Prostitutes over porn - does it help? My experience.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by hunter101, Sep 27, 2019.

  1. hunter101

    hunter101 Fapstronaut

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    Many fapstronauts have asked this question on the forums. I am writing this to share my experience on the subject with you all as i believe it may help you understand your situation better.

    I Iive in Melbourne, Australia where prostitution is legal. There are licensed brothels everywhere. About a year a go i decided to visit a brothel. This was after a relapse from a 10-day streak and porn/ sex was rampant on my mind on that day. Since then i have visited 30 prostitutes and spent $8000 roughly.

    So what effect has it had on my life and NoFap journey? I will touch on the positive and the negative aspects.

    On the positive side, having sexual intercourse with an actual woman rather than a computer (figuratively) has done the following:

    1 - Re-introduced my brain to human touch

    Prior to using a prostitute i had not touched a woman for a year...that really messed with my head and physiology. I beleive due to excessive porn usage...my brain had lost of what it feels like to touch another human. Anytime anyone would touch me,it would throw my brain into overdrive and cause intense anxiety. That does not happen anymore. It feels as if my brain has gradually regained familiarty of touching and feeling warm with people. This has greatly helped my emotional state.

    2 - Grounding

    Since i have started having sex with prostitutes, i have the great sense of grounding. I feel like i am fully in my body. I believe this is directly related to our biological mechanisms. Our bodies and minds have evolved to have sex with real people. When intercourse with a real person happens i believe my mind gets positive rush of neurochemicals which stabilise my overall mental state. This means i am cooler, calmer and collected most of the time in my daily life. I can function normally and get work done.

    On the other hand, i think my brain and body goes into overdrive when under the influence of porn as it has not fundamentally evolved to be able to process fake sexual stimuli which throws me into anxiety and depression.

    3 - Reduced my thoughts about porn.

    Since i started using prostitutes, i dont think about porn as much. I still find my self thinkin about some pornographic images i have seen in the past, but that is gradually vanishing. I have now totally seperated porn and sex in my mind which has helped me calibrate my mind toward actual people. I am actually able to stay away from porn easily now.

    4 - Helped my PIED.

    I believe having sex with actual women has re calibrated my brain to toward actual women and this has helped my PIED. I can actually get hard without anxiety. I believe this is also because of my rigorous excercise which gets the blood flowing.

    Now for the negative side:

    1 - Devaluation of sex, which affects relationships.

    Since this is the biggest negative impact, i will list it first.

    Having sex with prostitutes has devalued sex in such a way that it does not feel special anymore. In my view, sex is a special and deep act to be shared with someone you appreciate. Sex with prostitutes has devalued it which will impact my quality of deep connection with women in the future.

    2 - Have not truly conquered Nofap.

    I believe the whole idea of Nofap is to retain the sexual energy and use it for your higher purpose. In that respect, prostitutes are just a more biologically and physiology compatible avenue for instant gratification. I can function better now, however i still very far from achieving true sexual mastery.
    However, i still feel the superpowers everytime i have reached 30 days.


    3 - Prostitutes are addictive.

    When i started using prostitutes, i thought to myself i would not touch any prostitute after the first time, yet here i am having spent time with 30.....

    For me this is because of the strong grounding effects of sex with a real human.its easy to justify going to a brothel any time i feel ungrounded. this can become very problematic if not kept at bay with an acute sense of awareness

    4 - Guilt and shame

    Everytime i have had sex with a prostitute i have felt that i have taken 2 steps back in my journey. Theres something about paying for sex that comes with
    self disappointment and guilt.

    5 - Negative spiritual effects.

    During the act of sex, i believe there is a strong energetic exchange between man and woman. When i have sex with a prostitute that may have enormous emotional/mental baggage under the hood, i feel like i absorb some of that energy. I then need to spend the next 4-5 days cleaning that energy from my system

    6 - Financial loss

    I have spent 8k on prostitutes. Thats 8k i could have put toward investments or a new car or a vacation or a gift for my parents. It sucks. I am 8k off my financial goals for the year.

