Hi All,
I am 30 and have been watching porn since I was probably 14 or 15. Specifically, I was always into fetish porn but restricted to some fetishes. During my university years from age of 19-23, i have been in relationships and have multiple one nights stands, however, I have always suffered from PIED (only realised this after finding out about NoFap). Even when I had a girlfriend I could only get excited when we would indulge in fetishes. I couldn't get an erection with anything vanilla. While indulging in fetishes I also noticed that I couldn't stay hard long enough. Now my fetishes seem to be getting more intense.
Fast forward to 2020, my porn habit has now morphed into sexting. I no longer watch porn but find myself constantly trying engaging in sexting conversation with older flings or going on tinder etc.. and finding new women to sext with.
While its easier to just not watch porn, dealing with sexting is very difficult. Over the last few years, I have managed to find 100's of women to sext with. Although after a relapse, I feel guilty and delete all their numbers. I realise that sooner or later when I am on a streak I do get random texts from them. At this point, the trigger is too strong for me to resist.
I've also noticed that when I watched the porn binging was much less as I used to peak and orgasm quickly. But with sexting, this can go on all day, as you exchange sexts throughout the day, many times with women in other timezones. This has to lead me to chase this prolonged high more than just a quick porn watch and orgasm session. This also means that even an app like WhatsApp is not safe for me as all my 'porn' seems to be on it now. I also tend now to spend money on the premium version of these apps to be able to swipe in other regions and find new women, as sexting with the same peroson gets boring and doesn't provide the same high. I also feel guilty that I have to lie to these women, and unlike porn, here there is a real person involved who may develope expectations, that I keep defaulting.
I've tried everything, from a digital detox to minimising my phone usage, to even buying a feature phone. But, unfortunately, I today's time it's difficult to function without a smartphone.
I seem to be doing much better, but I still need help to fully reboot. While I seem to be getting my life on track by building better habits, I do find my self relapsing after a week, which is not helping my PIED at all.
If anyone has experience in beating this. Please help.
Cheers!
I am 30 and have been watching porn since I was probably 14 or 15. Specifically, I was always into fetish porn but restricted to some fetishes. During my university years from age of 19-23, i have been in relationships and have multiple one nights stands, however, I have always suffered from PIED (only realised this after finding out about NoFap). Even when I had a girlfriend I could only get excited when we would indulge in fetishes. I couldn't get an erection with anything vanilla. While indulging in fetishes I also noticed that I couldn't stay hard long enough. Now my fetishes seem to be getting more intense.
Fast forward to 2020, my porn habit has now morphed into sexting. I no longer watch porn but find myself constantly trying engaging in sexting conversation with older flings or going on tinder etc.. and finding new women to sext with.
While its easier to just not watch porn, dealing with sexting is very difficult. Over the last few years, I have managed to find 100's of women to sext with. Although after a relapse, I feel guilty and delete all their numbers. I realise that sooner or later when I am on a streak I do get random texts from them. At this point, the trigger is too strong for me to resist.
I've also noticed that when I watched the porn binging was much less as I used to peak and orgasm quickly. But with sexting, this can go on all day, as you exchange sexts throughout the day, many times with women in other timezones. This has to lead me to chase this prolonged high more than just a quick porn watch and orgasm session. This also means that even an app like WhatsApp is not safe for me as all my 'porn' seems to be on it now. I also tend now to spend money on the premium version of these apps to be able to swipe in other regions and find new women, as sexting with the same peroson gets boring and doesn't provide the same high. I also feel guilty that I have to lie to these women, and unlike porn, here there is a real person involved who may develope expectations, that I keep defaulting.
I've tried everything, from a digital detox to minimising my phone usage, to even buying a feature phone. But, unfortunately, I today's time it's difficult to function without a smartphone.
I seem to be doing much better, but I still need help to fully reboot. While I seem to be getting my life on track by building better habits, I do find my self relapsing after a week, which is not helping my PIED at all.
If anyone has experience in beating this. Please help.
Cheers!