Soon to be 40 year old virgin, failed as a man, what am I??

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Aug 28, 2019.

  1. Shane@99

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

    God is with you Man !!!
    just start , and follow all as given in my status .

    I bet in 6 months , your life will change and you will start noticing from 6 days only
  2. TheGambler

    TheGambler Fapstronaut

    Well he deleted the account but I'll still add my .02 cents. I just spoke with my buddy who started in a 'relationshit', about how looking back it felt like being a leper not having had sex when I was 23. And I ended up paying for it as well. In retrospect it would be awesome to be a virgin bc there's actually no shame at all compared to failed relationships. You could have the most integrity, and if a relationship fails you somehow blame yourself.

    A loser isn't someone who fails, its someone who doesn't try. So from that standpoint I'm a serial winner.
    safa61947 likes this.
  3. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

    Think however you like. To me, having kids is not equal to a win. You'll die miserable, poor, sick and your kids will be poor and maybe marginals. Having kids should be a right reserved for those who can properly raise them.

    I am stating my opinion here. There's no need to rebate if you disagree.

    Having kids you can't afford perpetuates the cycle of misery in this world, everybody is unhappy, even the beings you bring to the world.

    You mention this "biological standpoint", I wonder what relevance such has in real life in face of the facts stated.

    I can see why you think having kids is something desirable, but you should consider "how" you are bringing children to this world. Having a crippled kid who will fail in life, just as much as you will be unhappy, and give up your dreams in order to bring someone who didn't want to be here in the first place, and you'll throw in your partner's face if you have one, how much you gave up in order to realize this "victory" is not a good thing, it's not a win.

    I would also argue that the "biological victory" would be raising successful kids who also will be on the top themselves. Offspring of an alpha male, I would say. Not having kids in whatever manner just because one is supposed to.
  4. Homelander

    Homelander Fapstronaut

    I'm 39, married, kids, visited many prostitutes in my life and oh yes I have PIED. Don't get too pressured with the whole virgin thing.

    The most easy method to get a good girlfriend is to be rich, but if you are not rich or gifted with extraordinary powers you will have to
    work on yourself. Be honest to yourself and note down all your flaws and all your good attributes.
    Then you need to pick a few attributes your are going to work on to make yourself a more suitable mating partner.

    I don't know how good looking you are and some people really have been dealt a bad genetic card, but I believe
    most men can do a lot by the following personal tips:

    1. don't be fat, never be fat.
    > eat clean, work out 5 days a week, sleep 8 hours a day. Do intermittent fasting if its too difficult
    2. don't have bad teeth
    > take good care of your teeth and get it fixed if its a mess
    3. get a full-time job
    > women don't like unemployed men, so go out and find a job
    4. get well dressed and groomed
    > throw away all your old shitty cheap ass clothing and go for slimline classic look, but do this after you lost your fat.
    5. don't wear glasses, unless you look great with them
    > wear lenses or get your eyes lazered
    6. Get a good hobby
    > find a interesting adult hobby you can be very passionate about instead of being a boring nerd.
    hobbies like: Iron man(not marvel dog shit), sculpturing, traveling, salsa dancing, etc.
    7. be social person
    > If you find it difficult to talk casual with attractive women, then practice being social with everybody.
    Do volunteering projects in your local area or get busy with people you met with your new hobby.
    8. Read news papers and books
    > be aware of the world and the situation around you. This makes you able to talk about almost every actual subject
    9. surround yourself with good people
    > it's better to have zero friends than to hang around loser buddies that will only drag you down, because misery always loves company.
    10. Stop watching porn and stop masturbation
    > this is an obvious step considering this forum, but its an important one.
    11. Be a positive person
    > Women don't like men who complain a lot, so be the sunlight in their life and cherish every living moment of life.
    12. Stop looking to a screen all day
    > Try to withold yourself from a screen(pc,phone,tv) as much as possible. This means less/no Facebook, whatsapp, instagram, nofap (forum), gaming, netflix, etc.
    13. Travel alot
    > Don't be afraid or ashamed to travel solo. Go see the world it will only enrich you
    14. Seek real female help
    > find a friend-zoned women and ask her for tips into making you a more suitable mating partner.

