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Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by LK1, Oct 26, 2019.
I want to get a wife from Estonia.
so if they split the bill she’s not working as a prostitute ...but if he is a gentlemen (in his words) and picks up the bill then magically he puts her back into the “prostitute genie bottle?”
So....If she pays— then does he become the sex worker ? Your logic is really baffling.
I disagree with “most women would split the bill”—- that’s a generalization that holds true in first-world countries. But even with demographics and socio economics aside (women make less than men globally), That’s not the majority by a long shot.
the bigger question your attitude raises is:
Do people who have worked as sex workers want and deserve to be treated as humans?
should we quarantine them so that nobody talks to them?
Is there a country (like Australia ) they can be shipped to so that nobody will treat them to a dinner ?
The fact you cannot get past her sex worker stigma says more about your objectification of her—no matter what in your mind she’s a sex object and always will be.
Seems like you have a good amount of skepticism so you don't have oneitis (good!).
I recommend identifying exactly what kind of relationship you want, and its limitations, and don't string her along if her ideal is more than what you're willing to do.
There's nothing wrong with seeing her. Some women, especially ones from poor backgrounds, see no other choice, and I don't blame her. She's still a person and she deserves to be given a chance, despite her choice of a job. The only thing I'd be concerned about is boundaries. If you're planning to start dating her properly you should ask her to stop and find another job that's not sex related. If I were in your position and I started dating her but she remained an escort, I'd count it as cheating, even if it's supposed to be her job it's not something I'm personally comfortable with. If you have no problem with it though by all means knock yourself out.
Well not everyone can be John McAfee. Dude married a prostitute.
My Dad left my Mom. He married a prostitute.
Let me say something: prostitutes live a crazy life. They pick up many behaviors that can be problematic, and when things get hard, they often run because that is what they had to do on the street. And this is just about the better girls. This isnt including the low life trashy girls out there either.
Good women or bad women, when it comes to prostitutes this is true:
"You can take the girl out of the country, but you cannot take the country out of the girl."
Remember that. Its true.
don't mind your family. A prostitute can be a loyal woman too.
i see your reasoning. She probably has the same reasoning. I have been in the position you are in but it made me ask myself a lot of questions.
firstly (for me) not for the girl:
Do I care about fidelity ? As long as she works she cannot get upset with me that I have other women.
What are your thoughts on fidelity ?
Secondly — my question is about respect. These women (like their clients oftentimes) usually have double lives and frankly it’s why I identify with them so strongly. The “good girls trapped in this “ do. Nobody knows their double life. Their kids are kept in the dark as is their family etc. I recognize chicks on Instagram or free hoes are far more toxic from a relationship standpoint because money will not resolve their problems. Those need attention as their currency. So all things being equal I understand your attraction.
I like that you drew a line “I’m not going to save her “.
On one side it forces her to admit she can never have you as a client. Which is good in the traditional sense ...
on the flip side you have to consider how Much will you respect her when her luck changes and she is able to be successful in spite of her current choice of profession. Some former adult actresses never regain respect because of their past. They have people like ultrafavver who constantly throw it in their face like a Shitty bankruptcy. The question is —- can you see past it when it’s truly in the past?
thirdly — love leads to sacrifice. Maybe not now , but do you see this leading you towards some kind of sacrifice ?
If you can then you may have to admit at some point saving may not be what you will call it but you won’t want to be apart.
If it’s just convenience for you as you travel ... then you probably genuinely like each other granted , but the relationship will last as long as a the sex is good or the emotional high is maintained.
either way I wish to hear how it goes. Keep sharing friend.
keep porn out of your life too. Don’t let it take any more of your life.
Some good questions here brother. To answer on fidelity she got very upset when I met up with another woman for the night, I was honest with her about it and she saw it as a betrayal. I felt quite bad and am not sure I will be doing it in future.
Regarding the past I'm not sure how that will pan out.. I guess time will tell. I know there will definitely be some sacrifices.. there have been a few already.
The trip went well. 5 days together just relaxing.. I didn't even spend that much money we spend most of our time indoors drinking beer, cooking and having sex along with a few touristy things here and there. It was really fun and the time flew by
She decided to stay in the city we visited after I left and work there for a week or two. So on the last day of the trip she brought me along to the 'brothel' or 'sex house' that she was going to be living and working out of for the week. I spent a few hours there before my flight home we chilled out cooked a meal and had sex once there before saying our goodbyes. I never thought i'd find myself chilling in a whorehouse like that, it was quite funny there was a transexual couple working there and a Russian woman working out of one of the other rooms. All in all an interesting trip haha
I have to admit, this sounds like a nightmare scenario in the making... I guess it depends on how comfortable you are with the idea that you're probably not the only person she's engaging with like that. I can't pass judgement because I don't know you or the circumstances, but I got some red flags from your description of her possessive nature etc.
Have a read through this if you're inclined, it might help you assess how things pan out over a longer period of time. As many here have mentioned, the 'long con' is a pretty tried and tested method of manipulation- if it means that you end up handing over thousands of dollars or providing an income stream, she may well be happy building on the plan for months, if not years. I'm mainly replying because this seems like one of those too good to be true kinda scenarios.
Thanks for your concern buddy, of course as I said before this is all in the back of my mind. I won't hand any money over.
Just enjoying the ride for now.
I have been in a similar type of situation. Don't do it. First of all, it sounds like you are like me. You like to "save" people. It makes you feel like the hero and you think you'll get a lifetime of devotion and loyalty back. People aren't like that. People are generally fucked up and it's naive to think that they will change for you.
Second, a lot of women who become escorts get addicted to the money even if they hate the lifestyle. Even if you're educated, it's very hard to get into a position where you get hundreds of dollars for a couple of hours work, especially when you don't have any specific skills. And you don't need to be especially beautiful or sexy to find men who will pay you to sleep with them. Most escorts are just normal girl next door types. There's even a niche category of ugly escorts because some guys are into that. In other words, just like some guys get addicted to escorts, some women get addicted to escorting. Third, there are actually lots of normal women out there. They may be harder to find, they may come with their own issues, but at least you don't have to work through the issues that comes from having been an escort. Fourth, escorts see a lot of very shitty people, so they become cynical, hard, manipulative people themselves, especially the ones who stay in the industry. You may never be able to fully trust her. I could go on... You may think I'm being an asshole for saying all these things, but just like porn addiction, we are very good at rationalising our bad decisions, and sometimes you need an outsider to be the asshole if your own brain isn't being critical about the choices you're making. I wish someone had told me what a fuck wit I was for getting addicted to porn
I have been in a relationship with a worker who I learned a lot about the environment. I say that to de-shame the conversation; not necessarily to encourage it. At the end Of the day everyone wants companionship.
when the money dries out or the body ages we still want someone who won’t judge us, love us , and share and care.
i don’t have any further advice given you guys are fairly self aware.
Hahah lol...... I think half of the guys ( including me) are thinking whether it is A problem. Atic behavior at all???? Or it's a hit / reward after no PMO....