Ok, so I am coming to terms/getting over the shock that I have an addiction to gay porn and that I have HOCD! I am now on day 4 of no PMO and the ugly head of addiction has been on overdrive! Mainly at night which was "my time" and some time during the day when I get really intense cravings to turn on the laptop and bash one out! So far to overcome this I have began reading at night to distract myself and help me get tired enough to sleep and during the day I have began taking the dog for a walk to distract myself or going for a run! Both are new to me and I really hope I can keep up!!
However, the HOCD is a struggle, I currently work in retail and a lot of men come into the shop that I have to talk to which is a small bit of an issue because I can't stop thinking of "what would they look like naked?", "I wonder do they think i'm gay" etc etc... I have it in my head that I am asking myself these questions a lot more and I am also finding myself thinking of doing things a lot more, it's like I have a demon in my head who is like "do it, do it, give in" or something I cant really explain it properly, overall its like something is clawing at every small thought I have wanting me to hook?
I just want to know whats the best way to approach this habit or obsession? I know it may possibly take time but I just don't know if I am approaching it right or not... when I have these thoughts/questions I instantly go "Stop questioning/thinking it's just the HOCD" and if I find myself just staring I look away and go "No it's just an obsession"... now I have read the best way to approach HOCD is to give into it and explore it but if I do this I am afraid I am feeding the porn addiction in some way! One piece of advice on a website was to watch gay porn, but if I do that it is just going to continue the loop and leave me in this horrible nightmare! I am just in a bit of a "what next" phase! But I am 100% committed to kicking this once and for all! Help and advice is very much appreciated!
Thanks,
Ryan
However, the HOCD is a struggle, I currently work in retail and a lot of men come into the shop that I have to talk to which is a small bit of an issue because I can't stop thinking of "what would they look like naked?", "I wonder do they think i'm gay" etc etc... I have it in my head that I am asking myself these questions a lot more and I am also finding myself thinking of doing things a lot more, it's like I have a demon in my head who is like "do it, do it, give in" or something I cant really explain it properly, overall its like something is clawing at every small thought I have wanting me to hook?
I just want to know whats the best way to approach this habit or obsession? I know it may possibly take time but I just don't know if I am approaching it right or not... when I have these thoughts/questions I instantly go "Stop questioning/thinking it's just the HOCD" and if I find myself just staring I look away and go "No it's just an obsession"... now I have read the best way to approach HOCD is to give into it and explore it but if I do this I am afraid I am feeding the porn addiction in some way! One piece of advice on a website was to watch gay porn, but if I do that it is just going to continue the loop and leave me in this horrible nightmare! I am just in a bit of a "what next" phase! But I am 100% committed to kicking this once and for all! Help and advice is very much appreciated!
Thanks,
Ryan