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Shame and Guilt over PMO

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Aug 2, 2018.

  1. Now that I am becoming clean of the addiction, I read and I learn more about the backgrounds of pornstars and prostitutes. So today I opened my app Brainbuddy and I read the downside of pornography:

    For viewers, pornography can appear to be a fantasy world of pleasure and thrills. For those working in the porn industry, however, their experiences are often filled with drugs, disease, slavery, trafficking, rape and abuse.

    I am 24 years old now, began watching porn since i was 11/12 years old and was addicted to PMO, prostitutes, swingersclubs and sexpartys. I never had a girlfriend, because of rejection when i was 14/15 years old and had social anxiety at that time. Also all my fantasies became from porn. I went in rehab for my sex addiction and was 16 months clean, but two weeks back i relapsed.

    The porn I first watched did not excite me anymore and I always had to look harder and extreme things. Only then could I enjoy and be satisfied.

    I did not care about their emotions, feelings and pain. I saw them as objects on which I masturbated, purely for my pleasure and satisfaction.

    Now I feel the feelings of shame and guilt, because I have partly contributed to maintaining these conditions.

    But the feelings of shame and guilt keep me in this position and do not give me real liberation of the addiction.

    How do you deal with the feelings of shame and guilt?
     
  2. AlmostRosey

    AlmostRosey Fapstronaut

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    Take some comfort in knowing that this isn't entirely your fault. The world today is a strange place. There are millions of videos available to watch for free! All humans are curious. For some people, like most of us on these forums, our curiosity takes us too far. But we are victims of our society too. P shouldn't be so readily available. Those making the videos are banking on all of our addictions continuing.

    Combat the feelings of shame and guilt by realising that you are an awesome person for simply realising that there is an issue. And at this time in our lives, when P is so readily available and free, you have had the willpower to say no. No that's not for me. And no I don't want to contribute to that industry anymore. Small actions and small decisions can have huge consequences.
     
  3. RememberAndRegret

    RememberAndRegret Fapstronaut

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    It's normal to feel shame and guilt for these disgraceful activities for a person who actively seeks for them. However, you no longer want this addiction, and are trying to break free, which is all a person who is in this position can do. Whatever person you were in your past who did this isn't you anymore, and you have changed to try to be better. So realize that you have no reason to feel guilt or shame for trying your hardest to stay clean. Also, like Rosey said, the world today is hypersexualized and it can be hard to resist in such a toxic environment, that profits off the miserable and disgraceful actions it tells people to do.
     
  4. slink123456

    slink123456 Fapstronaut

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    One thing I’ve been doing for the last 2 days is ask myself a 3 word question and it really works when you think too much about past PMO.

    “Is it important?”

    The answer: Not really.

    It’s a technique I’ve been using to think more about the present, what are the most important things in your life. It could be anything, from family, friends, your job, your dog, your health, your TV, your talent, anything.

    In the wider world yes it is a problem, but by going no porn or PMO yourself you are recognising what porn does and you’re doing something about it.

    Ask yourself this question whenever you feel the shame or guilt. Doing this over time, should definitely remind you to put everything into perspective and help you to let go of the past a little more.

    “The past doesn’t even exist” “It was real at one time, but right now it no longer exists, it’s not actually real and it is now gone”.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2018

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