procrastination is damaging my life. Need help

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Hard gainer, Aug 15, 2017.

  1. Hard gainer

    Hard gainer Fapstronaut

    152
    116
    43
    Porn has caused mess in my life. But now I got confidence I will get out of it successfully. Thanks to Nofap.
    The second most damaging thing in my life is procrastination. I am a chornic procrastinator. Due to this I have lost many things in my life including opportunity to join my dream college to losing girl friend. I procrastinate on every thing. It doesn't matter even it is small or big. Important or not so important, every thing. I know if I manage to move my ass and start doing a particular thing I will definitely be performing better than most of them doing the same. There are plenty of incidents which happened to be so. But the problem is always procrastinate to start it and end up not doing it. I end up failing without even try a thing.
    I badly want to overcome it. I need help. Is there any therapy or some thing. I came across a web site called rejectiontherapy.com which helps to overcome fear of rejection my means of real life games. Is there any such things to over come procrastination.
    Guys let me know. I really need help.
     
    bro88 and SanityOverVanity like this.
  2. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    The thing that a lot of people misunderstand about procrastination is that how motivated you are isnt really the key thing, its more about self discipline. I used to hate getting up early, but I decided I was going to get up at 9am every morning and go on an hour long walk. Deciding to do that was the sudden burst of motivation, but where the discipline came in was me forcing myself to stick to it even on days with bad weather, even on days where I was tired, even on days where I couldnt be bothered. Eventually my mind got so used to waking up at this time that even when I dont set my alarm I dont oversleep by much, and even feel bad if I skip the walk. This kind of conditioning can be used to do almost anything, use the same neural pathways that got you addicted to PMO and use them to ingrain positive habits instead.
     
    Ajikan and SanityOverVanity like this.
  3. Hard gainer

    Hard gainer Fapstronaut

    152
    116
    43
    Yes I should bring more discipline. I should Definitely work hard because I procrastinate on almost every activity I do( even eating on time). But I am sure I will get out of this mess soon.
     
  4. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I procrastinate a lot so I know how you feel. Just remember every small step is a step towards success.
     
  5. MellowFellow

    MellowFellow Fapstronaut

    Procrastination is quite similar to porn addiction in that it's a common problem that non-sufferers don't know about or understand.

    I really recommend the articles on this site: https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html
    They're funny and hit the nail on the head.

    Disclaimer: I'm not as bad as I used to be but I'm still a terrible procrastinator. In my case I think procrastination is linked to other mental health issues which I'm struggling with.
     
    kropo82 and A41:14A like this.
  6. KennyStephen

    KennyStephen Guest

    Mellow Fellow the article was great and the UTube of Tim Urban of awesome!!!!! It's so me......
    Yes, I do believe that some forms of procrastination center around mental health issues. Tho I am not sure which issues, I hope after Aug 30th when I see my therapist that I will be more enlighten!!!!
     
    MellowFellow likes this.
  7. CompulsiveCrab

    CompulsiveCrab Fapstronaut

    146
    159
    43
    Jordan Peterson
    Don't think you need a therapist. I'm like you, I procrastinate like a mother******. But I found help through this man he has most of one's problems scattered throughout youtube. I clean my room, I do my bed everyday. I have routine dog walk everyday. This guy breaks down everything from being anti social or being lazy. I feel much better now, I can feel myself moving away and taking responsibility. What really triggered this was my mom moving to another state and me staying here with my dad. He's where I got my procrastination from. And I want nothing to be like him at his age .
    My problem with therapy is this is your problem you can discuss it all with a therapist but at the end of the day it's on you to fix yourself and that's a waste of money to me. I think you need to stick around and observe other threads getting posted and absorb the little things that cater to your situation.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2017
    kropo82, jsnow and MercenaryKing like this.
  8. snappedouttafap

    snappedouttafap Fapstronaut

    71
    28
    18
    Procrastination is a habit. The exact moment you "feel" and know you should do something, go do it. Once 5 seconds go by, your mind will automatically try and sabotage what you felt you needed to do. It's really that simple.

    Read the 5 second rule from Mel Robbins
     
  9. Hard gainer

    Hard gainer Fapstronaut

    152
    116
    43
    Really fantastic artical. I have already seen the TED talk of Tim Urban. But this artical is even better and with deep insight. I really love that. It was very useful. I got a better understanding and clarity through that aritcal. It is going help me a lot.
     
