Want to finally COMPLETE and FOLLOW THROUGH With NoFap.. Any advice

I'm glad to see you've decided you want to finally be free from PMO! What ai think you need in order to achieve this is a true changing and regrowth of your mind. While I've heard of cases where people said there were cured from porn addiction instantly, I haven't found many on here. Probably in most cases, someone makes the decision where they want to be (free from PMO), and it takes a long time, with many failures along the way.

My first advice is never to give up on that goal, no matter how much you fail: freedom still is available! Delayed but not defeated!

Second, starting out, you must learn to recognize the moment you're being triggered, what's causing it, and (the hard part early on) pulling yourself away from that source instantly. Do this until it becomes a habit.

Third find other activities that keep you out of the house and with other people--good upstanding people--as much as possible. Make it a rare occurrence to be home alone with the TV/internet. Be as productive with your time at home as you can, and keep a regular sleep schedule so you don't need to take naps.

Forth, especially early on, you'll probably start feeling very strong and often depressing emotions, because the PMO numbness is wearing off. Recognize when this happens, take comfort in it, and use those hard times to LEARN. Learn what real thing is behind this awful feeling and form plan to overcome it.

And all along the way, find a good church with middle of the week small groups etc., and really get plugged in, seeking deeper spiritual growth.

Those are very broad, big picture steps. For starters, I think it's good to commit to 90 clean as a whistle, after which you'll probably relapse for a time, but then move onward and upward to longer periods, until you reach escape velocity with that change of mind I mentioned.

 

Although these may not work for everyone, here are a few things that have worked for me:

1. Keep a journal and just write down everything you are feeling, whether it is related to PMO or not. I find that a journal helps me to get things off my chest and feels like a weight is lifted off of me. I also used the journal and wrote down everything I was feeling before and after a PMO session, which really helped me identify my root cause for watching porn.
2. Celebrate your victories. As someone that has been addicted to porn for close to 30 years and tried to quit porn many times, a mindset shift is needed. Try to find the positive things in life. Every day when I wake up I look in the mirror and say 3 positive things about myself. I also applied this positive mindset to a PMO relapse. I'm well aware the natural feelings after a relapse are shame and disgust with yourself. Instead of beating myself up I would say something like, "ok i relapsed but I made it 10 days without PMO my best streak ever. I will do better next time."
3. Don't count the days. I see a lot of posts that say I'm going to do 90 days, like that is a magic number that after 90 days the addiction goes away. It never goes away. Instead I would set smaller goals and then increase them a little at a time. For example when I got serious about NoFap last summer I might say, "I want to go the weekend without PMO." Then after the weekend, I would say "let's get to Wednesday without PMO." To have a goal in sight made it easier for me to stay focused.
4. Find new activities to fill the time when you would normally PMO. Preferably something away from all screens to remove the temptation. Once I got my mind involved in something for 5-10 minutes the urge to watch porn has passed.
5. I instituted a penalty for myself when I would PMO. I love to workout and am into fitness and trying to stay as healthy as possible, so my penalty if I PMO is that I must consume 3000 calories of garbage food (donuts, cookies, chips, etc) in one sitting as soon as possible after I PMO. I had 2 days when I PMOd and both days i felt sick after all that garbage food. On the 3rd day I thought about PMOing and remembered how sick i felt afterwards and that convinced me not to PMO. The trick here is that you must institute your penalty. It would be real easy to say "oh i forgot" or "I'll do it tomorrow" but you have to push that aside and live up to the promise you made to yourself.

 

True, you shouldn't expect 90 days squeaky clean to complete the mind changing process. But one should do it anyway, because setting and reaching a very difficult goal grows one's morale, and in that 90 day period, a lot of mental stuff starts to change again towards health.

Very few millennials have actually gone 90 days without any sexual activity. Whereas, merely trying to get through one week is the same old thing any PMO addict has done time and time again, until it's been, say, 30 years without recovering.

I also would never recommend self-harming, whether it's binge eating, cutting your flesh, or any other unhealthy activities. If you need a 'punishment' mechanism, better to get Covenant Eyes, or some other interpersonal accountability, as outside your control as possible.

 

Nofap is simple, simple but not necessarily easy.

It's a balancing act, increase your peace of mind on one end, decrease your fear of suffering on the other end(all fears are a fear of suffering).

So an example of this would be say, meditation, that would increase your peace of mind, then perhaps write a list of your fears and begin knocking that list one by one, that would decrease your fear of suffering.

Also anything that increase one will automatically decrease another, so you can only focus on one of them if you so choose.

That's how you do it.

 

Don't dwell on shame and guilt. They will get you nowhere. Focus only on progress and doing better.
If you can, when you are ready, open up to a person who is skilled in listening and does not judge, such as a good psychologist. It was the only thing that truly, seriously helped me. I have said this to other guys, but I would kill to be your age and making this decision. It gets more difficult as you age. I sometimes fear it is too late for me, but I won't succumb to negative thoughts.
And, don't count the days. That's a useless exercise.

 

It is never too late to make a change for the better brother. You are not here by accident. and neither am I. God bless

 

Yes, counting days make me fall all too often, much like mental issues each day is a fierce battle!

 

Love the positivity! I believe we always need it nonstop!