    7 - Anxiety about STDs

    I believe this self is self explanatory...

    In summary, using prostitutes is not a solution to anything. Its just replacing a set of challenges with a different set of challenges.I guess you just need to put the idea of prostitutes in reference to your own life and make the decision.

    Personally, prostitutes have helped me regain some primal human qualities but it has definitely taken some away from my higher purpose.

    I hope this helps

    Stay strong kings
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2019
  2. marr708

    marr708 Fapstronaut

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    Your comment about absorbing the good/bad energy from another person through intercourse is very true. There is a deep primal connection that occurs, be it good or bad. I have felt it many times myself. However, until you put it into words, I had never really thought about it.
     
    Consencus and control your life like this.
  3. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut

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    control your life likes this.
  4. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    Did you visit always the same prostitute? If yes, why, if not, why?

    I have visited some prostitutes in the last two years. I have a great tendency to monogamy so I repeat with the same girl so long as I can —they often move city after a while. I have attained very good connection with most of them, they would make me feel special, e.g. sending me texts, inviting me to have dinner, spending more time than stipulated, behaving like a real girlfriend, etc. So I can say they really like me beyond the business transaction or, if they fake it they do a sufficiently good job to make me happy for days and even weeks.

    I do not regret and I will probably keep visiting them —not now because I am abstaining from PMO for at least 90 days– until an ordinary woman that I like accepts me. I have been rejected by around 30 woman in the last 7 years. No one has accepted me. It's tough. It's probably the main reason why my use of PMO sky rocketed.

    So in short, in the last years I found with prostitutes the love that other women have denied me.

    -----
    PS: spending between 50€ and 100€ per visit. Avg. 1 visit a month.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2019
  5. porkchop2

    porkchop2 Fapstronaut

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    Prostitution has done great things for me. There is nothing wrong with it. Nothing to be ashamed of. If I could find cheaper prostitutes I would be a happy man. Unfortunately it's very expensive in Nevada. Believe me $8000 for 30 times is far less than what I spend. That's really the only thing that bothers me about it.
     
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  6. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    I imagine there will be some prostitutes that really are ok with it and who could do something else but like the money. Outside of that, it's got to be a pretty dark world.
    I guess look up prostitutes that really are ok with it, but then every one will seem to be just that, even when there's some bastard making her do it or that her life is a mess.
     
    control your life likes this.
  7. It's TIME to STOPPP

    It's TIME to STOPPP Fapstronaut

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  8. Kexas23

    Kexas23 Fapstronaut

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    no prostitutes! no porn!
     
  9. It's TIME to STOPPP

    It's TIME to STOPPP Fapstronaut

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    yes, strongly agree!
     
  10. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    What about for certain incels? I think they should be allowed to visit a whore.
     
  11. SaturnsSun

    SaturnsSun Fapstronaut

    It sounds like you’ve substituted one addiction for another. For me that would be like kicking heroine by smoking crack.

    “Why, yes, now that you’ve mentioned it, I am a smelly dirty crackhead but I’m no longer shooting heroine. Besides I have more energy now.” *big, toothless grin*
     
    marr708 and control your life like this.
  12. hunter101

    hunter101 Fapstronaut

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    It depends on what you want out of it man. If its just an experience...sure. but if you want to be the best version of yourself...i dont think there is room for prostitutes
     
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  13. hunter101

    hunter101 Fapstronaut

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    I do agree that this approach is not ideal toward the main goal of sexual self master however, i do not think its a one to one substitution due to the following reasons:

    1 - you are not instantly an addict if you have engaged with a prostitute.

    2 - the extra energy you do get can be used to snowball your growth. With the extra energy and grounded-ness i have acheived the following:

    - Multiple 30 day streaks with ease
    - Better social behaviour
    - More grounded in my job as sex is not always on my mind
    - More focus and stregnth toward lifting
    - Less sexual neediness so i can be around women comfortably

    I dont mean to justify the use of prostitutes, but i do refuse to judge it based purely on pre conceived ideas.

