The Lord of the Rings Challenge

42. My current state is of confidence. However, I'm acutely aware that it will take just a simpe trigger when I start interact ing with Life and reality, to put me out of this state and into any negative one, where I'll start looking to self mediacte it through N number of ways as toxic media, youtube, video games, sexual thoughts fantasies, which will lead to relapse. As of today, my last resort in such a situation is BRACE and FASTER. But I know, they aren't sufficient. These are the last tools I want to use, for I don't desire to be in the state where I want to self medicate myself.

 

Day 137 no PMO. Had a down emotional day yesterday but didn’t lapse. Decided to eat ice cream in the middle of the day to make myself feel better. Last night at bedtime found myself attracted to my wife so that is good.

 

There is no need to hope! There is only trust! Got a pretty good mood today as I got a glimpse on channeling the energy my lifeforce has! This weekend is going to be amazing if these tests that I am doing on myself work

 

Day 22

 

daily checking in
Little urge
I always use the question to escape of the urges .
¿What i going to win if i do this?
-I will feel worst
-It will not solve my problem.
-I will break my promise to not watch P.
-I will have conflict with myself.
-I will create a little cycle difficult to defeat in begining.
-I will not reach my last streak.

 

day 2.
I'm going to a baseball game tonight so I should live today.

 

Whoa! 25 DAYS! pretty cool! just took a cold shower and heading outside as it is the weekend... at least for a few hours

 

Day 0
Sorry, I haven't been around for a while.

 

Day 41, trod on!

40 days – You try to pass through Caradhras but the PMO forces were strong there. You make a detour to the Dwarven Realm of Moria.

 

Day 15. This one is a hobbit now This one is very happy

 

I will taste man flesh!

 

Day 25

Quick check in. Really, really busy, with a terrible night of sleep last night. And yet, by God's grace, no relapse. I read a book instead. And poured myself a small glass of gin. Sue me.

Today, though, I've found that despite the stress, simply taking action and doing something makes me feel better. I'm still in quite a rush, but I know I will be okay if I keep working. Somehow or another.

Thankful for summer storms today.

 

Thank you. I have not responded until now, but I took your advice and went outside and did some yard work for a few hours earlier in the afternoon. Feeling slightly better and now I am on Day 1 again.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Quick check in. All good here.

 

355 days

 

Day 2.

 

I've been neglecting this site for the past couple weeks because I still have nothing to show for my efforts. It's embarrassing and shameful. Please remember me in your prayers, Fellowship. Lately I've been picking up many more shifts for my part-time job, which has led to me being more tired in general. This could be playing a part in how frequently I relapse but it is a new situation for me, so I'm not sure how to handle it yet.

 

yeah I am starting challenge currently I am an orc.

I am in day 4.

 

10 days

 

Sorry for your situation brother. Can you please describe the desired situation about every not well going aspects of your life? Maybe you should have refused to take part in the exercises which are breaking your moral conduct? Do you think what you learned about yourself is true or have you started to believe into the statement suggested by your therapist? What way do you want to respond(react is limbic system of the brain-respond is prefrontal cortex) to any stress in life? When you play it's a good strategy to judge your play on the skills, patience etc. a not on the vicissitudes of changing fortunes and chance occurrences.
That's is so true, over-stimulation of the dopamine system causes what we call 'burnout' due to decreased sensitivity as well as overall amount of dopamine receptors in our brains. Don't trust blindly anybody ,even your therapist , for we are all human beings and tend to make mistakes from time to time. You are not addict but rather stuck in the cycles of repeated negative ways of reacting rather than responding to stress - that's all, and all you need is to device and consciously implement the right ways of dealing with certain difficult situations in your life.
For the last one-there is no better way to find who you truly are than going into a deep meditation !
So it's definitely worth to learn it if you are currently not practicing it.