What do you do during an urge?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Dark Warrior, May 1, 2016.

  1. Dark Warrior

    Dark Warrior Fapstronaut

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    Okay, so most of us know that we want to quit porn 100%. We don't need reasons as to why we should want to quit, or goals/motivations. We know the benefits of quitting damn it. The problem is that we lose all rationality during an urge.

    So rather than motivational stuff, what's an effective way to deal with urges for you guys? What do you do during an urge?
     
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  2. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Sometimes it is as simple and brutal as saying "NO!" just one more time.
     
  3. i do something fun like playing osu!
     
  4. gogibasket

    gogibasket Fapstronaut

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    They say cold showers could help, I didn't try it.
     
  5. SPIRAL OUT

    SPIRAL OUT Fapstronaut

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    It helps tremendously to do some form of physical activity. Just sitting around or reading a book or watching TV won't help. And for god's sakes, do NOT surf the web, FB, etc. It will only release triggers. Go out for a walk, run, hit the gym, etc. If you have access to parks, I find that hiking or running trails is fantastic. Keep in mind to "watch your breath" while exercising; this will help put you in a meditative state and realize that your urges are fleeting thoughts. Watch them come, and watch them go. They will always be there; just acknowledge their existence and do that extra mile, pushup, whatever.

    Good luck, you aren't in this alone.
     
  6. Dark Warrior

    Dark Warrior Fapstronaut

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    @SPIRAL OUT Thanks for the support man. Problem is, I've been really physically active lately nearly every day but it doesn't prevent urges. Triggers sometimes just pop up in my head unexpectedly, without the use of internet. I just need to learn to deal with those random urges.
     
  7. Aaayron

    Aaayron Fapstronaut

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    Well, I will admit, the last time I had an urge I was too weak to overcome it, so I gave in and lost my 6 day streak and started a 2 day relapse streak, which I made sure to stop immediately.

    For the future though, I feel that I should just either take a walk or release that energy in me into something else, like maybe on my bass or something. Also, the Emergency Button feature of this site would seem VERY useful, so I'll be sure to head there if ever the time comes haha.
     
  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    I've had plenty of urges lately. What I do is just hold them at arm's length, and observe them for a bit. Over the course of doing this for a few weeks, I've noticed them become weaker. Actually, I imagine I will end up with a low-level constant and consistent urge, which I think is the natural and desirable state of a red-blooded man anyway. It's the wild swings that trip us up.
     
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  9. Dark Warrior

    Dark Warrior Fapstronaut

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    @Aaayron Emergency button? Random quotes about life don't really do it for me =/ I'm always surprised that many find it helpful

    @Buzz Lightyear Observing them I've heard is a good idea. I usually prevent any sexual thoughts from entering my mind, but when they finally do and I slip up, it's a wild swing like you said.
     
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  10. Aaayron

    Aaayron Fapstronaut

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    Well I was pretty sure from the get-go that it's not for everyone, but I strongly feel that it honestly has a good chance of helping those others that easily get moved by those kinds of things (me included lol). Different strokes for different folks as they say haha (not that kind of stroke tho).
     
    Dark Warrior likes this.
  11. LTMBB

    LTMBB Fapstronaut

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    The worse my urge can get is to p subs but I don't go beyond that. Other than that I can brush them off.
     
  12. Reach out to a person in your life. I don't care who it is, your mother, brother, friend, whatever.

    Porn/wanking is a solitary activity. We are alone, bored, tired, stressed. We reach for porn and a wank to fill the time, kill the boredom, ease the stress. What did people do to eliminate those things before we all had porn in our bloody pocket? We'd call bro and vent. We'd go hook up with a friend, go out, have a beer and chat. We would DO something. We would talk to someone.

    Make sure you are not isolating. Porn is a problem that develops in seclusion and continues in seclusion. What broke urges for me early on was stopping the loner behavior. I socialized, whether I wanted to or not.

    Once I got through the initial say 90 days or so in the beginning with being social, the urges became a joke. Less and less until finally gone.

    Shine a light here. This is an addiction of darkness and solitude. It cannot thrive in the light of day filled with people you care about.
     
  13. francisable

    francisable Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this

     
  14. the_navigator

    the_navigator Fapstronaut

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    I absolutely agree. What I do when I am having very strong urges and still need to work (I do IT so can't really get away from the computer), I post and read on here for support or I call my sponsor, find a meeting or go to starbucks or someplace public if I still need to work. I could only image how I would feel if a barista had to come ask me to "stop watching porn, there are children and other adults present." I have found that since I am in the beginning of my recovery (only 12 days in) that the best thing for me to do is to remove myself from situation as much as possible. Take the ability to act out away, then I can sit with the urge and figure out what's driving it and deal with the primary emotion and the secondary (need for porn, m, or any other sexual activity) will dissipate.
     
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  15. burningheart

    burningheart Guest

    The things that most help me is to strongly focus on how badly you feel after you give in. I hate that feeling of weakness & failure and I do anything to not feel that way again. When urges do arise, I treat it like my house is on fire and I get the heck out, take a drive, ride or walk. Removing yourself is the best line of defense.
     
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  16. the_navigator

    the_navigator Fapstronaut

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    That's what I did yesterday. That also gave me the ability and safe space to figure out what's really going on. Yesterday I realized that because of my addiction I have stayed away from any type of real relationship and that's catching up to me. Keeping myself cutoff from love of another so I was just feeling lonely. I acknowledge my feelings talked to my sponsor and was much better able to handle the rest of my day.
     
  17. Rikarwb

    Rikarwb Fapstronaut

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    Apart from failing NoFap challenge,

    I once had this big urge to PMO, i just dropped what i was doing, put my earphones on, and started working out until my body was in pain.

    Throughout the next week i regretted that decision because i was really in pain :p
     
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  18. moonshapedpool

    moonshapedpool Fapstronaut

    **This** — a million over a million times. Thank you for posting, @TheSumOfAllBeers. I really needed this the last few days. I still do.
     
  19. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    In the initial stages, physical and social outlets are going to help. But this is only a start, for there will always be times when you find yourself home alone. While doing physical stuff, you also need to start doing mental stuff. This will develop your interests and tastes and give you the resilience you need in those solitary hours. Actually, the full enjoyment of solitude, or the solitary moments, would signify complete recovery.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2016
  20. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    @Dark Warrior : This is how i was doing when i have a psychosis episode, just like strong urges, i was alone in the room, fighting the "thing" inside for hours until it's gone.
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