    Things i do know for sure :

    - it is not the same as porn.
    - it is not the best route to sexual self mastery.


    I will work off this knowledge to acheive my goal of 90 days and then 1 year - no porn no prostitutes is the ultimate goal.
     
  14. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut

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    I think a very good argument again prostitutes is that with real Semen Retention, you have the possibility to get a real girlfriend.
    Prostitutes are only the replacement for a girlfriend feeling.
    If you retain your Semen you will get all "superpowers" and with that maybe you will get a girlfriend.

    So if you go Monk Mode for a long time and use the superpowers to become a better of yourself and also to approach women, in the end you have a real girlfriend and don't need prostitutes anymore.
    There are many reports, where mens got her first girlfriend or first real sexual experience after a long streak.
    Here is a good explaining:

     
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  15. hunter101

    hunter101 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for asking this question mate...it really got me thinking.

    To answer your question, i do not go to the same prostitute. I have only engaged with one woman 2 times.

    The reason i do not go to the same prostitutes is because of the following reasons:

    1 - I do not visit prostitutes with the expectation to fill an emotional void. It is purely for the physical sexual release. This means that i have not felt the need to engage with a single woman repeatedly to build a connection

    2 - I have always had a desire and curiosity to experience many women. The variety of prostitutes feeds in to that desire / curiosity.

    3 - Possible commitment issues...but thats a whole different story.

    Basically, i have used prostitutes to wean my brain off porn. I am now staying away from prostitutes as well.

    As for rejection from women, i beleive all men need to go through it. Its just a part of how our society is structured. We as men need to continue to push and overcome our fear of rejection and continue to puruse women regardless of how many times we get rejected.

    I guess we just need to ask the vital questions - What is it that i want? Can prostitutes help it?

    Goodluck to you man...stay strong
     
    clapas likes this.
  16. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut

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    That's absolutly real and that's why NoFap can you help you.
    You will fail often times and also get a lot of rejection, but also have a idgaf mentality.
    You will develop confidence and courage, which helps you to approach women.

    If you release continues your brain/body thinks that you are successful and that you don't need to work on you or becoming better.

    Your goal of 365 days without NoFap is the right way. Stay strong and i hope you will be successfull.
     
    hunter101 likes this.
  17. hunter101

    hunter101 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks mate...i wish you strength and success on your journey as well

    We will succeed!
     
  18. SaturnsSun

    SaturnsSun Fapstronaut

    Perhaps you are right.

    What meant by substituting one addiction for another was substituting P addiction for just plain old sex addiction. Maybe all those pros you’re getting from engaging in sex with prostitutes is bc you’re feeding the beast.

    I dated a man who used to go to escorts prior to meeting me. He had lost the ability to socialize with regular women in real life. He also watched P. It was a miserable experience. I didn’t date him for long bc life is too short. I’d never do it again.

    Those are just some of my thoughts and experiences. I’m not judging you at all. You do you, boo.
     
  19. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    The negative effects of porn probably never hit most of us here for at least a year. It takes a few while to rewire the brain (both positively and negatively). Drug addicts, alcoholics etc are the same. It take a period of time for the negatives to kick in.

    Please stop ASAP.

    If you continue then the financial situation could get of of hand, you could get std, the guilt you felt could overwhelm etc.

    I'm sorry if this seems like a depressing view but there is the potential for things to spiral out of control.

    Wishing you the very best my friend
     
    hunter101 likes this.
  20. hunter101

    hunter101 Fapstronaut

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    You are right man...it can easily spiral out of control. True power can only be gained if done the right way - no prostitutes or porn.

    Thank you for your support...i will do what it takes to power through without prostitutes...wish you good luck on your journey as well mate
     

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