    Please note that I don't want to offend anybody with these somewhat harsh points.
    Just read it and find what you can use. We can't all be James Bond perfect guys, but at least you can thrive to be a better version of you
    compared to yesterday. Of course women themselves are also suffering from a shitload of flaws, but you can only fix your own flaws, so fix it.

    You can always DM me for personal help if needed.
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2019
  5. Ill let all the virgins in on a little secret......

    It really is. Its nothing like the glorified, unrealistic scenes in porn. And all the people that brag about their sexcapades and make it seem that they are some mythical sex machine, thats all BS too.

    In the confines of a real loving relationship between 2 people (preferabely marriage) sex can be a beautiful intimate exchange.

    But outside of that... sex is just sex. Its an animalistic act for reproduction. Yes it can be fun and exciting but its really not that big of a deal and never really meets that expectation that we expect from society and media.

    Dont be so hard on yourself.
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  6. Homelander

    Homelander Fapstronaut

    Well I would NOT state that real loving sex is overrated, because having sex with someone you love
    is one of the best things in a loving relationship.
    At this special moment two people really connect with each other and create an paramount bound.
    Unfortunately for us PIED guys, this often is not the case and therefore we have to fix ourselves before
    we are going to experience this again or even for the first time.

    But yes, the fake porn style sex acts are far from reality, although they serve a different role.
    I can grab my coat and buy sex within 30 minutes, but I do not crave sex, I crave love and more importantly
    I want to give my love to a deserving woman. However, my animal urges need to be kept in check and
    therefore I'm here with you lads :)
  7. DudeWithHope

    DudeWithHope Fapstronaut

    I agree with this statement. And this is coming from a guy who got married as a a virgin at the age of 31.

    There are many benefits in waiting for your wife and being each other's first, but I do indeed believe that we overrate sex a lot, especially with all the misconception that we get from media, pornography and all the crazy stupid stuff we watch that makes us feel so excited. We put sometimes a lot or ALL of our expectations in our partner or the act of sex, but once it happens we realize that it is not all that which we had imagined, at least at first(my case).

    Yes, indeed SEX is an amazing thing between two people, especially between a husband and a wife that love each other and I live that pretty much every day or every other day (lol) but one should not think that once they marry all their crazy passions, desires, fantasies and crazy desires is all just going to go away because they won't.

    What we need to do is constantly discipline ourselves to avoid going back to our old behaviours and desires because sex does indeed help with those things but it does not take them away completely. Sex is Great but it's not a magical pill.

    I feel that doing life in two is filled with more great moments and pleasures than just sex and sex simply complements that.
    I am indeed working on ways to spice up our marriage but I know that for a fact I use to think that SEX would be this out of this world experience and that I would just go crazy when I saw my woman and had her for myself, while part of that is indeed true and trust me when I say that there is nothing better than getting married to an amazing woman and having her for yourself, but that's just one small tiny percentage of the equation. And there are many variables that still need to be taken into account.

    Stopping PMO was INDEED the best decision ever that changed my sex life and that indeed makes all the difference.

    I've PMO maybe 4 times over the past 9 months and I knwo soon I'll be going years without it and I've learned not to beat myself up if PMO for some stupid reason. We just shouldn't duel in our mistakes and always work hard to do better for ourselves and our partners. God bless!
  8. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

    There is no excuse for any man to not read "As a man thinketh" since it is filled with great messages about the universal mind (or God) and how your thoughts and thinking affect your life more than anything else.
    Also, it won't take a very long time to read through it as well and it shouldn't be done just once but preferably several times so the messages get ingrained to your subconscious mind which will have a huge impact on your self-image and how you approach life. Especially how you approach life when it become hard or challenging.
  9. TheGambler

    TheGambler Fapstronaut

    I concur, short, easy read, a great one.
  10. Greenbeans76

    Greenbeans76 New Fapstronaut

    I haven't Ben with a woman in 8 years I've Ben on two dates my whole life and never had a girlfriend. reading through this thread actually makes me less depressed. and gives me even another reason to not be so reserved and as introverted with women.
    FX-05 and TheGambler like this.
  11. TheGambler

    TheGambler Fapstronaut

    You have my vote for best profile picture.
    browneyedguy and Greenbeans76 like this.
  12. Jrmz94

    Jrmz94 Fapstronaut

    3 it's really not that big of a deal. It's just sex. You need to focus on improving yourself. You're not alone. I'm 25 still a virgin.

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