The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 10 completed

The conversation of my parents is still in my head, ever time I go near by them I feel bad about it and I feel like I have lost something. I feel alone sometimes dont know how to keep going in my project eventually I sat to work on it but after sometime I get up and do something unproductive. I love doing my stuff but dont know why I keep getting distracted form it. Well I have to stay stick to the plan, may be it get better after sometime...lets see.

 

I know it man, but I really lack the value of time, every time i have to stop doing some thing I just go for little more eventually messing up my routine. Well I will consider to your advice my Friend I m just gonna go for some physical exercise and all which may help my body eventually.

 

Check in day 48

 

Day 4. II.

Quite a few temptations today. More than I'd like to see on day 4.

Time for sleep. I'll try to organise my time tomorrow better, so that I could journal more.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on July 3rd.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 4.
No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.).
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.

 

Day 4. III.

Temptations are rising. Last few times I relapsed because of overconfidence. So, I should take this seriously, even though it seems not too dangerous. There are two options - to run outside or remember, why am I doing this. Second one seems easier.

Why am I doing this? I have to remember few reasons.

1. I claim that the purpose of my life is to serve God. I have no idea what is my place in God's plan. But everything starts by listening to His word. Constant self-pleasuring with pmo or mo has nothing to do with God's law in my understanding.

2. Health reasons. Constant waste of energy and nutrients for NOTHING REALLY doesn't sound right.

3. Friends. I said to my friends that I am on no pmo challenge. I love my friends. I cannot let those guys down.

4. Keeping my promises. I promised myself year of harmodes. I would like it to happen sooner than later.

I could think of more reasons. But I think that's enough to keep me safe for tonight.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on July 3rd.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 4.
No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.).
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.

 

Day 0!

Man I disappointed u guys again I m really embarrassed and sad about the words of my parents they are whispering inside my head and I don't know what to say now I really don't know what to do now I am just feeling very sorry for letting you all down...

 

Day 7

 

Day 18

Very tired today. No urges surfaced which was fantastic, but as soon as I got home I felt completely shattered. Not good for my mood, and not good for my outlook; I’m off to bed now, taking my girlfriend to meet my family tomorrow!

 

Day 53. Dwarf learning to resist the lure of treasure and find it within himself.

 

Day 15 complete - LEVEL UP - Elf

 

51 days – Paddeling down the river, you crossed The Gates of Argonath, The Pillars of Kings.

 

Day 39!

 

Day 83 - Warrior

 

Day 5.

I am not a happy. Still in some kind of anxious-depressed state. I understand. I have a lot to do. But the thing with me is - the more I'm stressed, the more I am avoiding. Even simple tasks. So, today will be usual day "in the office", when I'll force myself to work. I'll go to libraries - it's easier there.

Also, my hrum stand like crazy this morning. Maybe it's because of Spring. You know, mating season. Or maybe it's because during last relapse I didn't binge much and I didn't make myself "empty" enough.

85 days until denim jacket reward. I have to get it. No excuses.

Stay strong, guys!

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on July 3rd.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 5.
No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.).
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.

 

Good job passing 50 day milestone!

 

temptations resisted:

• yesterday home alone for 10 min
• today alone at work for ~ 2 h
• now home alone for 30 min

I count these three as two.
Days: 4

I think I don't care so much about getting healed anymore. I think I'm more accepting myself being not perfect and being an addict. I really fucked my brain in my younger years but that's ok, I don't have to be perfect and grandious.

I just don't want to watch porn again. I'm hurting the relationship with my soon-to-be wife, I'm hurting my sexuality and I feel generally ashamed and down afterwards.

Have a nice easter holidays, fellowship

 

day 345
Yesterday was a huge back day. Ronnie Coleman's Back day video was really helped me to push harder.
@LZR never give up brother. You can do some meditation stuff and it helps you to calm your mind brother
Happy weekend brothers

 

Lot of things happened in past three days and I have tried to hold myself together but in the end it doesn't even matter. I was Trying to make a habit of meditation but was not that serious about, now I will make sure that I meditate regularly. Thanks for ur support bro, means a lot.

 

We all shear a kind of a same problem here but I belive the best thing is we are trying to overcome our problems making a good life for us and our caring once.

I wish a happy life to you and your wife but you have to make it happen.

 

Day 0 Completed

The jurny starts now, I am still surrounded by same problems but these type of problems don't have a solution I just have to pass through them I don't have any more choice...I should learn to ignore things, it may helped.