    MellowFellow likes this.
  10. Hard gainer

    Hard gainer Fapstronaut

    152
    116
    43
    Yeah. I am also currently working on a tool which is similar to this. The difference is here the time is 3 seconds insted of five. I have read it some where. 3 second is very relevant to me because my brain is so crazy that it can't wait till 5 sec before it change its mind. So I have to work within 3 sec. What I do is, when ever I think I should take a action, I will simply count in my mind three, two, one, go. While saying go I should start doing the thing. This will also be useful in preventing relapse. When ever I feel urge I will think of some other thing in my mind. Next I will count 3 2 1 and start engaging in that task or simply think about that thing. This helps to divert from urges. This is very useful. worthy giving a try.
     
    kropo82 and snappedouttafap like this.
  11. ColdBrew

    ColdBrew Fapstronaut

    29
    32
    13
    Plan out your day in advance.

    Plan to work for 5-10 minutes. Nice way to trick yourself into getting more work done. Getting started is usually the major problem. Once people get past that, they can usually get a good amount of work done. That 5-10 minutes will many times turn into 1-2 hours and all of a sudden you had a very productive day.

    Remember you don't need to get everything done in a day. Chip away at your work a little bit at a time. Consistency is key. Everyday get a little bit done. Don't overdue it. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish.
     
  12. MercenaryKing

    MercenaryKing Fapstronaut

    57
    325
    53
    I've been a chronic procrastinator all my life. Like someone else has already said, Jordan Peterson will help you so much. That and 'tiny habits'.

    If you procrastinate, you know how hard it is to do stuff. So make the bar for success really low. If you're avoiding working out, call doing one set of pushups on your bedroom success. Avoiding meditation? How about 30 seconds of mindful breathing. Tidying? Pick up ONE thing and put it away.

    You start small brother. You gain confidence from the successes and you build on that momentum. Over time, you change the narrative of who you are, until you don't consider yourself so much of a procrastinator anymore.

    Best luck
     
  13. Hard gainer

    Hard gainer Fapstronaut

    152
    116
    43
    That's true. If you ask non-procrastinators they would relate it to lazyness. But actually it is not. If you ask me I will describe it as inertia to change or start something. Once you topple the inertia you get inside a flow.
    The trick is to master the art of toppling inertia.
     
  14. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Great thread, thank you.

    I'd hoped that giving up pornography would fix my procrastination, but I think it is the other way around,

    This app was recommended in a recent Sunday newspaper: https://www.forestapp.cc/en/ You set a time period, e.g. an hour, and a tree (or forest) grows over that period. If you open a different app the tree dies. It would be great to see something that spanned all my devices simultaneously and allowed some apps and websites (Visual Studio Code, Stack Overflow, etc) to run without killing the trees.

    [​IMG]

    This one's great too, "Wasting Time and Opportunitues". It's about following your conscience, but it requires more concentration (at least it did for me)

     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2018
  15. Nevergiveupismygift

    Nevergiveupismygift Fapstronaut

    47
    114
    33
    I can relate your condition, I have 2 talents that I'd found out a few months before I got addicted to porn, those were academically and sports. I had a great self-esteem, I always won in everything even though I was occasionally bullied because I'm a guy with a small body and thick glasses despite my age (but when they found out that I was good at sport , it changed their view towards me). Recently I failed to get to my dream college, I was so depressed, and now I feel like a worthless guy who wasted his own talents. I started nofap for about 4-5 months ago, but I can't even get past day 3 or 5, and now I feel so worthless and full of regrets, I procrastinated a lot because I thought that I shouldn't do anything valuable after relapsing since my mental and physical state is not in it's normal condition, but in fact I did P and M every single day for 1 and a half year. That's when I procrastinated so much and now, even my friends who I was not expected to surpass my academic skill did it. They all surpassed me in every way(sorry for being a bit arrogance here, I'm trying to speak as frankly as possible...). Next week I'm going to have my language exam which is going to be used for me to study abroad in a certain country and I'm still mansturbating A LOT. So, I can really relate your story.. I hope you still there and can read this :)


    *sorry for bragging a lot about my talents and stuff, I know it sounds really terrible and worthless, I am trying to be more open here.. Anyways I'm not telling that I am a special person, I'm just telling how pathetic I am compared to you guys who probably have the same or different talents and managed to use it to its fullest potential :)

    Thanks for reading,
     

Share This Page