THE SUPER SAIYAN CHALLENGE! What is your Power Level?! (RANKS ARE BACK, GET YOURS NOW!

Or maybe porn has f-ed up your threshold of what you find attractice? I know that since I've stopped watching porn I find a lot more women attractive now and I am now even able to find a woman attractive by other feats than just some (extreme) physical features.

So I think it's way more complex than just you not living the life that women find attractive. Work on yourself on the short (dress up, work in your hygene, etc.) mid long (work out, have a proper diet) and long term (quit porn, high endorphine activities like gaming / social media).

 

Day 163 (in a couple of hours)

In the past 5 years of trying I was never able to either keep it up this long nor this strict. I keep saying it over and over again: but everything that remotely resembles your actions to watching porn is already enhancing the addiction in your brain you want to kick. With a substance it is easy: just don't take it and you recover. For us it is waayyy more complex: it is not a substance, but a behavior. And the biggest problem of kicking this specific behavior (compared to for example gambling in a casino) is that it is super low threshold (just one click away on your phone, laptop, computer that is 24/7 available) and it's very easy to just "ease into it": "I will only quickly Google this porn star but won't click any links in the search results": BAM! Relapse...

When I started this recovery journey, I always found it very inspirational and motivational to hear how life is on "the other side", i.e. after a longer streak of abstinence. Well what I can tell you is one thing: I do not have super powers: I don't suddenly have thicker hair, better skin or am suddenly (much) more social. I am still me. The major immediate improvements are:

1. Time: I am not wasting 5-10 hours a week on watching porn
2. More mental clearity & motivation and much less to none brainfog and lethargic feelings
3. Range of real women I now find attractive has increased and I can appreciate more subtle and non physical attributes in women

Other more subtle improvements:

• I am much more focussed, motivated and way more productive at work, in the gym, self study and dancing.
• Sleep is way more stable / refreshing
• Better able to concentrate: right after a relapse I could only read 1 or 2 pages of a novel, now I sometimes read a 100 pages without a break
• Better mood in general

 

Day 0, failed yesterday.
I stayed late on the computer at night.
I also felt sad and didn't handle it well. At some point I googled for P to escape the emotions.
I thought the blocker would block it ( still wrong to search anyway) but to my surprise it didn't and I failed.
I have failed like this many times.
I'll repeat the lessons from this since I haven't internalized them yet.
- No screens after 10.
- If I feel a painful emotion, I'll stop all else, move away from distractions (food, screens) and write down what is bothering me, then work on it.
- Blockers are good to have but can't rely on them as a crutch. It is me who has to do the real work of moving away from PMO.
I keep fighting.

 

Day 426!

 

Day 1

 

Ah well I'm not going to find fat women or single moms attractive, because that's just objective and having standards. Im not going to ask out a woman if her life is messed up, and that lowers her attraction level to me. Maybe shes pretty but does OF. In that case i might initially feel that shes attractice, but my values take over and i feel disgust towards her. And what you said about working on myself, is exactly what I meant by not living the kind of life that women find attractive.

 

This is my day 3 check in

 

Day 2.

 

Day 381

 

You got this. I find the first 15 days pretty hard and that isn't until the next rank up here. I like doing the Jedi Council challenge as well because the rank ups there start at a 7 days with Padawan, and the other ranks are offset by the ranks here so I get to rank up different times between the two challenges. I'll be a Jedi Master in only 9 days, but not a Super Saiyan 2 until another 24 days.

 

Checking in Saiyan's!

Relapsed. 4-5 nights straight of insomnia got to me and I lost touch with reality. I almost went down a very dark path, all in an attempt to fill a void. I've lost touch with certain habits, I need to rekindle them. I may not be as vocal on the forums for the time being, but I will keep in line with my check ins.

My ancestors did not survive for me to give in to daily instantaneous and easy pleasure. My father and his fathers before him, did not suffer for me throw it all away. I need to be better, a man that I can be proud of and a man that my ancestors will look down on and smile.

I'll start my day 0 tomorrow, as I prefer starting from a fresh day.

Keep training!



@DRAGON_ Congrats on ascending brother!
@KaiokenX20 Congrats on reaching the next level brother!
@Dovahkin101 Thank you for sharing the Aragorn video brother!

 

Day 33 saiyans

Been feeling really angry and full of rage. Its honestly amazing I haven't destroyed someone. But this hate is necessary, for far too long many of us have kept our selves numb and complacent due to this demon and as a result have allowed constant disrespect to go without consequence, and some times for too long. Enough, death looms over us all. We must fight, we must conquer for the end is inevitable.
Keep going saiyans.
Fight or die!

@Redemptionisrequired thank you brother. I know you'll make it through this. I always love reading your posts on this forum, you help a lot of people here.

 

This is exactly what I've been trying to avoid in the past week. That girl at the coffee shop is cute and of course I have feelings of asking her out, but I can almost guarantee that I will be rejected. And that rejection will fuel feelings for pmo, like it did in the past. It's hard to just mind my own business, get my coffee and go on with my day. It can be hard to tell if a girl is into you. A lot of women are just nice to be nice, and unless it's obvious she's into you well you have to find out the hard way like you did. And that takes guts which I respect. And you didn't relapse. Maybe I will rethink about asking out that coffee shop girl, even if I probably will get rejected.

 

I am having troubling pmo thoughts and they are disruptive. The problem is letting my mind wander and it just ends up in that place. I wanted to relax for a bit but it seems that I will need to do something to get my mind away from that. It could lead to a relapse, but so far I don't desire to relapse even though I'm having those thoughts flashing through my mind. The truth is that I don't want to relapse. I want a girlfriend. Well that probably won't happen for some time until I've worked on myself more. And the only way is through work, not by sitting around day dreaming. If I got time to sit around day dreaming then I got time to work on my goals. I'm having those sensations of lust but I know that I will feel different when I focus on something else. Alright I'll go and do something, report how I feel then here in this post, and then post it.

I'm back now after playing an hour of piano. Now I feel like lying down and I'm not bothered by pmo thoughts.

 

today is the second day. I will go on until ......... just go on, with no expect