Stop seeing woman or sex as a center my life

Hello guys, I am 30 years old and just made up my mind to stop seeing woman or sex as a center to life or to define what will be my next years. Free myself of desire and even lust when seeing a woman in the street or being around sexy woman be like a child-men taking all my attention towards the female......how beautiful she is, and all that I stared all the time as many of my brothers do. Enough! My story is a hard journey this is why I think I made and put woman as a holy award. I am a virgin and never had a girlfriend been called gay even some people think that I am a closeted gay, been two times very close of having a girlfriend but it really didn't work. I only kissed a girl once I was so nervous and I had been drinking. All type of physical contact brings me nervous cause I am not comfort with these feelings that is why having pleasure for me is addiction to PMO. I hope this forum will help me overcome PMO and that I live more free seeing woman as just that and living my goals in life independent of finding someone to complete my soul.

 

A curious thing I discovered is that the problem is actually the male orgasm and how we think of it. In my mind, without thinking, I turn it into this sublime, must-have thing. And this drives all my sexual insanity, neediness, self-destructiveness. I find I can even allow myself sensuality in my thoughts (in fact I feel I need to otherwise I start getting erotic dreams). But in my thoughts, I keep this sensuality respectful and clean. Not a maneuver or precursor to orgasm. Orgasm is the death of sensuality. And outside a procreative relationship is abuse of self and abuse of others. I find that reorienting myself in this way gives me incredible freedom. I am no longer triggered by women I find attractive. And I no longer seek to be triggered by them. I find it possible to be much more open and kind with women and I don't mind whether they reciprocate or not.