Relapsed big time after 6 months in 'hard mode'

Hello fellow Fapstronauts,

I've collapsed big time, after being cca 180 days without sex and P, M, O. I was very much afraid of that. I developed chronical physical pain in right groin area, which was getting worse, so I've decided to release tension with mb-ing to orgasm. I was hooked to vicious compulsive mb circle, just a few days after release. I mean, things really got out of control this time around, not sleeping for days, hours long compulsive PMO for a week or even more... I stopped counting. Being glued to computer screens most of the time to complete physical and mental exhaustion. How crazy is this? Bloody hell, I knew this would happen as soon as I started mb again as it has happen to me twice before after I completed 90 days hard mode streaks.

I'm going back on track with hard mode now, but this time around I'll also limit my computer and phone use to only 13 webpages I need for work and that's it. No mindless news web browsing, social media, YouTube, games, movies etc anymore. I've realized I'm as much addicted to news media as I am to PMO. I will use my spare time for books reading and enlist in 3 months triathlon training program. That should keep me out of trouble.

 

Thanks for support.

I've just 'tabed' those pages in web browser as top sites. hopefully I'll go nowhere else. If that doesn't work, I'll use K9 to block everything except those 13 pages. I've stopped using smart phone and replace it with regular.

 

It did. It was completely gone after second orgasm. I don't think total celibacy is healthy in the long term.

 

I didn't go, I just had a release without p. Maybe that was a mistake. I was afraid I couldn't control my mb, but thought maybe this time will be different, well it was not. After so many years of compulsive mb, healthy release routine is obviously out of my reach.

 

Did you have any wet dreams during that period (I assume sex was a no go per se)? I had none, maybe that was the problem.

 

Zero edging or P viewing for 6 months. Problems started around 170 days. I had terrible physical side effects (constant headaches, feeling sick etc., constant fatigue, insomnia) from 2 weeks into rehab till reaching 3-4 months mark. But this pain was different. It was very strong and persisting to the point I was afraid to have an orgasm. I didn't know if it would make things worse. Thankfully it helped. In one of my previous 90 days streaks, I experienced pain after reaching 100 days and first orgasm was also very painful. I don't know what was causing this pain.

 

Thanks man, I really appreciate your support.

 

I don't know what it was, all I know it was painful as hell. I consulted with my personal doctor, but didn't get any diagnosis from her. She wanted to make an appointment with urologist. Waiting time is 3 or more months for non-life-threatening symptoms in our shitty healthcare system. I didn't want to wait that long, so I had a release to see if abstinence was the cause of pain and it turns out it was.