Seven days, now what?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by eardog, Jul 16, 2018.

  1. eardog

    eardog Fapstronaut

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    Seven days is the longest I’ve gone in my recovery. I have the day off and I’ve got things I can do around the house, but I believe it’s a better idea for me to go run around. The urge is strong and I’d like to get 14 days. That would be freaking awesome, wouldn’t it? I think it would be nice to stay home and not be afraid of PMO, but I don’t feel that strong. Thoughts? Direction?
     
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  2. SanSolo

    SanSolo Fapstronaut

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    Now what? Day 8!

    Don't spend too much time alone. You are already on the right track there. If you feel the urges are too much, GET OUT! Go be around other people.
     
  3. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    Don't look at days the way that you do. Its not a matter of "14 days would be awesome" its about today, the current moment, the current urge. It doesn't matter if you've been clean for 7 days or 7 weeks, all that matters is not fucking up today.

    Keep that mentality everyday, that the only thing that matters in a given day is to not fuck up. The past and future have no influence on it all that matters is now.

    Counting days or looking at streaks does nothing but bad in my opinion.

    It can lead to this where you ask the question of "What now" because a part of your mind probably feels like "I made it to my goal, now I can PMO" or something to that effect.

    It very commonly leads to people not even making it a week because either consciously or subconsciously they have the mentality of "Im only a few days in, a relapse now isn't a big deal. I'll just do that and have a fresh start" or similar things to that. Main point being that they feel like relapse in that moment isn't a big deal or "this will be the last time, then I'll stop" things like that which keeps them trapped in a cycle.

    It also (sadly) is very common to completely destroy someone who was doing really well. They go a long stretch of time clean, few weeks, months, whatever, then have a slip up and reset the counter to 0. At that point they feel horribly demoralized because they have the mentality of "Im back to day 0, all my progress is gone" and because of that combined with the counter being on a low number they relapse again and again, so they're back in the cycle.

    The worst part about that situation is that they weren't even back to day 0 after that 1st fuck up, not even close. But they think they are so they keep relapsing and falling even further into the hole which then does bring them back to day 0.

    In reality they didn't actually lose that progress after the 1st relapse so if they just got up and kept going they'd be in a great spot but instead they get destroyed because some stupid number which has no meaning got to them mentally.

    A similar thing happens when guys have some small insignificant fuck up (See a picture, look at a girl, wet dream, peek at some stuff etc) and then count that as a "relapse" and reset that pointless counter. Either that or they make a post asking "Is this a relapse?" (seriously I see that exact post daily) and get a garbage response telling them to reset which then inevitably leads to that shitty mentality and relapse.

    Ive seen these things happen so many fucking times, even to myself and its so stupid. All this shit being caused by a number and a mentality...

    You can read this if you like https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ner-considered-a-relapse.178754/#post-1535885

    Don't let these things happen to you. Treat every day the same, as if its the only day that matters and just fight. The only day that matters is the current one, the past and future have no influence on it. All that matters is today.

    Congrats on 7 days! Keep it going! Good luck man and stay strong!
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2018
  4. Blossom

    Blossom Fapstronaut

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    Keep yourself busy enough so you won't have the chance to even think about watching porn/masturbating.
    Call a friend / go to the beach / take a walk to the store and buy something / read a book / clean your room
    work out / take a shower
    from this point it'll only get better bro.. good job!
     
  5. Max Fisher

    Max Fisher Fapstronaut

    @JJackson, super good post. I'll tuck that in my back pocket.
     
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  6. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    Appreciate it man!
     
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  7. eardog

    eardog Fapstronaut

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    @JJackson Thank you for taking so much time and making the effort to remind me that getting hung up on the days can lead to major disappointment. No PMO isn’t s life or death the way drugs and alcohol were for me. There’s flexibility and the goal of a normal sexuality. Still, completing a week of no PMO is a big deal. Completing 14 will also be a big deal. 90? Shit, that will be amazing. I’ve no doubt that I’ll reach that goal. Still, your mention of getting so hung up on days that it becomes an obstacle to recovery is spot on and the reminder is well appreciated. I’ve been clean for 5-1/2 years and although drugs and alcohol are a little different than PMO, one day at a time is still very much relevant.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2018
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  8. eardog

    eardog Fapstronaut

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    This.

    I got up and got out of the house. I went to the coffee shop and spent 4 hours on my business plan. Got a lot done. By the time I got home the urges were gone or controllable. Thanks for the support.
     
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  9. eardog

    eardog Fapstronaut

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    Day 8! Boom! Killed it. I did exactly what you’ve recommended. Spent about 3-4 hours at the coffee shop working on my business plan. Got a lot done. Next thing you know day 8 has come and gone. Thanks for the support.
     
    Immature likes this.
  10. GoodFeeling

    GoodFeeling Fapstronaut

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    Good job dude! I'm on day 11 of no MO and 21 of no PMO. One day at a time it gets easier when I'm thinking how much this will improve my sex life!
     
  11. Blossom

    Blossom Fapstronaut

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    you're welcome bro, good job :)
     
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  12. jedimaster

    jedimaster Fapstronaut

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    Very effective reply. Thanks for helping
     
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  13. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    No problem man, glad it helped!
     
  14. JensonIknora

    JensonIknora Fapstronaut

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    Indeed. Always live in the moment, like Buddha teaching. What's in the past and future cannot control by us. We can only think about now.
     
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  15. jedimaster

    jedimaster Fapstronaut

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    very well said
     
  16. Smiletron

    Smiletron Fapstronaut

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    Jjackson that was the best nofap comment iv ever and probably will read , reading that alone i think would help alot of people.
     
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  17. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    you should ask yourself this question after 90 days, not after 7.
     
  18. bobbiebob

    bobbiebob Fapstronaut

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    Two words, carry on.

    Look forward, put pmo away from your brain forever, and continue your life.
     
  19. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    Wow, thank you man! That really means a lot to me, much more than you realize. Thanks!
     
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  20. Goingtodothis21

    Goingtodothis21 Fapstronaut

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    Great stuff man, yeah I'm about six weeks in now and I've got a round of golf booked for Saturday, reading books in the evening as well going for runs during the week. It's essential to get enthusiastic about other more productive hobbies and activities. Porn is NOT going to win anymore!
     
    Lakerfan49 likes this.

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