Trying to start NoFap again!

Thanks for that.
It's very interesting to hear about those cables and connectors, and its great to know that you enjoyed it so much, but I won't be trying it.
Were you taking meth ? I've never had that, only amph sulphate. I never mixed it with psychedelics, but I wish I had, as I'm sure it would have suited me fine.
It a hellava shame to hear about your loss of sensitivity in your cock. I'm wondering whether the main cause of it is you having come off amph. After all, you've been experiencing hyper sex, and normal, everday jerking is, as I well know, pretty mundane after that.

 

If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean when you say "I block the sensations because of beliefs." ?

 

Forgive me for this, Spikey, but I've just read that slowly half a dozen times and I haven't got a clue what you're talking about. You did say it's "impossible to describe in words", so I can't say I wasn't warned. I'd love to know what you mean, so please have another go, even though it's probably impossible. I like chatting with you, and I'm pissed-off with myself for not being able to understand you .... hell, does that make any sense ?

 

I've just read the first paragraph again, and the though came into my mind that you are describing a state of pure being, almost outside of time.

 

I was pissed-off with myself, not you.

Yes, you're talking about a state of bliss that transcends this mundane, everyday reality of ours. I've experienced it too on LSD. Everything is sublime, time hardly exists, you're in awe at your own existence, barriers hardly exist any more, everything seems JUST RIGHT, you've glimpsed absolute beauty !!

 

How right you are ! I've had some hellish experiences with LSD, but I think the heavenly ones outweigh them. There's no point in me trying to talk about the musical experiences I've had on psychedelics, because they are indescribable, heavenly .... like being turned into sound.

I've got to drag myself away from this computer and go out to do some shopping. Thanks for the best online chat I've ever had, and keep your hands off your you know what ! hahahaha Will you be here later ?

 

No, I never combined amph with a psychedelic, but I wish I had done. I certainly couldn't have ridden my bike on a mixture like that. A crash would have been inevitable !

Tell me to piss-off if I'm wrong, but I think you're so short of dopamine that you're depressed. Not severely, because you couldn't think and write if you were, but depressed enough for it to be disrupting your life and making you feel miserable. What do you say to that ?

 

Sorry about my ignorance, but what is Ritalin, and what's it used for ? Does it make you high ?
What do you mean by your 'app' ? Can you please explain these thing to me, then I'll have a much better idea of what you're telling me.

 

Hi Spikey,
How are you today ? How's everything going ? For the record, I relapsed yesterday, but it was nothing to do with our chat. When I was in the supermarket, I saw a gorgeous girl with a tight-jeans-clad-ass made in heaven. I couldn't get my eyes off it (I hope nobody noticed, because I live two minutes walk away and am know in there), and I discreetly followed her around getting a fucking good look at it. Her face and hair were gorgeous too. When I got back here, I just gave in to my fantasies about her. The irony of it is that if I'd been fapping every day I would have noticed and lusted after her, but wouldn't have been driven to jerk off when I got home. That's my problem with stopping, if you get what I mean.

I read, or tried to read (you need a degree in chemistry), the Wikipedia article about Ritalin, and, after re-reading what you've told me about it, was tempted to get on the dark web and buy some (I've got a stash of bitcoins). I resisted the temptation, but wonder if I'll be able to resist it the next time I'm pissed. I won my battle with excessive drinking, but still get drunk about once a fortnight. Fuck ! I need the occasional binge. I don't have the bullies in my head that you have, but I have to get out of it from time to time.

Steve ....

 

Do you remember me telling you that I cut the dealers out of my life when I gave up the amph ? - horrible people - ruthless, greedy, and determined to keep you hooked for ever and ever. Anyway, I got into bitcoin so I could buy weed without coming into contact with those types.

Don't you experience any desire at all, even after 15 days without fapping ? If you don't at all, then in one way I envy you, but in another I don't. Forgive me, mate, but what I find SO difficult to understand, and that's my problem, not yours, is how NoFap can restore what you call "magic": desiring hot girls you see from day to day. Most of us are trying to restrain ourselves when we get turned on by girls, or men, we see from day to day (in the street or in porn) and that's why we're trying to give up wanking, yet you're trying to restore your lust by giving up wanking. Tell me I'm fucking mad if I've got this wrong.

 

Spikey
I've just re-read all your posts. Dear man, I should have told you the truth from the start, but I didn't. My porn and wanking mania has stuffed my brain with endless fetishes. I know you've spent a lot of time here, so I think you'll know what I'm talking about. The truth is that when I first saw your avatar, the beautiful boy face made me as horny as fuck. I don't think I'm REALLY queer, but I've watched loads of twink porn, and it's turned me on. I'd always lusted after cunt and ass before finding porn, but looking for bigger kicks with porn made me search out other things, and one of them (and ONLY one of them) was gay sex. The others are rimming beautiful female asses, and licking pussy. God, how I wanna lick-out a hairy pussy and asshole !