That was a fun ride. Now I’m back to 0 Woke up and exercised and went out to study in a public place and I felt like shit and my brain was just not working. So I came back home to an empty house and thought to myself, I’m a hobbit on day 19, I would never relapse now. and I just felt like shit. I did not even fish. I went straight into the computer, bypass all the porn blocker and PMO twice. I swear to god the even my semen looked different after not coming in almost three weeks. Now of course I feel like shit. Half hour ago my girlfriend came back and jokingly asked if I’m still a hobbit and it was like a punch to the face for the both of us. She was so happy for me that I’ve made it two whole weeks that she made me a cake. So she was also disappointed and even that both of us know that this process would take time and would have some ups and downs. She just looked so sad, and told me that I too just didn’t act right (and I’m not, I’m being weird and I just don’t know how to not be weird right now). so we took some space and I’m in the other room right now typing this because I can’t be around her right now. And the really shit thing is that I know that I would PMO again tomorrow morning. On some level it’s all I really want. And I feel that in order to start a new streak I need to “get that out of my system” and at the same time I know that it’s the wrong thing to do.