Porn flashes and fantasising on sex

mouton1998

mouton1998

Fapstronaut
Guys, I need your help.
I don't know why but porn flashes come in my mind during the worst moments: sometimes images of p**nstars enter my mind while I'm studying; the same thing happens while I'm having dinner with my parents, or when I go outside with my dog....
Am I the only one who gets something like this? How do you suppress, or at least control it?
Another question:
Although I fill my days with things to do, my mind can't help but fantasize about sex at least once a day (I repeat: sex, not porn).
What I daydream about is me and my fiancée, sometimes an imaginary woman....
So, I wanna ask you: is there a way to control your mind and prevent you from fantasising so frequently, other than physical activities, reading, video calling with friends and cleaning the house (things I already do every day)?
 
I feel your pain man. Same with me. Doesn't matter how much I throw myself into my hobbies or work occasionally I'll just think of a pornstar and its all down hill from there. :(
 
A. Skywalker said:
Guys, I need your help.
I don't know why but porn flashes come in my mind during the worst moments: sometimes images of p**nstars enter my mind while I'm studying; the same thing happens while I'm having dinner with my parents, or when I go outside with my dog....
Am I the only one who gets something like this? How do you suppress, or at least control it?
Another question:
Although I fill my days with things to do, my mind can't help but fantasize about sex at least once a day (I repeat: sex, not porn).
What I daydream about is me and my fiancée, sometimes an imaginary woman....
So, I wanna ask you: is there a way to control your mind and prevent you from fantasising so frequently, other than physical activities, reading, video calling with friends and cleaning the house (things I already do every day)?
Click to expand...

You sound 100% normal to me. If you were staring at women and making them feel disgusted, that would be a real problem. So relax. A bit of fantasy is good. Acknowledge your thoughts and move ahead. If you are fantasizing when you should be studying, talk to yourself. Just say to yourself that fantasy is fine, but this is a time for study, not fantasy. Say it aloud if you have to. It may take some discipline, but it can work. Don't try to bury it with anger, shame, or guilt. Fantasies love it when you act alarmed, it keeps them coming back. Take them in stride and think about that meal you are going to cook for your parents, that book you want to pick up for your fiancee, or how you are going to make someone's day a little better.
 
A. Skywalker said:
Guys, I need your help.
I don't know why but porn flashes come in my mind during the worst moments: sometimes images of p**nstars enter my mind while I'm studying; the same thing happens while I'm having dinner with my parents, or when I go outside with my dog....
Am I the only one who gets something like this? How do you suppress, or at least control it?
Another question:
Although I fill my days with things to do, my mind can't help but fantasize about sex at least once a day (I repeat: sex, not porn).
What I daydream about is me and my fiancée, sometimes an imaginary woman....
So, I wanna ask you: is there a way to control your mind and prevent you from fantasising so frequently, other than physical activities, reading, video calling with friends and cleaning the house (things I already do every day)?
Click to expand...
Everyone has porn flashes. What you do is not react to them. You allow them to come and they will go away on their own.
 
Ogikubo said:
You sound 100% normal to me. If you were staring at women and making them feel disgusted, that would be a real problem. So relax. A bit of fantasy is good. Acknowledge your thoughts and move ahead. If you are fantasizing when you should be studying, talk to yourself. Just say to yourself that fantasy is fine, but this is a time for study, not fantasy. Say it aloud if you have to. It may take some discipline, but it can work. Don't try to bury it with anger, shame, or guilt. Fantasies love it when you act alarmed, it keeps them coming back. Take them in stride and think about that meal you are going to cook for your parents, that book you want to pick up for your fiancee, or how you are going to make someone's day a little better.
Click to expand...

Thank you for the advide @Ogikubo
Anyway, I'm still left with the frustration about fantasising: I think it's slowing down my rebooting... do you think I should prevent any sexual fantasy that comes to my mind? In the end I fear I won't be able to control them...
 
A. Skywalker said:
Thank you for the advide @Ogikubo
Anyway, I'm still left with the frustration about fantasising: I think it's slowing down my rebooting... do you think I should prevent any sexual fantasy that comes to my mind? In the end I fear I won't be able to control them...
Click to expand...
You can’t prevent sexual thoughts it is impossible. You mean you wanna suppress your sexual thoughts because you think if you dwell on them it will lead to a relapse, which is right it would.

However, let’s say you get one of these porn flashes or sexual fantasies w/e and you decide to suppress them by turning your attention to something else. The thought is gonna come back and each time you suppress it, you’re gonna get more and more stressed until you can’t take it and you relapse.

By not trying to think about the pink elephant, you are thinking about the pink elephant. What you have to do is allow the thoughts to come and freely express themselves. In this manner you aren’t attaching yourself to the thoughts and they go away by themselves keeping you in a relaxed state.
 
Yeah I've experienced both the porn flashes and the sex thoughts. So far for me, the best strategy for both has been to just be aware of it when it happens, to avoid getting carried away with it, and to remind myself of why those thoughts are there. In the case of porn flashes, it's the brain adjusting to the change and probably having withdrawals. In the case of the sex fantasies, it's my natural desire for intimacy, and those thoughts could become a reality as long as I stick with NoFap, as opposed to the porn thoughts which are just images from a computer screen. That's an important difference between the two.
 
I agree and I feel that meditation helps with the non-suppression of urges, you just allow the thought to come and go. I think its helpful to remind ourselves that our brains will not be able to concentrate on a thought for a very long time and the urge will pass too.
 
A. Skywalker said:
Thank you for the advide @Ogikubo
Anyway, I'm still left with the frustration about fantasising: I think it's slowing down my rebooting... do you think I should prevent any sexual fantasy that comes to my mind? In the end I fear I won't be able to control them...
Click to expand...

No, I do not think preventing sexual fantasy is good. Encouraging fantasy by looking at porn or enticing images, or observing women too much is a bigger problem.
I do not think your reboot is being slowed down. There is no magic time in which to complete a reboot. A real reboot might takes years and years. You have to be patient. You have to be disciplined & you have to have a strategy.
You have a great opportunity to mature as a man by leaving porn. No, it is not easy or fun, but you can do it. Forget frustration, just focus on your goals.
 
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