Recover from porn..

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by NewLifePls, Feb 9, 2022.

  1. NewLifePls

    NewLifePls New Fapstronaut

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    Hi Guys, I am new here. I heard a lot about this group, and decided to join today. Let me introduce myself.

    I am a 24 year old guy, fit, smart (even got an A in psychology, but still can't really help myself..). I identify myself as straight. From the beginning with porn (around age 12), I was interested in straight porn. But I have made some gay-experiences with an old buddy. We started to jerk off together on (straight) porn, that lead to jerking off eacht other, sometimes oral, and I've done him anal one time. I have never kissed him, because kissing is something so intim and awesome feeling, I just wanted to share with women. It could also be a ''kink'' of me, because I've had a much bigger dick than him. But anyways, that's about 10-12 years ago.

    For some reason, about 2.5 years ago, I've got the sudden thought of might beeing gay. That's when everything went down. I suffered from depression in my childhood/teenage years too, jfyi. Anyways, I got thorugh that quite ok. So, I was always watching a lot of porn, sometimes 3-5x times a day, so jerking off 3-5x a day. As I had that thoughts, I lost it. I thought I was gay for 100%. The stuff I watched (mostly Milf, Stepmom etc.) didnt aroused me anymore. I mean, it aroused me, but I couldnt get hard.. So I started to watch gay-stuff, but didnt got hard there either. Time went by, as I started to watch more and more kinky-pornstuff. Started with foot-fetish, Sissy/Trap/Transwoman, Femdoms, yet I watched even (hard) CBT-stuff. I also went on sites like dirtyroulette, to jerk off on cam, that's where I could get probably the best errection. I also started to do some anal-stuff by myself. I mean, I don't think it's really that for me. For sure not getting it from another dude. I found some Femdoms which ''dominated'' me on cam. So far, I have a GF for 1.5 years now. The first times we attended to have sex, it wasn't working. I've got an errection as we kissed, I licked her, but as soon as I put the condom on, puff, my lil buddy went back. I tried some medicament for about 3-4 months, and it helped. Today I can have sex with her, without any medicaments. The fact that I got aroused and horny by here, sometimes just watching her gettin undressed if my proof, for not being gay.

    Anyway, today is my first day of NoFap. Be honest, can I get rid of those ''online-fetishes'', kinky stuff, if I stop watching damn porn? I am exhausted at the moment. I didn't talk my girl about it yet. But as I say, I love her and she arouses me.

    Sorry for that long ass text and maybe some bad english skills, haha.. I'm happy about anyone who's experienced same stuff like that. Maybe there's already a thread about it or something else?

    It crushed my self-esteem, and I had a big and healthy self-esteem, before everything happend. Really here to get cured about that porn shit, and maybe get some answers/reflections of you guys.

    Sorry if that's the wrong room.

    Peace and love
     
  2. monttai

    monttai Fapstronaut

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    You are what you feed your brain with, if you gonna feed them with all kind of kinky stuff it will ask for more. Stop feeding them with porn and everything gonna go back to normal.
    I was also heavy porn user and I got to the point where I enjoyed transwoman porn better than normal porn. I haven't watched porn for 31 day now and I can feel all that nasty crap is slowly fading away and I start to feel like a normal human being again.
    I would suggest to keep away from that stuff and everything is gonna be just fine.
     
    Abel100%, M arjunan and NewLifePls like this.
  3. trylifeagain

    trylifeagain Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, man! This is do-able.

    I would say that I really appreciate you giving a type of biography or geneology of where all of your difficulties and erectile dysfunction is coming from. However, for some users that will probably be a trigger. In the future, maybe you can just put a little disclaimer at the top of your post so that some users can avoid reading if they feel it will take them into an uncomfortable place.

    I'm a bit over ten years older than you. Don't get caught up in a type of anxiety if you have a slip-up. I like the idea that your nofap vow or promise to yourself, or goal, if you want to put it that way, is always renewable every 24 hours.
     
    NewLifePls likes this.
  4. NewLifePls

    NewLifePls New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks dudes.

    I am sorry for that! Didn't thought about triggering anyone, if that's the case, I am really sorry!
    If still anyone knows a thread or something else, similar about this, I'd be thankfull too.
     
  5. NewLifePls

    NewLifePls New Fapstronaut

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    Anyone who went through that stuff was dreaming some gay-stuff? I am on day 4 now, and was dreaming about my old jerk buddy. But in my dream I didn't want to do that and tried to escape this situation. Waked up and felt horrible. Happy for any advices how to get thorugh this first, hard days.
     

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