal reach and so on. Comparing to smoking, you gain nothing just losing. Ofcourse I lost my time.
    And lost my muscles, vascular strength, probably bone strength - idk, and I recovered like in one year. I was very young. But I can imagine what effect on people who's work is to sit 8-10hours per day for years, it's not good.
     
    mentorr likes this.
  11. Erod3d

    Erod3d Fapstronaut

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    Id be very surprised if using a computer is the reason why you're not getting erect.

    When was the last time you had a sexual encounter?
     
  12. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been able to recover good erections even after 2 years of a NoFap reboot. How long have you had severe PIED for? Can you go more into detail on whether or not if you have had spontaneous erections that just come and go since starting your NoFap streak? Also, how are you feeling better gradually? Mentally?

    I apologize ahead of time if these questions are annoying/redundant, I just don't know your history with PIED.
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2021
  13. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    My last sexual encounter was 8 months ago (Feb 2021). I made the mistake of attempting to rewire and test my recovery with a female which resulted in an O that sent me back into flatline for a few months. Unfortunately this seems to have been the pattern for me; months 1-5 long flatline, months 5-8 flatline cycle where my libido comes and goes. What seems to happen is that I hit the 8 months mark, suddenly feel a lot better and think I should be good to do. The further along I go, the stronger my libido gets until I get back to that raw libido that brings the urges with it. This is my 3rd streak at 8 months so this time I’m aware of what is to come.

    After looking at my situation more rationally I actually think you’re right. I have been using Morning wood to measure my progress, and I just seemed to notice that days spent using the computer compulsively usually resulted in poor to no morning wood the next day. However I never factored in that I was also sleeping late, spending potentially too long on social media, skipping out days at the gym, not to mention indulging in junk food a little too often. In short, I believe I started to get lazy and ‘slip’. Also I think it safe to say that morning wood isn’t the best indicator of how recovered you are.

    After some self-reflection I think the recent months of recovery haven’t been as tight as they could/should have been and may likely playing a subtle role in recovery.

    Typing this all out for anyone it might help.
     
  14. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    hey @Anonymous, it’s not a problem. The more questions the better.

    I started masturbating around 3 times a day from the age of 15 up until the age of 30. I discovered I had PIED in the same way as most guys, I was about to sleep with a girl I knew I was attracted to and noticed my erection quality was poor. It took me around a year to properly discover what was going on. So in short I had PIED symptoms for a year before I started the reboot.

    Since starting my reboot I have had bouts of morning wood here and there, but the point is that they are never really strong making it hard to confirm where I am in my reboot. For example on day 52 I had 60% morning wood for a few days running, then it disappeared. However for the past 4 months the strongest erection I’ve gotten has been 30%.

    I know I am recovering simply because mentally I am nowhere near as bad as I was 2 years ago. What I’ve found is that on each streak I go on, it’s around the 6 month mark that I start to feel like myself again.

    When I started my reboot originally I struggled severely at work. I would go to meetings and literally have to write my points down word for word otherwise I would forget them. I would sweat profusely before it was my turn to speak and even when it was my turn I’d mess up what I’d written down and forget half the things I needed to mention. What made it worse is that people had noticed this change in me and had no idea as to what is going on. Now I run the meetings, and am asked to give my points last simply because I have so much to say. I no longer need to write my points down and know how to add humour to the conversation without being awkward. This week I was approached by my Director and asked to take on a bigger team. My point is that abstaining is clearly working (even if it is slow) as I have become mentally quicker and sharper than I once was. The commodity at the moment is the sexual side of things. Right now I’m nursing a flatline after boozing slightly too much but despite that I can still feel my libido. I don’t have that raw urge to seek a woman out and ‘rip her clothes off’ so to speak but I am definitely subject to urges if I decide to fantasise. So while I am definitely in a flatline, the libido is there it simply isn’t as strong as it once was.

