Wtf am I doing?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, May 1, 2018.

  1. outplan

    outplan Fapstronaut

    That's a representation of how you value yourself. Basically you don't value yourself so you look for value in having a hot girl. That's dangerous and is probably the void that PMO is helping to fill the pain of. That's what @Supra says when he talks about accepting yourself the way you are. Just say out loud "I'm me. I'm happy being me but I'm going to build a better me".

    You say you're not depressed, anxious or lonely so what is PMO fixing for you? Stop looking at what other people have and focus on improving yourself. Everything else will fall into line after that (but it will take time).
     
    Immature and Supra like this.
  2. Despression, anxiety and loneliness are serious things. If I say that I am one of them, I know for sure that I am underestimating them because I had 2 of them.
    Never had loneliness, but If I continue to be this soloman, I will have it for sure.

    No PMO, I did it for 13 days and relapsed yesterday :S.

    I felt my mind changing when doing no PMO.
    I think that knowing that we can control ourselves, especially masturbating which is a very difficult thing, gives us the idea that we are able to achieve many things.
    Other things that I noticed like looking at girls, speaking with a louder voice when talking to a group of people, waking up with more energy and will, were all result of no PMO.
    Another thing was that I wanted to be in places with girls. I used to escape or deviate from any place with girls because of my "HIGH" self-esteem.
    In no PMO, because of the "myth" that we store our sexual energy and girls feel it (which I don't believe but who knows?) I just wanted them to feel it xD.
    I am writing this and laughing at the same time, but yes, no PMO for 13 days changed a bit of me.
    No PMO will definitely give me tools to improve my life. But I have to use them and that is what I am going to do.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2018
    P-Free and outplan like this.
  3. QUOTE="SoloMan, post: 1468929, member: 217380"]PMO will definitely give me tools to improve my life. But I have to use them and that is what I am going to do.[/QUOTE]

    I think you mean "No PMO" or "NoFap" - right?
     
  4. I think you mean "No PMO" or "NoFap" - right?[/QUOTE]

    Yes :eek:. I edited it.
     
    Immature likes this.
  5. I have a question. I read some papers about pick up artists. And they give always the idea that we should think that this is like a game.
    And girls are like "objects" from this game.

    I remember when I played mmorpg games. And when I saw female players I started to chat with them without any concern and fear.

    I can't do that in real life because I have fear of rejection. IRL girls can say you are ugly, you are fat, you are that, etc. But if I think of them as objects, whatever they tell me will be worthless right? Is this possible to achieve? Feeling like we are god's and girls are ljust objects.
     
  6. outplan

    outplan Fapstronaut

    I read some pickup artist stuff and not because I wanted casual sex but because I was interested in meeting women and didn't know how to do it. I used the 20second rule (I think it was that, maybe it was 6). If you saw a woman you wanted to talk to you had to do it in 6/20 seconds. I did this with a mate one night and it was great because you don't die. You realise that the anxiety of rejection is imaginary and it really doesn't matter. I got to the point where I could get numbers from women if I wanted and you just start caring a lot less and being more casual/relaxed.

    So if you think you're wanting to work on that, then do it so that the goal is not to sleep with them but rather to talk with them. Rejection doesn't matter, some girls will be having a bad night, some will be bad people. It doesn't matter, you're trying to create the environment in which you can move forward with your life in a direction you want. I think you want to get on top of PMO first though, you really aren't the man you want to be if you can't control that and you won't find the woman you want if you're not there yet.
     
  7. Yes, no PMO first. Unfortunately, I will start again today. I am learning from my mistakes. Strange enough I managed to be 13 days without much effort. Now it is becoming harder. Maybe because I am not so busy...
     
  8. outplan

    outplan Fapstronaut

    That's super important. I'm almost 40 and still working out issues in my life but as you undo things that have been holding you back, moving forward again is easier. You know you can do 13 days, which means you can do 20 too but you've identified that being distracted helps you in your nofap journey, so that's something to maybe organise on your next streak. Stay busy, focus on sleep.
     
  9. Yes. My goal is to be 30 days withou nofa. I really believe that to lose the addictions and rewire the brain we have to be a lot of time without porn.
     
  10. prince san

    prince san Fapstronaut

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    Hey soloman bro, you remind me of myself. I think what you're doing is awesome. Why can't you get married like telling your parents so it doesn't matter about finding girls. Just an idea .
     
  11. Mets1986

    Mets1986 Fapstronaut

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  12. What do you mean get married?
     
  13. prince san

    prince san Fapstronaut

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    Like an arranged marriage or something by the help of your parents, just my opinion
     
  14. John Lee Smith

    John Lee Smith Fapstronaut

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    Marriage is helpful for loneliness but doesn’t cure addictions like porn.
    In my case, I won’t ever marry due to some medical conditions and I am fine with that, marriage and partner is not the most important thing in life, and it gets less important when you don’t want to reproduce, which is my case.
     
  15. prince san

    prince san Fapstronaut

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    Marriage is a important part of life bro. Don't you want a family .
     
  16. Arranged marriage is not something that would help me.
    I want to find somebody that I love and she loves me as well.
    I don't know if this a fairy tail thought, but marry just for the sake of not being lonely is something that I don't accept.
     
  17. outplan

    outplan Fapstronaut

    To find someone first you have to not want someone. This seems paradoxical but the point is that you have to feel comfortable in your own skin. If you have the ability to love yourself and be happy, then other people will have the same reasons to love you too. Focus on healing and feeling good about yourself, meeting the right life partner surely comes after this and not before.
     
  18. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    c'mon man, you are a 27 yo virgin. Why don't you push yourself to the limit and try to make a good streak instead of remaining always the same?
     
  19. I am trying xD.
     
  20. Yes, I believe this the best solution for me. I would give everything to be happy with myself.

    But most guys that I know, didn't have to do such thing to meet their partner. They are just random guys, maybe with better social skills or simply lucky ones.

    btw, yesterday I managed to eye contact a girl for 3 seconds. Funny she was with her boyfriend and the boyfriend noticed it and he looked at me.
    I am practicing eye contact for long periods (3 sec = 3 hours for me).
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 23, 2018

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