The Lord of the Rings Challenge

10 days
@Arisa welcome!
@RiseToGreatness welcome back, you give me courage!
@soggs1 Thanks for the great wisdom. I'm not sure if I hate and sabotage myself. Need to think about this.
@Kairose there is this challenge, may be interesting for you: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...hread-today-i-am-positive-affirmation.128131/

 

Day 1.
It required some focus to build stronger motivation that would prevail the urges but I managed.

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I've always wondered how it is possible that you could love yourself unconditionally. It made no sense to me at all. How can you love yourself for relapsing or acting against your crucial goals. I considred that part of me to be self-destructive. I wanted to cut it out from my brain. It puzzled me. I saw some guys on the forum writing about "unconditional love".

Then I came across this book Self-Therapy A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy by Jay Earley it explained why it should be. The destructive behaviours, eg. procrastination, looking for porn, judging or abandoning people,comparing yourself to others, being malicious or too modest are our childish ways of dealing with stress / pain. The author treats them like separate entities in our minds. Each of them has its own motivation and purpose to protect. You can try to refer to them with names. According to the author, each of those entities (called Protectors) has a positive intent but they sometimes/often overdo or have a warped perception of reality. In order to heal yourself, you need to establish some contact with the parts and "talk" with them with compassion because they are your childhood parts that have worked hard to protect you against unpleasant events or people. However, they lacked the knowledge, emotional skills, experience and had to do with the what they had. Here comes the need to embrace, hug, and educate those parts since they are so "child-like".

At first I read this book with a lot of scepticism (that is another Protector of mine) but I realized it makes a lot of sense and the book allowed me to finally understand what was going on in my mind and why. The effects for the time being when I look at my day 1 are not staggering at first. However, I didn't manage to embrace some of those "entities" and I'm halfway through the book. Yet, thanks to it I managed to learn to notice when my mind switches to those Protector and my real nature (called Self in the book) is pushed aside by them.

Another ground-breaking piece of knowledge from the book is that Self (i.e. my true nature) is POSITIVE - caring, open, curious and resonable. Other negative traits or feelings are only telltale signs that you are no longer Self - the Protector has taken over. But that part (even the one that causes my relapses) they need appreciation for having done their job for years or decades (no matter how self-destructive it was; as you said it tried to "fix" the mood the way it learnt to do) - here comes the unconditional self-love. I need to learn it but it's hard. Yet, it's the only way to be complete - embrace your virtues as well as weaknesses.

 

I left the challenge for some time because I didn't see any progress and comparing myself to those brothers who manage to build long streaks brought me down. However, I returned despite my minute successes. I guess I need to learn patience as well and confidence to focus on my progress without comparing myself to others. I guess that's another issue I need to address.

I'm glad to be back and respect (instead of comparing myself to) those long-haul members.

 

Day 12

I went for a walk today to listen to my audio book rather then take notes at home instead like I was going to. I like the connection I’ve made between the audios and walking every night and don’t want to break that cycle.

I also walked earlier with this guy and worked out so I'm pretty tired. Think I'll just go to bed.

 

Day 8 - Uruk-Hai,
The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr

 

Glad you are back bro !

 

Day 3!

 

Here is the Day 1 everyone...

 

@RiseToGreatness welcome back buddy! So glad to see you again. I was worried.

Day 347 no PMO. Good day. Walked six miles and listened to The Hobbit. Took a cold shower. Got a little blue this afternoon. It’s raining here today and that never helps my mood. Rain is supposed to stop later today so I should be fine soon enough.

 

Thank you! I checked out, seems cool

@Talz do affirmations work with you?
I'm actually feeling better with mindfulness + affirmations.

 

5 days - Feeling really energetic and motivated today. Tried meditating but I'll need a lot more practice...staying focused is still really challenging.

 

Day 8

 

Check in day 130

 

Checking in day 14. Yesterday was a great birthday, did some chores.

 

Day 0, relapsed last nigth. I installed tinder the last weekend becaouse I was sad about my recent broke up with my ex girl. I know that is a triger, so I'm not surprised. I will have the tinder until weekend, just because I already date someone and I dont want to just dissapear. So, again here, stronger. Other thing that make me relapse is to be in social netwokrs to much time. Already logged out from them, to be focused.

Keep strong my brothers!

 

More than motivation is discilple to avoid our triggers.

 

Day 183!

I started meditation recently, also it's hard for me to focus. Try a guided meditation, if you haven't! Helped me a lot.

 

Fellowship, since a few days ago im being attacked with temptations more harshly.

I think the reasons are acceding at not healthy sources of dopamine (watched too much movies lately). And considering to play videogames with a friend (I quit game addiction along P addiction)

Now after months without doing this, I may stare the photo of a cute/hot girl for a few seconds, being this kind of stuff what ramps up to a relapse.

I have to get closer to God, and cut down bad sources of dopamine

 

I think so, but it's hard to say completely as I've been changing a lot in my life very quickly. I keep doing them because I consider them part of my toolkit at this point, but I don't consider it as essential as nofap, exercise, eating well or reading non-fiction daily.