The Web: Then & Now

[Deleted Account]

I started using the internet in the early 2000s. It was still a developing and largely unexplored frontier. People seemed excited and optimistic about it despite the fact that it was a relatively new technology as far as mainstream products and services went. [What is internet?] Cell phones were already common although there was no such thing as a smartphone – the closest thing to one back then was probably the Sidekick. Both computers and mobile devices (no tablets at that time) were unspeakably slow. Loading a single JPEG image could take a minute or two depending on the oftentimes shitty combination of connection and hardware.

Fast forward about a decade (2008-2012). There are now several somewhat established adult "tube" sites online. As well as these, there are more than a handful of others that offered exclusive content (picture galleries, videos for download) on a monthly or annual subscription basis. It probably wasn't until about the mid 2010s, though, that most people in modern cities had home internet speeds fast enough to handle streaming and HD video.

We find ourselves currently in the early 2020s. It's almost impossible to compare the internet then and now. A ton of people like to think and say that we've never been more connected. At the same time, just as many, if not more, think and say that we've never been more disconnected. But connected how? Disconnected how? In my own experience, it seems like we're connected to the digital world but disconnected from our families, our friends, nature, the things that really matter and make life worth living.

There's no doubt that most people wouldn't hesitate to admit that we live in what are in many ways hyper sexual societies. There is almost no avoiding this aspect of our material reality. From advertisements on the street to social media feeds on our screens, suggestive imagery and content can seem inescapable. Most of us are inundated 24/7/365.

How did we get here? It seems like a blur.

Can you imagine what younger generations will have to deal with? The adult industry will almost certainly continue to grow at an unprecedented pace. Major publications will almost certainly continue to defend, normalize and glorify the modern concept of sex work.

I think it's easy to feel overwhelmed as I and surely many of you do or have at some point or another. But I think it's important to identify our problems and consider them subjectively and objectively in order to come up with sufficient solutions for the purpose of healing.

This might be a bit all over the place and I apologize if that's the case. I'd love to know your thoughts and ideas.

 

[OrganizeInformed]

We need to understand how technology and media works on our minds and be able to do better job ourselves. I do think it's possible, but a little mindfulness (maybe with an app..) and just swearing off a few mainstream social media sites really barely scratches the surface, and in my limited experience people in addiction recovery doesn't understand this issue or the technologically enabled ones. The tools we have is a bit like the House of Pong in Neuromancer, or rather that's kind of the popular level understanding and relationship people have to it - and here I'm thinking of recovery tech.

 

[Deleted Account]

We need to understand how technology and media works on our minds and be able to do better job ourselves. I do think it's possible, but a little mindfulness (maybe with an app..) and just swearing off a few mainstream social media sites really barely scratches the surface, and in my limited experience people in addiction recovery doesn't understand this issue or the technologically enabled ones. The tools we have is a bit like the House of Pong in Neuromancer, or rather that's kind of the popular level understanding and relationship people have to it - and here I'm thinking of recovery tech.

I agree that we need to have a better understanding of technology and media. I just don't think replacing apps needs to be a part of that process. You can't fight fire with fire. My situation is one that I think would benefit from a tech cleanse and I'm confident when I assume the same is at least part of what's needed for the majority of guys here (not to mention countless other people all over the world). Not only do I depend and rely on porn to get through stressful times and times of boredom, I tend to linger online, reading, playing games, watching YouTube videos. It's not healthy or beneficial or a productive use of one's time. I'd make the argument that there are almost as many internet addicts here as there are porn addicts.

 

[Thackeray]

I agree that we need to have a better understanding of technology and media. I just don't think replacing apps needs to be a part of that process. You can't fight fire with fire. My situation is one that I think would benefit from a tech cleanse and I'm confident when I assume the same is at least part of what's needed for the majority of guys here (not to mention countless other people all over the world). Not only do I depend and rely on porn to get through stressful times and times of boredom, I tend to linger online, reading, playing games, watching YouTube videos. It's not healthy or beneficial or a productive use of one's time. I'd make the argument that there are almost as many internet addicts here as there are porn addicts.

That last sentence is spot on. I put blocks on sites I used often. Not just porn here.. News sites and forums that are really of benefit to me. I find often still, instinctively, I unconsciously type in sites on the search bar. Yes, definitely have some addiction going on there. Perhaps comfort spaces to distract. Look up your digital wellbeing on your settings (if on phone) maybe is a shock. Still, far too much time spent in digital spaces for me. As for some of the talk here, I feel very mixed about nofap. It's kind of a sadness that this wasn't a thing when I was a teenager in the early 00's. Though that said, no tube sites back then, very different internet and porn. I only discovered nofap in my late 20's, late 2013. It has and can make a real difference to a person's life. I can vouch for that.

 

[Deleted Account]

That last sentence is spot on. I put blocks on sites I used often. Not just porn here.. News sites and forums that are really of benefit to me. I find often still, instinctively, I unconsciously type in sites on the search bar. Yes, definitely have some addiction going on there. Perhaps comfort spaces to distract. Look up your digital wellbeing on your settings (if on phone) maybe is a shock. Still, far too much time spent in digital spaces for me. As for some of the talk here, I feel very mixed about nofap. It's kind of a sadness that this wasn't a thing when I was a teenager in the early 00's. Though that said, no tube sites back then, very different internet and porn. I only discovered nofap in my late 20's, late 2013. It has and can make a real difference to a person's life. I can vouch for that.

I don't even mess with those apps that track usage time and all that. Between my devices, work and play, I'm probably online in excess of 10 hours a day. It's not good. And I know that plenty of guys here could say the same. Maybe some of us don't think it's problematic because we see our friends and families doing the same thing. It becomes the norm after a while.

I too have mixed feelings about NoFap. I feel like a lot can be learned here from certain members. At the same time, every time I've made a new account here or on Reddit so that I can participate on the sub there, my "streaks" tend to get markedly shorter for whatever that's worth. It might have something to do with how focus is directed.