    What I am trying to get at is that I seem
    to be recovering quicker mentally than I am sexually if that makes sense. I am nowhere near as mentally aware as I was originally and I am ok with that for now, I’m just trying to understand the delay of progress sexually. I was convinced that morning wood would be back by now but I think it just means recovering is going to take a little longer.
     
  15. Selfdiscovery

    Selfdiscovery Fapstronaut

    I too have felt that.I user to have many meetings ,gatherings and conversations but when I was in PMO all was messed up as you said.Now things are much better.One thing was clear that I never had anxiety to talk or take meetings but I will feel bad if I forgot something in between and I felt helpless.i was overlooking that PMO may be the cause!
    This is also very relatable to me.i feel better mentally but still I'm far far away from getting sexually normal.And it's damn slow.God knows when I'll be cured and cross the line.But it works even though very slow.

    lots of peace and luck.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  16. Selfdiscovery

    Selfdiscovery Fapstronaut

    @mentorr may I ask you somethings that:-
    • Did you try rewiring with a real person in these 27 months & if so any improvements in PIED?
    • Is your PIED is related to not getting hard or premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation or any other thing?
    • And did you have any sexual experience before trapping in PMO?
    I can relate myself to the above questions.Srated this addiction at age without any sexual experience and prolonged M for say 11-12 years and later PMO for next 6-7 years for almost 20 years of self abuse.
    And I realised lately that recovery will take time with its own pace.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  17. Guys I've read somewhere in this forum that PIED will be the last thing to go. And it will depend how severe and your use. It is a part of sexual exhaustion which could affect the gut and the reproductive organs, even the stress hormones such as cortisol, adrenal glands.....

    If you have a girlfriend or a wife, you will recover much faster.
     
  18. I mentioned this earlier in the thread but I believe tantric masturbation (or mindful masturbation) has helped me out a lot. It's hard to say with certainty because it's an uncontrolled experiment, meaning I don't know how far along I would be without it. But what I can say with certainty is that it is not hindering my progress.

    This morning I woke up horny so I did some tantra after my coffee and meditation. I managed to achieve two non ejaculatory orgasms and then a third with minor release. Right now I'm not in flatline or anything, I feel amazing.

    I did 21 months straight of semen retention and after getting out of flatline initially my libido was erratic. Sometimes it would be dead downstairs and sometimes randomly I would get crazy horny and need to stop myself from nutting in my pants out of nowhere. Maybe it sounds stupid but I think tantra has helped get the energy moving.

    I'm going to continue this for awhile and if I'm getting progressively better I'll write a separate detailed thread. As of right now I believe it has been helpful to me.
     
  19. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    I started seeing a girl at 3 different points within my first year of recovery. The problem that I had was that i would try to have sex using viagra, which would have little to no effect. I would then try and explain the situation to the girl I was seeing. In 2 cases they just couldn’t get their head around the concept of a guy not being able to get erect which resulted in me pulling away to avoid further embarrassment or hurt of their feelings.

    Do not get me wrong, I believe coming clean to the person you are seeing is the way forward. However in my case, both girls were impatient and wanted to know the time and date I would be able to have sex again.

    I also found that regular Orgasms were gradually setting me back. I would wake up feeling fatigued, have little to no movement downstairs and feel emotionally numb with anxiety once again. I think those of you that have been successful in finding a female that is willing to support you through your recovery, you have actually struck gold. For me I understand what it means to reboot without a female and I am willing to take that route.

    My PIED relates to not getting an erect job AND premature ejaculation. If I was able to have sex right now there is no doubt that ejaculation would take place in the first 30 seconds if not the first 10. However by round 2 I would be fine. I think PE gets better with time.

    In terms of sexual experience before having PIED, yes I would say I have had a lot. I first noticed PIED at 30 and had already had an array of sexual experiences in my young teens and 20s.
     
    Selfdiscovery likes this.
  20. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    Huh? lol

    In everyday life how does a male (and female) naturally make a baby without an erection? The word ‘sex’ literally means ‘to penetrate’ or ‘to prick’.

    I think if this statement were true, half of us would not be here!
     

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