We're with you man. Sorry to read that you fell. It seems when we are in our best place on top of the world, we are most at risk of falling. At least that is what happened to me, and it looks like that might have happened to you too. Coming straight back onto this site and being accountable is very worthy of praise though, so a huge well done for getting back on the saddle - this is more the mark of a warrior than any fall
Day 16, Back to a Hobbit! Being challenged here over the past few days. Mounting stress. Intending to run later and keep productive. Sending you all my best!
Thursday check-in It's been a pretty good day, though I do feel agitated. For one thing, I've been working on reading a difficult text in a foreign language. I feel like it should be easier for me, and I am already behind on my project for which I am reading it. Then I got a number of emails, a couple of which really annoyed me. I didn't get any writing done this morning because I was focused on reading. However, it's undeniable that I've been productive today and this week. I keep telling myself I can accomplish what's in front of me, and I know I can. I still need to meditate in a few minutes. Workout planned for tonight. Onwards and upwards.
I AM ENOUGH! I've come to realize the biggest problem I face is that I can't validate myself very well. I need others to do it for me. I don't think I'm good enough as I am now. I suspect that is tripping the majority of the people here up too. I AM ENOUGH! That'll be a good affirmation to start with.
This is a powerful list you made, if you haven't already try to come with a positive habit to counter these 1 by 1. Keep going man you're making great progress. It is worthwhile, Marcus Aurelius's Meditations has/is teaching me a lot on the journey, stoicism is a way to sharpen and polish the mind including the regulation of emotions.
Checking in Fellowship friends! Day 295 free of MO and day 367 free of Porn. Today was a stressful day, but I have definitely improved with regards to coping with challenging people. I had to deal with 6 difficult people one after the other, I only slightly got phased by the last. I quickly brought myself back to composure though. The momentary loss of composure stood as a lesson. I don't have much more to add for today as I am tired. Stay strong my friends.
Hobbit! So proud once again to be here. I am doing the things I want to accomplish too. Life is good right now. May I maintain this!
Day 8. My wife is angry and sad about our relationship. I must remain strong. The new powers of Uruk-Hai will come in handy. 45 days without porn.
Day 7 Pull-ups in the rain. Besides the workout stuff I spent a lot of the day catching up on my crypto videos (had a ton to watch, but it has to be done) and still not all the way caught up. Definitely still felt a bit dysregulated today, but glad to be back at a week. I feel like this week is flying by.
day 3 I’m not going to pretend that I’ve done something incredible or that I’ve finished my journey, but I’m not going to underestimate this either. I’ve made it pass the horrible first 72 hours. And I’ve done it right! I didn’t run away from my addiction or found a way to pretend it wasn’t there. I used a lot of self talk, a lot of mantra repetition and I came back a couple of time to the motivation letter I’ve wrote myself. I was home alone for most of the time, and I’ve still stayed clean and worked on other good things in my life. I’m really happy. I’m on the beginning of a new clean path and it already feels better than before. @CALM IN SUFFERING, I know that I don’t know anything about the situation you and your wife have, but I would still suggest that you could read and share your situation on the “Reboot in a relationship” sub-form. It's really not easy over there, but reading what other wives are going though really helped me talk to my wife and understand her more. Maybe it could help you too.
Day 263 no PMO. Good day yesterday. I decided to fast the whole day in order to remind myself that I need to rely on God rather than my own efforts to control my life. It actually wasn’t hard at all. All I had the entire day was coffee in the morning and then water the rest of the day. I think I’ll do this more often. Slept better last night also.